revmeup | call me out

((from here))

[ Harley takes her time freshening up at the station and then reads through each and every tourism brochure until Malcolm arrives. It's unlikely they'll leave the bed all weekend once they get started, but she's determined to be the foremost Niagara Falls expert just in case. ]

[ It turns out that Niagra Falls is farther from New York City than he realized. When he gets there, nearly seven hours later, it's the wee hours of the morning. He'd have been more worried about Harley hanging around a train station by herself, but he knows she can kick just about anyone's ass, so he hopes she'll be alright.

He calls her when he's close, telling her to look out for a black Lexus. Malcolm pulls up to the curb and slides down the window, grinning at her. ]

Hello, beautiful.

[ Is that lame? Immediately he thinks that sounded really lame. He had nearly seven hours to work out an opening line and that's what he came up with? ]

[ Harley leans against his car and bends down. She tugs at the collar of her shirt to expose more cleavage. ]

Hey, big boy, you lookin' for a good time?

[ Malcolm laughs and blushes a little as Harley hits on something he's actually slightly worried about. He's in a suit, she's in one of her usual provocative outfits and they're about to check into a very fancy hotel late at night. He honestly won't blame the hotel clerk if they think this is some kind of Pretty Woman situation. Fortunately, it isn't, but he doesn't want to cause Harley any embarrassment.

He gets out of the car and crosses over to help her with her bag. Then, he pulls her in for a kiss, wrapping his arms around her waist. ]

I missed you.

[ Harley is used to going on the run with little notice and starting over with nearly nothing. Her duffel bag isn't even close to full.

She kisses Malcolm back quite happily and runs the fingers of both hands through his hair. ]

You saw me two days ago!

[ She laughs and kisses him again. ]

That's a long time. [ It honestly is, and he honestly missed her.

Malcolm opens the door to the car for her and helps her in before going back to the driver's side. He punches the address of The Giacomo into the car's GPS and then starts to follow the directions of the electronic voice. ]

So why did you pick Niagara Falls?

[ Maybe he's expecting her to have been subconsciously drawn to a cliche honeymoon destination, but the reality is just plain boring. ]

It was the next train out of town.

[ She turns to watch him drive and smiles a little. He really drove up just to see her. God, this man is going to break her heart. ]

[ He nods. ]

I thought about running away a lot when I was a kid. I packed my bag a few times, and I knew how to use the subway because I'd gone on with my father, and I used to go visit Gil in The Bronx that way.

[ Malcolm knew he wouldn't have gotten far though. Jessica - and Gil - would have had the entire NYPD out looking for him, and he was still a naive rich kid who had no street smarts. ]

[ Harley laughs a little. Malcolm had wanted to run away from home, and she'd spent part of her childhood running away to home, for as much home as it was. ]

Where did you want to run away to?

[ If he'd ended up in Brooklyn, she could have found all kinds of trouble for a naive rich kid. ]

[ He laughs a bit. ] I dunno. Just away. Maybe to the beach. Brighton. Coney Island.

[ Malcolm likes the beach. It would have been too far to try to go to The Hamptons, and Jessica probably would have caught him there anyway. ]

Somewhere people didn't know who I was or who my father was. I guess for whatever reason I thought they didn't know him in Brooklyn.

I picturing you in a tiny designer suit with your toys packed in a briefcase. I love it. Maybe I should hit up your mom for baby pictures.

[ It's a truly terrifying idea, so she's mostly joking. ]

If you had run away to Brooklyn maybe we'd have bumped into each other. God, can you imagine? I'd have been such a bad influence.

Please do not do that. [ Mostly because Jessica would probably provide them and Malcolm would be mortified. At least if there's any positive, he looks really happy in pictures before age 10. After that, there's a noticeable difference in his demeanor. ]

You probably would have, but I probably would have liked it.

[ They pull into the hotel parking lot and Malcolm parks the car. After helping her out, he retrieves both of their bags and they head inside. The receptionist does indeed give them an odd look and Malcolm prays silently that they don't get a cop knocking on their door in an hour or so.

They're in a two room suite, though the master bedroom has two queen beds so they can still stay in the same room, so long as she can sleep through his night terrors. Everything is fancy, though it's pretty standard for Malcolm. ]

I'm going to have to figure out how to rig up my restraints.

[ Harley sees the look the receptionist gives them, knows exactly what it means, and wiggles her eyebrows with a cheeky grin during check in. She looks back over her shoulder as they head up to their room, making eye contact as she squeezes Malcolm's ass.

When they reach their room, she drops her bag on the closest bag and unzips it. ]

Guess who already thought of that and found the local fetish store before you showed up.

[ She pulls a set of travel restraint straps out of her bag. They aren't as heavy duty as his home set, but they aren't exactly equipped to bolt anything to the beds here. ]

[ Malcolm blushes when she grabs his ass. ]

Harley, don't take this the wrong way... but I don't want the receptionist to take us the wrong way. That might ruin our evening. [ As a cop at the hotel room door would be wont to do.

He blinks at the restraints she so casually pulls out of her bag. Nope, why would anyone think this was a prostitution thing going on between them? ]

Wow. Are they quick release?

[ Malcolm has to be able to get out of them. That's a big thing. He can't feel trapped or he's going to feel trapped in the nightmare. ]

[ Harley rolls her eyes at his protest. ]

Oh please, as if there's not already a sex worker on every floor. [ She flashes him a smile and a wink. ] And besides, you kinda get off on slumming it with me on your arm.

[ Harley squints at the restraint packaging. ] Mm, I think so? [ She tosses the box to him so he can check for himself. ]

The high-priced escort type, maybe. You could definitely pass for that. [ He smiles and then his eyes get wide when he realizes what he just said. ] Uh.. I meant that with all due respect. [ He's definitely not trying to call her a sex worker.

