revmeup | call me out

[ His terrible day is exactly why she's here, because she did see the news and after she finished laughing her ass off, she'd decided to be a good friend whether he liked it or not. Which he did not. But she persisted more for her own entertainment than his benefit.

She skips up the stoop, heavy bag bouncing jauntily against her hip, and puts on a tone of voice that is absolutely guaranteed to slide under his skin like a needle. ]

Aww! Neggsy-weggsy is gwumpy-wumpy!

[ She drops a hand on top of his hat and spins it on his head as she muscles past him through the door. ]

I brought presents.

Geeeeeeeeeee, Harley. I’m thrilled.

[ His scowl and sarcasm is ever present, and his eye twitches a bit when she touches his hat. That’s his hat. Negs doesn’t have the energy to thwack her with a mallet for that of the petname, so he instead takes to angrily fixing his cap with a grumble.

His hideout is a bit of a dump, but then, what do you expect? It’s spacious but he sure as Walt isn’t the type who entertains, so the interior is a bit barren and messy. Crates, strewn-about blueprints, a Darkwing Duck dartboard covered with bullet holes… the works.

He shuts the door behind him and stalks over to a dilapidated recliner, dropping down with a sigh and a creak. ]

Whadja bring, then? A kick in the teeth?

[ A sour disposition with no violence is the same as sunshine and rainbows with him. He must be so glad to see her. They are best friends. ]

Maybe, with enough foreplay and if you ask real sweet.

[ She drops the bag to the floor and pulls out a bottle of eye wash, chucks it at him. He probably refused to do anything about a gas attack to the face besides tough it out from some misguided sense of badassery. She also pulls out a selection of DVD cases and fans them out in her hands. The nastiest, most gruesome splatter horror a bargain bin has to offer. ]

Brought some comedies for you! And--

[ A hefty axe. ]

It's decent fun, but not for me. Figured you'd get more out of it. And!

[ She raises her arms and stands in a prim little ta-da pose. ]

Me! Apartment building got bombed. I'm crashing here tonight.

[ Ah, finally. The real reason for her mission of goodwill. ]

I don’t know which I’d hate more.

[ Negs nearly misses the projectile, and almost tumbles out of the chair catching it. He gives her a dirty look. He's not going to say thank you, because he's a dick, but he does mumble thirty-six words a Disney character should not say under his breath, and that's pretty much as close as she’s gonna get. There’s also a microscopic voice in his head that says maybe he’s not as alone as he likes to think that promptly gets beaten to death and thrown off a bridge. ]

If I wanted to watch relentless carnage and senseless bloodshed, I’d go for a nice walk in the park.

[ The axe he likes, though.

Negs takes it from her and holds it up, admiring the way it catches the light. There’s a little sneer. He's a simple duck of simple tastes. Then it aaaalllll sinks in, and his eye twitches again, the malice returning full force. ]

Hey, waitaminute!! Whaddya think this is, a bed-and-breakfast?! I got big plans for tomorrow and I don’t need you here muckin’ em up!

Breakfast would be nice.

[ She'll leave the movies stacked on one of his crates. He might change his mind and she's pretty sure he would like them if he gave it a chance. ]

Okay, so you got plans tomorrow. Big whoop. You can still get your scheme on tonight, and I'll be gone in the morning.

[ She bats her lashes and gives the most shit eating of grins. ]

Or am I too distracting?

call me out

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