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[revmeup]

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[revmeup]

[ She squirmed uncomfortably and sunk down in the booth. The two of them must have looked like a teacher scolding a petulant child. ]

I guess...

[hosannas_of_anguish]

[ Something he would be deeply unpleased to hear but, likely what it looked like. He did master that look while teaching.]

You guess? [ A deep breath taken in and let out.] Are you trying to pick a fight with me, Harleen? Is that what this is?

[revmeup]

I dunno! [ She shrugged and pouted and leaned her chin on her hand. ] It's frustrating. When I can't tell what you're thinking and you won't tell me, why wouldn't I assume the worst? That's how it was with J.

[hosannas_of_anguish]

[ He rolled his eyes, not even trying to hide it. Taking his glasses off a moment to rub his eyes before slipping them back on. He needed a moment to unpack that.]

I'm not him, I will never treat you like him. [ He started as he looked at her, only now lifting his coffee.] I don't tell you what I am thinking because I do not want you taking my thoughts as what I expect you to do. I knew how you lived before we started this amorous entanglement, I never expected you to change.

[revmeup]

If I don't know what you want then how'm I s'posed to-- [ She stabbed her fork into her pie with undue force. She huffed and turned to frown out the window. ] You don't want me to change, you don't want me to act out like I did with Joker. I can't do both!

[hosannas_of_anguish]

[ Taking another breath, he forced himself to fold his hands down on the table. When Scarecrow was whispering for him to stay calm he knew his temper was spiking. ]

What I want, Harleen, is for you to be whatever you want to be. Do what you want. I do not want you to sleep with anyone else, I will react very badly if you are unfaithful. That said, I am not a party goer, but you are. We are very much the opposite of each other, we have different needs and different lifestyles.

That said, I mean what I said. I want you, I want you in my life, my home, heart and my bed. Now, tell me what you expect and want.

[revmeup]

I want to be what you want, so I can be with you. I love you but I can't figure out what you need from me and whatever I've been doing so far hasn't been enough.

[ She pressed her face into her hands and groaned in frustration. She bit the inside of her mouth hard enough to draw blood to stop herself from crying like an idiot. ]

[hosannas_of_anguish]

You already are what I want, Harleen. This is what I keep trying to tell you.

[ He leaned forward, trying to study her again. Trying not to misstep but to be honest to. ]

Harleen, I've liked you since I saw you working at Gotham. I believed in you since before you worked for Joker, and knew you deserved better. I don't need you to be anything but you.

[revmeup]

From that long ago? You never said that. How'm I supposed to know that stuff if you don't say it?

[ She spat blood onto her plate and ran her tongue over her teeth before peeking miserably at him from between her fingers. ]

If I'm already what you want then why don't you love me?

Totally meant to write Arkham, opps.

[hosannas_of_anguish]

I had no intention of every telling you. The years we've known one another, would it really matter to know I've held a flame for you the whole time? Does it change anything?

[ He sighed again raking his hand through his hair. ]

Are you still hung up on that? That is a problem with me, not you, Harleen. I can't just say words like that. If I do something will happen and it will be all the worse.

[ The Scarecrow was terrified of getting hurt. ]

[revmeup]

Well, I, I dunno. Woulda been nice to hear it anyway...

[ Her bottom lip was starting to tremble. She bit her mouth again to stop it. She falls apart at the littlest thing and he shuts down at the littlest thing and she could feel herself ready to spiral out of control. ]

Stupid Harl. I should be used to this by now.

[hosannas_of_anguish]

Joker would have killed me the second it was sad. No one was allowed near you. Keeping it to myself allowed us years of friendship.

[ He spoke as he watched her lip tremble. Part of him wanted to stand up and leave, but the rest of him knew that would be the nail in the coffin. He didn't want that. So he looked down in his coffee. ]

Just because I don't say it, doesn't mean I don't feel it, Harleen...

[ He didn't care now if Gotham had a no smoking indoors law, he pulled out to light up.]

It's difficult for me to say these things, let my actions speak for me.

[revmeup]

You coulda said it when we got together, or anytime since then, or- Just woulda been nice. Is all.

[ There was no point arguing about it now. He hadn't told her before and now he had. ]

I know you don't want me talking about Joker, but. But I dunno how to explain without... [ She twisted a napkin in shaking fingers until her knuckles went white. ] I can talk myself into thinking that you love me back, of course you do, you're just bad at saying it. But that's what I had to tell myself with Joker too, and. And. Well. I guess he didn't.

[hosannas_of_anguish]

[ He finally wrapped his fingers of one hand around the coffee cup, the other holding the cigarette. He listened while he took a drag from it. Waiting until she was done before he spoke, after letting the smoke free. ]

Give me time, I will say it, I will mean it. I will not be him. Just give me time, alright?

[revmeup]

[ She looked at him and ... And didn't really believe it. But she had to. ]

Okay. [ She nodded and wiped her face. ] Okay.

[hosannas_of_anguish]

[ He lefts go of the coffee and held a hand over to her, a silent offer of comfort. ]

How about I take next Friday off, and go see your derby? I can't say I will want to stay after, but I know you enjoy your derby, so I would like to see you do it.

[ Relationships were give and take, and his time was the most valuable thing he had to give.]

[revmeup]

[ She took his hand and squeezed. ]

But you'd hate it. Nobody's thinking about books there at all.

[hosannas_of_anguish]

I know what a roller derby is, Harleen. Well, mostly. Tell me where and when to be there and I will.

[ Shifting his hand so he could curl his fingers around her hand in return.]

Ready to come home? Or do you want me to take you to your apartment?

[revmeup]

Can I, really?

[ Her voice was uncharacteristically small and weak. ]

[hosannas_of_anguish]

[ He took another drag, ashing off into the coffee, as wasteful as that was, better than on the table and he was planning to sleep in the next few hours anyway. ]

Yes, Harleen, I want you to come home. Me being irked, upset, or angry doesn't change me wanting you around.

[revmeup]

Can I kiss you? Or are you too upset still?

[hosannas_of_anguish]

I would have to be livid before I turned down a kiss from you.

[ He pushed himself up, and offered his free hand over.]

Come here then, let's do this proper.

[revmeup]

[ Harley stood up and bypassed his hand, throwing her arm around him and kissing the life out of him. There was a distant clatter of dropped dishes as someone in the kitchen got the hottest scoop on rogue gossip. ]

[hosannas_of_anguish]

[ Someone definitely just got a headline story right there. He kissed her back, holding the cigarette out of the way. Only pulling back enough to glare towards the kitchen. ]

Hold your breath as we leave, we're not paying.

[ Pulling one of his toxin despensors out. He's sure someone got a picture and like hell is that cool. It's likely already on Twitter though.]

[revmeup]

That sounds unnecessarily dramatic, and I love it.

[ She clamped her hand over her nose and mouth and winked at him before beating it for the street. ]