Malcolm opens the box and pulls out the restraints. They do have a self-release tab, which is kind of surprising to him, but he guesses that's a good function to have even in sexual play. They're pretty sturdy too. Hopefully he won't break the bed. He starts to fasten them around the slats in the headboard. ]

[ Harley raises a brow when he says she could pass for a high class escort (no way, is he blind?), and laughs out loud when he tries to double back. ]

In that case, I'll send you an invoice!

[ She sprawls on the other bed and watches Malcolm set up the restraint system with a fond smile on her face. ]

You know, you are way too good for me.

[ Which is kind of a weird thing to say to the guy who just indirectly said she'd be a successful sex worker, but hell, it's true. ]

[ What he really meant was if she was a sex worker, she'd be the high-priced escort kind. It's a compliment? Not really. Malcolm is bad at words sometimes.

Once the restraints seem secure enough, he takes off his jacket and lays it on the bed. Turning back to Harley, he joins her on the other bed, loosening his tie. ]

Why do you think so?

[ Like he's not a gigantic mess with massive issues too? ]

[ Instead of answering right away, Harley grabs his loose tie and pulls him in for a long, slow kiss. ]

Maybe you just got me all mixed up in my feelings because nobody's been so nice to me before you.

[ Malcolm returned the kiss and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him. When she answered, he furrowed his brow. ]

Nobody?

[ Even with his trauma, Malcolm had always had his mother, and Ainsley, and Gil. He couldn't imagine how much worse it would have been if he'd had no one. ]

I want you to know that I'm not just nice to you though. I care about you a lot.

[ If she wan't used to kindness, then maybe she didn't realize that what he felt for her went well beyond basic decency. ]

Almost nobody. They usually give it up after they get what they wanted. Maybe I've got "sucker" written on my forehead.

[ Harley cuddles up to him and presses her face against his neck. She kisses a trail down his throat. ]

I think you really mean that. I just don't totally get why.

[ Just "rotten" on her jawline. He thinks she's anything but.

Malcolm runs his hands through her hair as she lays kisses on his skin. ]

You're funny... you're sweet... you're kind... you're very smart... and you're beautiful. I think those are all great reasons.

[ They both have their own issues, it's true. He doesn't know if he trusts someone enough to give them his heart, and she doesn't feel like she's worthy of being loved. Hopefully they can both work through them together.

He thinks it's sweet how cuddly she is. The hand on her waist moves gently up her back, under her shirt. ]

[ Harley can't help but pull a face when he calls her kind. For a profiler, he's a lousy judge of character. Whatever she did to trick him into having a good opinion of her, she hopes she can keep it up.

A lascivious grin starts to spread over her face as Malcolm's hand moves under her clothes, but it freezes into a grimace before he gets too far. Harley pulls away from him and sits up. ]

As much as us high-end call girls-- [ Yeah, he's not living that one down for a minute. ] -- like to get straight to business, I did spend seven hours on a bus.

[ She stands up and strips as she heads for the luxury bathroom, leaving a trail of clothes in her wake. ] Come join me?

[ He hasn't seen the unkind part of her, not yet at least. She's sassy and teases him sometimes, but that's part of her charm. He wouldn't necessarily call that unkind.

Malcolm pulls his hand away when she makes that face, then sighs deeply at her words, feeling like an idiot. ]

I think what I meant by that was that if you were some kind of sex-worker, you'd be the high-priced kind. The kind men would pay a lot of money to be with-- [ Malcolm, stop talking. ] Okay. I'm sorry. I just... wanted you to know that I didn't mean anything bad by it.

[ He sits up on the bed as he watches her take off her clothes and head to the bathroom. ] Sure. [ He lays his clothes on his bed as he removes them, then wanders after her. ]

[ Harley is leaning over the tub getting the temperature right when he follows her in. She smirks and rises, cradling his face in her hands and kissing him. ]

I know what you meant. But I'm still gonna give you shit about it. [ She kisses him again and turns back to water. ]
That's girlfriend privilege.

[ Girlfriend. That feels so strange to say, but not bad. ]

[ Girlfriend. He likes the sound of it too. ]

I think you just like giving me shit.

[ Malcolm thinks she's absolutely beautiful, even as he watches her do something mundane like fill a bathtub with water. He reaches down and brushes his fingers through her hair. ]

Oh no, he's on to me.

[ Harley smiles and sticks out her tongue at him before turning her face to kiss Malcolm's palm.

There's so much they need to talk about, so many reasons not to give this thing between them a real shot, but for now she just needs to enjoy this moment. Before opening her big mouth and ruining everything, as usual. ]

Do you prefer baths or showers? God, this tub is huge. I think it's as big as my apartment.

[ He laughs quietly at her joke, then wraps his arms around her from behind. This might not work at all, but he wants to try it at least. As much as his mother would probably like for him to settle down with some "nice" girl, that's unlikely to happen. Being normal just isn't in the cards for him. ]

Generally I like showers better, but baths can be very relaxing. Fortunately we've got plenty of space for the two of us.

[ Harley leans into him and covers his hands with her own. She tips her head back to rest against his shoulder and indulges in a rare moment of stillness. She wants to enjoy this while it lasts.

God, she really hopes this lasts. ]

I do love you.

[ Her voice is quiet and even. She feels ... relaxed. Steady. Things she hasn't felt in a while. ]

You don't have to say anything. I just wanted you to hear it in person.

[ It's really nice to hear it in person and it brings a smile to his face. He can't say the words back to her, because he doesn't want to lie to her. Admitting he loves someone isn't easy for him, and it has entirely to do with his own trauma and nothing to do with Harley.

Instead, he tilts her chin up gently and gazes into her eyes before brushing his thumb over her cheekbone. She is absolutely beautiful to him. Malcolm leans in and kisses her slowly, intimately, perhaps in a way that she hasn't been kissed before. He wants to show her that he loves her with actions, even if he can't say the words yet. ]

[ The way he kisses her takes her breath away and sets off butterflies in her stomach. Everything about him is too good for her, but he wants her anyway. He really does. Somehow their broken edges fit together. ]

Oh.

[ It's all she can think to say, and it comes out in such a small voice. She can feel a blush rising up her chest. Harley slides both hands into his hair and kisses the life out of him. ]

[ He thinks he might have broken her there for a second. Malcolm has never seen Harley so tender. He's certainly never seen her blush. She really does love him.

Malcolm returns the kiss with equal abandon, reaching up to undo her pigtails so that he can bury his hands in her hair as well. They may both be broken, but that's what he loves about her. They can be fucked up together and try to do better together. They can support each other. Harley may be the closest person who knows what it's like to be inside of his mind.

His free arm wraps around her waist and he tugs her close to him. He's tried to shy away from acting possessive of her, worried that it would trigger memories of her relationship with Joker. Malcolm wants to be everything Joker wasn't.

The tub is full and they manage to part long enough to get into it. Malcolm rests back against the edge while Harley sits between his legs, facing away from him. He closes his eyes, finally able to relax a bit after an exhausting day. ]

[ Harley slips his arms around her and tips her head against his shoulder. She can feel his heartbeat against her back. She fully exhales, and all her tension leaves with her breath. Malcolm's presence is like an anchor for her, grounding her when she's about to spin out of control.

Harley couldn't say when that started. She hadn't noticed his growing importance in her life and then suddenly he was the center of her emotional orbit.

This is a nearly perfect moment. Shame to ruin it. ]

There's something you need to know.

[ Her fingers trace the backs of his hands. She sucks in a breath. ]

Joker isn't going to just let me go, once he finds out I'm moving on. And he will find out.

[ She does know how to ruin a perfect moment, doesn't she?

Malcolm turns his hands over so that their palms are touching. He laces his fingers with hers and leans forward to kiss her shoulder. For a long moment, he's silent, mulling that over. ]

If he comes, I can deal with him.

[ A small part of Malcolm, the same part that has self-destructive tendencies, thinks it might be interesting to go toe to toe with Joker. ]

No.

[ She goes rigid and squeezes his fingers. ]

No. I will take care of him. Just-- Don't ask me how I do it.

[ The idea of what Joker could do, and how unprepared Malcolm is no matter what he thinks, wrenches her gut. And then again thinking about the things she's going to do to keep Joker out of their lives. ]

But you need... It's only fair you get a chance to back out, because of ... all that baggage.

[ Malcolm freezes along with her. He's surprised by the vehemence of her response, and only slightly worried that she might do something illegal to get rid of Joker if he comes for them. ]

You know I'm trained in various forms of combat, right? [ He might not look like it, but he knows how to use a gun, a knife, hand to hand combat and psychological warfare. All in one unassuming package.

At the mention of baggage, he lets out a laugh. ]

Look who you're talking to about baggage, Harley.

[ Ohhh, she is definitely going to do some very illegal things, Joker or no Joker. That's another awkward conversation for down the line. ]

That's not the kind of fight that's coming. I know, I know you're capable, but can't you let someone else take care of you this time?

[ No, he really can't. That's what he wants to answer, but he at least lets it roll around in his brain for a moment before opening his mouth. ]

That's hard for me. I protect everyone. I want to protect you, even if you probably don't need it.

[ Malcolm rests his chin on her shoulder and wraps an arm around her waist. Time for some depressing introspection. ]

What do you even see in me if I can't help keep you safe?

[ He's essentially made it his life's mission to protect the people around him, especially the ones he cares about. ]

Good dick.

[ The quip is out of her mouth before her brain even registers it. Sometimes she really can't help herself. ]

Malcolm, I'm not with you because I want you to save me.

[ Harley turns to face him. It's a little awkward in a tub, but the luxury bath is big enough to make it work. She holds his face in her hands and kisses him gently. ]

You're a good man. You're good to me. I don't deserve it, and you even think that I do.

[ She presses her forehead against his and trails her fingers down his neck, over his chest. ]

I've been the only one protecting me for my whole life. It's gonna be a while before I figure out how to let someone help.

[ He can't help but smile at that, even as his cheeks redden. Count on Harley to make him laugh and manage to embarrass him in a serious moment.

The fact that she might not need a savior is a hard one for him to swallow. That's who he's always been. Most of his romantic relationships haven't centered around that, but being with Harley just feels like a perfect storm of everything he's good at. He loves her and he can help her. ]

Okay. [ It's going to take some work on his part, but he'll try to back off for her sake. That doesn't mean that he's going to stop caring or stop trying to help her, but he'll maybe try to not be so zealous about it. It's honestly going to be a bit difficult for him. ]

[ Harley kisses him again before unwrapping the free bar of soap provided by the hotel. She brings it to a lather between her hands and starts to soap up his skin. ]

I want to let you in. I just don't remember how to open the door yet, you know?

[ If anyone can understand that feeling, it's Malcolm. ]

We'll figure it out. We've been doing pretty good so far and we haven't been trying.

[ He nods, because he does understand. Malcolm lays back against the edge of the tub, his eyes closed as she rubs her hands over him. ]

Relationships are difficult, but I want one with you.

[ For all their problems and reasons why a relationship might never work, he still wants to try. He's never met someone like Harley, someone who could not only understand his demons but could also cope with them. ]

[ Harley sees him relax and smiles in a soft way she only does when she thinks nobody is watching. She washes herself quickly, because she can't wait to get her hands on him again. ]

And what else do you want with me?

[ There's an edge of mischief in her voice and her hands slip under the water to drag her nails lightly over his thighs. ]

[ He smiles and opens his eyes a crack when he feels her hands moving over his thighs. ]

A blowjob?

[ If she's going to use that mischievous tone, then he's going to respond mischievously. ]

When we get out. I don't want you to drown. Besides, I won't be able to watch you if your head's under the water.

[ Harley laughs against his neck and trails light kisses across his skin. ]

Thanks for the consideration. I don't want to drown either.

[ Her fingers curl loosely around the base of his cock while she kisses him slow and deep. ]

[ He moans low in his throat as he kisses her, taking his time to taste her mouth while she touches him. Just that gentle stimulation has him hard and ready to go for her.

His fingers drift up her side until he's cupping one of her breasts, his thumb brushing over her nipple. ]

[ Harley sighs into their kiss at his hand on her breast, and her own hand moves in slow even strokes up and down his erection. ]

Malcolm...

[ She whispers his name just for the pleasure of saying it. Not long ago, she wanted nothing more than a long soak in the tub together. Now she can't wait to get out. ]

[ Part of him hates to move, but another part of him knows that better things will be in store if they get up. The way she says his name sends a spark of electricity down his spine. After continuing to kiss her for another moment, he reluctantly pulls her hand away from him.

They get out of the tub and help dry each other off, Malcolm rubbing her wet hair until it's not dripping anymore. Once they're sufficiently dry, he scoops her up in a bridal hold and carries her back to the bedroom.

After placing her on the bed, he joins her, laying on his side and pulling her close again. ]

So was that a yes to the blowjob request? [ He gives her an innocent smile. Harley has to know that he will return the favor twofold. ]

[ Harley lets him take the lead, but can't resist sneaking in kisses and teasing touches whenever she can. He has a fresh hickey at the base of his neck by the time they reach the bed. It's juvenile, but immensely satisfying to leave a mark on him without having to worry about their arrangement being noticed. ]

That's a yes.

[ She kisses him, and pushes him onto his back as she does. ]

To anything you want.

[ Her path down his body is agonizingly slow as she explores and teases and worships in ways she never let herself indulge before. Malcolm is hers now, and she's going to show him what that means. ]

[ The hickey will at least be covered by his dress shirts, so nobody at work can tease him about it. They know he's seeing someone, especially because he had to tell Gil why he had to run off so quickly tonight, but so far he's kept his private life private when it comes to Harley. He expects there will be questions when he gets back to the city.

Not that he's worried about it right now. ]

Anything? Sounds like a dangerous promise to make.

[ Malcolm digs his fingers in Harley's hair as she makes her way over and down his chest. Her lips and tongue feel absolutely delightful on him, even as his cock begs for more attention. She'll find a number of scars on his chest and abdomen, most prominently the place on his side where Watkins stabbed him. The stitches have been removed, but he'll always have the discolored patch of skin as a souvenir. ]

Dangerous for who?

[ Malcolm's fingers in her hair send a jolt straight between her thighs, but she keeps her slow deliberate pace. Harley doesn't kill the mood by asking about his scars, but she does linger over the newest ones with gentle kisses and light touches.

When she finally, finally reaches her goal she meets his eyes as her tongue presses against the head of his cock. She closes her lips around him and eases his length down her throat. ]

Edited 2020-05-07 01:10 (UTC)

You. [ He shrugs. ] But maybe not. [ There's not much off limits for Harley and Malcolm is relatively vanilla by comparison.

Malcolm keeps his hand in her hair, tugging gently and keeping up that tension. He knows she loves it. Scars are welcome to be kissed, and he'd talk about them if she asked, but he's fine with not breaking the mood. She's teased him long enough anyway.

He watches her press her tongue to his cock, a soft moan escaping his lips. Malcolm has waited so patiently, and God it's always worth it with her. He doesn't think he's seen anything hotter than the way she can take his entire cock in her mouth so easily. ]

Fuck, Harley...

[ Harley takes him all the way in and holds him there for as long as she can, and then pulls off with a gasp. ]

That's exactly right. Fuck Harley.

[ She runs the flat of her tongue up the length of him and takes him in her mouth again. She wraps her hand around the base of his cock and strokes him in time with the bobbing of her head. The entire time she keeps her eyes locked on his face, soaking in every microexpression. ]

[ Malcolm watches her, his blue eyes glowing electric with want. It's all he can do to control himself and not fuck her beautiful mouth. His hips still move involuntarily up against her, his fingers twined tightly in her hair.

He moans, unrestrained, as his cock throbs in her mouth. With the way she teased him and made him wait, he doesn't anticipate lasting very long. ]

[ Harley moans her own pleasure when his hips move up, sending vibrations through his cock. He's trying not to fuck her mouth but that's exactly what she wants him to do. All she can do is beg him with her eyes, and hope he trusts her to know her limits. ]

[ He knows what she wants, and is kind of amazed that she wants it. His eyes meet hers. They've been together enough times that they both understand each other's bodies. Malcolm thinks he can let go without hurting her.

He thrusts his hips up slowly, pushing his cock further back into her throat. It feels so goddamn good and he moans even more loudly this time. ]

Fuck...

[ Malcolm's eyes slide closed in ecstasy. ]

[ Harley hums low in her throat as he fucks into her mouth, to let him know she's okay and because she knows it will feel amazing. She takes her hand away from his cock and works his length with her only mouth and throat. Her lips stay tight around him.

With one arm bracing herself on the mattress and her hand free, she reaches between her thighs to take care of her own building need. Taking care of him got her wet enough to easily slip in two fingers, which she curls just so while rocking her palm against her clit. ]

[ The vibrations around his cock leave him practically trembling for her. When he sees her reach down between her legs, he knows he's not going to last much longer. Watching her touch herself is one of the hottest things he's ever seen.

His eyes meet hers as his body tenses. They've done this enough times that Harley knows his tells before he's about to come. The muscles in his legs seize and his head falls back as he lets go. ]

Harley!

[ His moan when he comes is one of feral pleasure, a sound that only Harley has ever heard. No woman has ever made him come as hard as she has. He pushes in as far as he can and tugs at her hair as he releases in her mouth, hips continuing to buck against her face. ]

[ Harley's eyes water as he thrusts into her throat and she blinks them clear so she can watch his face when he orgasms. Malcolm is always achingly handsome but she might love this expression the most, because she's the only one who gets to see it.

Her fingers are working at a frenzied pace inside herself, trying desperately to catch up with him. When he finally lets go and she feels that hot burst hit the back of her throat, it's all she can do to keep swallowing while her own orgasm pushes her over the edge with him.

When he's finished, when they both are, her thighs are still shaking and her breath comes in heaving gasps. Her face is wet with tears and sweat and saliva. She knows she's a mess but she feels too good to care. ]

Worth a seven hour drive?

[ Malcolm lays panting on the bed, a thin sheen of sweat covering his body. He gives her a lazy, satisfied grin and pulls her up onto the bed next to him. Harley's a mess, and of course he briefly wonders if he hurt her, but there's a smile on her face. She loved it as much as he did. ]

You're worth any drive.

[ He kisses her unabashedly, cupping her face and holding her close to him. Malcolm only lets go when they have to breathe again. ]

Did you finish? I wanted to watch you touch yourself.

[ He's normally not so blunt with his desires, but maybe it's the huge dose of dopamine he just got that's making him lose all of his inhibitions. ]

[ Harley laughs breathlessly and runs her slick fingertips across his lips. ]

I can go again.

[ She slides one arm around his shoulders to hold him close. With her other hand she reaches between her legs again and begins with soft teasing strokes over her wet folds. ]

You sure you just want to watch?

[ Malcolm licks at her fingers when she puts them to his lips. Despite just coming, the sight of her with her hand between her legs lights him up in every way possible. ]

For now.

[ He grins at her, then turns his gaze downward so that he can watch her, his eyes already starting to glaze over with lust. ]

[ Harley keeps her touch light and it's still enough to make her arch off the bed, but part of that is from the way he's looking at her. She knows that look well, and everything it promises makes her breath catch.

Her mouth hangs open and she licks her lips when their eyes meet. The hand pressed between his shoulders slides up to the back of his neck to pull him in for a desperate, messy kiss. ]

Ohh fuck. This isn't gonna take long.

[ Malcolm hates to take his eyes off what she's doing, but he kisses her, nibbling at her lower lip. He could let her finish herself off, knowing that he would probably still be able to make her come again, but he doesn't want to overwhelm her. Reaching down, he pulls her hand from between her legs and brings it to his mouth, sucking the juices off of her fingers.

He flips them so that her back is on the bed and he moves between her legs. After kissing a trail down her chest, he puts her legs up over his shoulders, spreading them open so that he can get down between them. ]

Malcolm, Malcolm...

[ Harley's fingers tangle in his hair and she babbles helplessly as he kisses a trail down her body. Begging, praising, pleading for what he's already giving her. Her legs part for him easily and her heels dig into his back. Her hips raise to meet his mouth. ]

[ His name from her lips in that tone goes straight to his cock. Fortunately, he feels like he can wait a bit longer before needing some satisfaction. Satisfying her is almost equally satisfying for him.

He puts his hands on the small of her back and lifts her hips up the rest of the way to his mouth. Malcolm presses his mouth against her and lets out a little moan, a thirsty man finally being given a drink. He doesn't tease; immediately his tongue finds her clit and begins flicking it back and forth. ]

[ Harley cries out, nearly a scream of pleasure, and bucks up against his tongue. Every muscle in her legs is straining. Her hands twist the blankets in a white-knuckled grip. Everything he does is too much and not enough. She doesn't even try to hold back the rush of orgasm. Malcolm always gives her more than she asks for. ]

[ They'll probably end up waking up half of the hotel, but whatever. Malcolm will deal with it if they get told to keep it down. For now, he's going to savor every noise of pleasure that she makes.

He turns his eyes towards hers as she comes, loving the way her body twists in pleasure. It was a quick orgasm, so Malcolm keeps lapping at the wetness in front of him. He hasn't had his fill of her yet, though he knows she's sensitive, so he avoids her clit and focuses on her folds. ]

[ All the tension in Harley's body fades away and she practically melts under him. There's a tremble in her thighs from two strong orgasms back to back, and although Malcolm is trying not to overwhelm her she still whimpers and moans at every pass of his tongue. ]

God. Fuck. You really are a fucking pussy vampire.

[ He doesn't answer for a moment as he finishes tasting her, ending with a gentle kiss to her clit. ]

How can I not be when you react like that?

[ Malcolm loves making her come that way. It leaves both of them a mess in different ways. He licks at his lips as he puts her back down on the bed. She needs a minute and that's fine with him. He's half-hard already, but he can be patient.

Leaning over, he pulls his overnight bag closer and retrieves the box of condoms inside. It had been easier to just bring the whole box than to try to guess how many times they might have sex.

Malcolm lays on his side next to her, kissing her and brushing back her hair. ]

Did I mention how beautiful you are?

[ Harley is still catching her breath when he kisses her and takes it away again. She feels dizzy with happiness, and a little fuck drunk. ]

I don't mind hearing it again.

[ Her smile is a little crooked as she draws invisible patterns over his skin with her fingers. ]

Should we get the restraints set up now, before we wear each other out completely?

[ He hums in his throat. ] Probably. I just don't want to move.

[ Reluctantly, Malcolm gets up and makes his way over to the other bed, where he's left the restraints sitting. They're definitely not the same strength as his back home, but he hopes that they'll at least keep him safe enough. He's going to hope for such total exhaustion that his night terrors won't be so bad.

After connecting the leads to the headboard, Malcolm gets his cuffs out of the suitcase and fits them onto the ends. ] This should work. [ He should be able to thumb the quick release, just like he does at home. ]

[ Harley hates to see him go but loves to watch him leave. She rolls on her side to watch his bare ass with a huge feeling of smug satisfaction.

As he finishes up, she slides her arms around him from behind and kisses his shoulder. ]

I had a thought. Fuck me against the window?

[ Their floor is high enough that nobody should have a direct line of sight, and barely anyone else would be awake at this hour except other couples doing the exact same thing. ]

[ He glances over his shoulder at her. ] You sure?

[ Malcolm agrees that they're probably safe from too many prying eyes. The idea of it is very appealing, the more he thinks about it. He turns around, wrapping his arms around her waist. ]

Maybe I don't want the rest of the world to see how beautiful you are though. Maybe I just want you for myself.

[ He's playing around... at least a little bit. Malcolm does want her for himself, but he knows he might not have any right to that. ]

[ Harley splays her fingers across his chest and scratches lightly with her nails. ]

Mm, you're right. We'd better play it safe. Stick to conference tables in busy police precincts.

[ That earns a smile because, like it or not, that conference table had been their first time. ]

I closed all the blinds at least. [ He reaches down to pull a condom from the box and put it on. ] Besides, you seduced me.

[ She'd been blunt about what she wanted and he had uncharacteristically given in to his urges. Harley had not made it easy for him. It was hard for him to say no to her, a woman he'd found immensely attractive ever since they met.

He gathers her close as they start to move across the room towards the windows. ]

Seduced you? [ Harley laughs and bites at his lip as he walks her backward toward the window. ] I barely had to try. You were so into it.

[ She sighs happily and reaches down to curl her fingers around his cock. ]

I really thought that was a one night stand kinda thing. Who'da thought it?

I was. How could I not be with a hot woman throwing herself at me? I'm but a mere man.

[ She was persistent and he was curious. At the end of the day, he didn't regret it one bit. It'd been the best sex he'd had... possibly ever. ]

I knew you'd be back for more. [ He's teasing, grinning as her back is now to the window. ] Do you want to be like this or do you want me to turn you around?

Of course you knew, Mister Profiler.

[ The glass is cool against her skin and she shivers a little, at least partly from anticipation. ]

I want to watch your face. I want to kiss you.

It wasn't even a profiler thing. Just... a gut feeling. [ What they had was more than just sex and he could already tell. He liked her for more than just her body.

Malcolm lifts her up and urges her to wrap her legs around his waist, then pushes her gently back against the glass for leverage. ]

I think you're a romantic, Harley. [ He smiles at her as he shifts her so that he can slide into her, letting out a low moan as he does. Malcolm tilts his chin up silently asking for her to lean down and kiss him. ]

An incurable romantic. [ She crosses her ankles behind him and dips her head to brush her lips lightly against his. ] Don't go spreading it around and ruinin' my rep. [ She teases his lips apart with her tongue and tugs his hair to tip his head back more so she can kiss him as deeply as she wants. ]

Your secret's safe with me. [ He murmurs it against her lips, then lets her explore his mouth, his tongue dancing against hers. They pull back for breath, Malcolm pushing her more urgently against the glass as he thrusts up into her. ] You deserve romance.

[ She deserves whatever she wants, according to him, but that's just his emotions talking. When he's got his cock buried deep inside her, he wants to give her everything. ]

[ She deserves romance as long as he doesn't have to say the words, but it would be cruel to needle him about that right now. She bites her lip and lets her head fall back agains the window glass with a gentle thud when he enters her. ]

Is this how you're gonna woo me, Malcolm?

By fucking you against a window? [ He smiles against the skin of her neck. ] I think I can do better than that. [ Right now he's a little distracted though.

Malcolm hikes her up a bit, still using her back against the window as leverage. Her body is now at the perfect height for him to kiss her breasts. He sucks at the skin between them before kissing over to one of her nipples and taking it in his mouth. ]

Oh? By all means...

[ Harley moans as his lips move across her skin. She arches her back, pushing her breast to his mouth. Between his body and the window, she doesn't have full range of movement but she uses what leverage she has to roll her hips against him. ]

Show me what you've got.

[ Malcolm pulls back from her breast so that he can speak. ] Depends on whether you mean this round or not. I can take you over to the bed and make love to you...

[ He's got a pretty good pace going now, so he's loathe to stop, but he would if she asked him to. As much as he enjoys their wilder sex, the two of them haven't really made love yet. Malcolm wonders if it's something she's ever done. ]

Or we can wait until next time. [ He presses kisses down her breastbone while she thinks about that, if she can even think right now. Malcolm pumps faster into her as his pleasure builds. They might reach a point where they'll have to wait until next time regardless. ]

[ If she weren't so wonderfully distracted at the moment, Harley would scoff at his suggestion to make love when he already said he doesn't love her (yet, yet). She might even get defensive and pick a fight, because she's especially vulnerable and open being the first one to say the words. But Malcolm is doing a great job keeping her attention strictly on the physical, so she barely registers what he says.

She only picks up that he suggested doing something other than exactly what is already happening and whines in protest. ]

If you stop for even a second I swear to God I'll never forgive you.

[ Harley watches him with her eyes half closed and glazed with lust. He's so beautiful, she could look at him all night. ]

Almost there, baby. Use your teeth? Please?

[ He's glad this is so distracting then, because he doesn't want to fight with her. His feelings are because of his own shit, not her. Deep down, he knows he loves her. She probably knows it too. Malcolm just can't say it yet. ]

A little harsh... [ He grins up at her, his eyes equally glazed over. She looks so good when she's in pleasure.

When she asks for his teeth, Malcolm nips at the soft skin of her breast, giving her little bites across it until he reaches the nipple. He takes it into his mouth, sucking it and rolling it between his teeth, before tugging on it. ]

[ Harley's lashes flutter closed and she moans low and long as he works her nipple between his teeth. He's more gentle than she's used to, but so thorough with his attentions that she doesn't need to push for more.

She turns her head and presses her cheek to the glass. If she focuses on the skyline and distant lights below, she can nearly imagine they're flying. It's dizzying and thrilling, and she wouldn't care who saw them now.

She glances back at him and the sight of him flushed with her breast in his mouth, her pale skin dotted with marks from his teeth, makes her come harder and faster than she expected and she cries out in a mix of pleasure and surprise. Her palms press against the glass and she uses the leverage to ride him through her orgasm. ]

[ The marks won't stay long, but they're in a place that the public won't see anyway. He kind of likes the idea of marking her as his, so he bites down a little bit harder as she starts to come.

His vantage point isn't as unique as hers, though he'll never complain about being this close to her breasts. She squeezes tightly around his cock, every desperate moan of hers bringing him closer and closer. Malcolm pulls back to breathe, his eyes meeting hers for a split second. ]

Harley...

[ That tightness around him is too much and his hips buck her up against the glass as he comes. Looking up, he's able to see the skyline now and know that feeling of flying like she had. It's like he might never come down. ]

Oh god, oh my god!

[ She writhes on his cock as he fucks into her, tears squeezing from the corner of her eyes from the intensity of sensation. Her third orgasm of the night drains all her strength and she's left clinging to him to keep from slipping down the glass. She trusts him to hold her, keep her safe. ]

[ Malcolm does come down though, when he feels her sink in his arms. He becomes aware enough to catch her so that she doesn't slide down the glass. ]

Wrap your legs around me.

[ Once she's secure and he's caught his breath, Malcolm carries her back to the bed, where he lays her down. He kisses up her chest and neck until he reaches her lips. ]

[ Harley does as she's told. She's always more compliant after an orgasm, and after three it's pretty much a guarantee she'll do anything he asks for the rest of the night.

She's quiet as she watches him kiss his way to her lips, except for the sound of catching her breath. Her fingers slide into his hair and she parts his lips gently with her tongue. ]

[ He scoots her over, then lays down on his side next to her. They kiss for a long moment before both of them need to take a breath. Malcolm's honestly as exhausted as she is. Driving seven hours through the night took it out of him.

He brushes her hair back as he gazes into her eyes. ] Hey...

Hey.

[ She smiles up at him and runs her fingers over his perfect jawline. ]

You're so pretty.

So are you. [ His lips quirk up in a smile. ] You're beautiful, Harley.

[ Malcolm wonders how often she's been told that. She is quite conventionally pretty, and before everything happened with Joker, she probably heard it quite often. How many people meant it though? How many people just thought she was hot and were trying to get her into bed? How many people actually thought everything about her was beautiful and not just her face? ]

I know.

[ And she knows that when he says it he means more than how she looks. Malcolm cares about the whole package, and genuinely thinks she's a catch. ]

But it's still nice to hear.

[ He laughs quietly at her bright response and kisses her again. ]

I'm exhausted. Maybe I'll actually sleep without being woken up in the middle of the night. Maybe that's the secret - really hot, vigorous sex every night so that I'm completed drained.

[ Malcolm kind of doubts it will help, but a guy can dream. ]

[ Harley laughs and throws her arms around him. ]

If that's what it takes, I'm willing to administer treatment.

[ She kisses him on the nose. ]

But driving for hours might have played a part too.

Thank you, Dr. Quinzel. That's very generous of you. [ He smiles at the kiss on his nose. ] It probably did, especially because I'm not used to driving.

[ He kisses her temple, then yawns as he stands and tries to locate his underwear on the floor. ]

I wonder if there's anything to sight-see in Niagra Falls other than the falls itself.

[ Harley props herself up on her elbows to enjoy watching him walk around naked. She's a lucky, lucky girl. ]

Mm, there's a few casinos. Wineries. Shopping. The usual tourist stuff. You into any of that?

[ She stands up and stretches, before heading into the bathroom to wash her face. ]

[ He slips on his boxers and thinks that he's pretty lucky too as he watches her go into the bathroom. ]

A winery could be nice...

[ Malcolm lays down on his bed and opens his phone, putting in a Google search for things to do in Niagra Falls. After a few minutes, he lets out a laugh and calls out to Harley. ]

Hey, we can visit Love Canal, the site of one of the worst environmental disasters ever.

[ Her laugh echoes in the bathroom and she calls back over the running water.]

We can have a picnic in our hazmat suits!

[ She finishes up and comes back out, sitting on the edge of his bed.]

What could be more romantic?

Totally romantic. And we really could have a picnic. It's basically a fenced off field now. [ He holds up his phone to show her the picture. ] And really, how much more damage could chemical waste do to either of us at this point?

[ He puts one of his feet in her lap. ]

Edited 2020-06-02 03:44 (UTC)

[ Harley runs her fingers down his calf and massages his foot when she reaches it. ]

Hair loss, peripheral neuropathy, general yucky feelings.

[ She pinches his little toe and smirks. ]

But hey, a little environmental toxin could really spice things up!

[ He smiles when she starts massaging his foot. Damn that feels good. ]

Nothing like a little dioxin to make for a romantic date. Hair loss might be a problem though. That's one of my best features.

[ Malcolm puts his phone down and leans back against his pillow, gazing at her. ]

I'm glad I came.

[ She can't stop the snort of laughter or the look of lecherous glee on her face. ]

I'm glad I came too.

[ He rolls his eyes, but laughs. She's too much. ]

I'm glad I made you come. [ Malcolm licks his lips, still able to taste her on his mouth. He holds up one of his restraints. ] Want to cuff me to the bed?

Oh baby, do I ever. [ She wiggles her eyebrows cartoonishly at him, but they are both too tired for her to push the innuendo further. Instead, she leans over and closes the straps on his wrists. ]

How's that? Not too tight?

[ He tests it and he still has some range of motion with his wrist, which he wants. ]

That's good. Thanks. [ The leads are shorter than his ones back home, but he'll make this work. ]

If I wake you up in the middle of the night, I apologize in advance.

[ It's not that many hours until dawn, but he doubts he'll sleep for too long anyway. ]

It's fine. I'm used to screams. [ Arkham wasn't exactly a chill place, even in the small hours of the night.

Harley kisses him sweetly for a long moment. It's very tempting to stay in bed next to him, but she doesn't want to push her luck. She turns off the light and curls up alone in the other bed.

She wants to tell him she loves him again, but after spending so much time saying it to Joker with nothing in return... Well, doing it a second time feels ... Pathetic. Malcolm isn't that man, but she doesn't want to be that woman again. ]

[ Malcolm reaches up with both hands to cup her head and is annoyed when they don't reach because of the restraints. Moving a bit, he's able to at least get one on her face. He smiles at her when she pulls away. ]

Good night.

[ It's not her, as cliche as that is. Malcolm also doesn't want to lie to her and tell her that he loves her when he doesn't feel it yet. He hopes that he's showing her what he feels for her, much better than Joker ever did. ]

(( set after this ))

Harley spends the day in a foul mood after their conversation. Even if she knows Malcolm didn't mean to piss her off, she still can't stop stewing over the implication that she needs to be fixed up before she's fit for decent company.

It's nothing she didn't already know, but it still stings.

She's still in a snit when he calls to let her know he's home, and takes her sweet time actually making her way over. When she comes in, she ignores her poor boyfriend and gives Sunshine kisses instead.

Edited 2020-05-04 17:11 (UTC)

Malcolm knows she's hurt, and in his heart of hearts he can't blame her for it, even if he didn't mean to be hurtful by anything that he said. Surely she knows exactly what he means by her needing a bit of polishing before meeting his mother. He wants his mother to like her, which means she needs to make a good first impression, both visually and conversationally. He knows they can do that without changing too much of who Harley really is, especially because he likes who Harley is.

It takes her a while to get to his apartment after he calls, and he's briefly worried that something has happened to her before she finally shows up. When she goes right for Sunshine, Malcolm rolls his eyes. Sunshine eats it up though, nipping playfully at Harley's fingers and chirping at her.

Malcolm wanders off to the kitchen to pour them some drinks. "You know," he says, "the silent treatment is a form of passive-aggressive manipulative punishment. It actually started as a real treatment in prisons back in the 1800s. The theory was that if prisoners were subjected to silence it would encourage them to reflect on their crimes."

If she's going to go silent on him, he's going to go textbook on her. Malcolm can be a little bitch sometimes and can't resist being sassy when it's called for.

Harley goes right on cooing sweet nothings to one bird as she flips another his way. "Look at that, babygirl. Your daddy just knows everything, don't he?" She shoots him an arch look as she gives Sunshine one more smooch before heading over to sprawl across his couch.

She's wearing one of her more scandalous outfits, and it was absolutely picked out as a "fuck you" to this whole polished thing.

He smiles when she flips him off. "Well, I don't know about everything, but..."

The outfit shows off a lot of parts of her that Malcolm happens to find really nice. He realizes that he's a hypocrite in thinking that she looks amazing like this but also wanting to make her look a bit more conservative in order to meet his mother. Maybe that's not so strange though.

Malcolm hands Harley her glass before he lifts her legs and sits down on the couch, placing them back down in his lap. "You look beautiful." Definitely not a lie. He runs his fingers up one of her calves.

Harley takes a sip and sets the glass down on the table. She moves her legs off his lap and sits up to cross them primly.

"Tryna butter me up before you tell me all the ways I'm not good enough for the brunch crowd?"

"No," he says, "just stating facts. And I never said you weren't good enough. I said we needed a plan so that we can make a good first impression on my mother. Do you know how important a first impression is psychologically?"

Very important. Malcolm wants his mother to at least accept her, even if she doesn't like her at first. Harley's in his life and she's not going anywhere, so they need to be able to at least tolerate each other.

Harley can't help but roll her eyes and reaches for her drink again.

"Now how would I know anything about psychology?" She loved that Malcolm never treated her like an idiot, but apparently even he wasn't immune to the curse of forgetting the hot slutty blonde has a motherfucking PhD.

So maybe she's a little bitter about a lifetime of microaggressions and lashing out more than necessary under the convenient pretext of their current "disagreement." Maybe.

"Go on, tell me your grand plan. Do you have a bullet point list? Is there a slideshow?"

He holds hands up as a mea culpa. In his defense, Malcolm explains psychology to everyone. It's one of the things people find annoying about him.

"No, I didn't have time," he shoots back. "So the first thing we should think about is what you're going to wear. Do you have anything business casual or dressy but not too revealing?"

Basically not what she's got on at the moment. Not that she has much on at the moment.

Harley scoffs. Anything she has that covers more than it reveals is also mostly sequin, and the only business-y clothing she has is a jacket stolen from him. Plus, it's not like Jessica can unsee Harley's underwear.

Change the top layer all he likes, they'll all know what's going on underneath. How's that for a metaphor?

"I can figure something out."

"Or a sweater with a nice pair of jeans," he tells her. "That could work too. We can go shopping if you don't have anything like that."

A sweater and jeans might work well for her. They might be able to find something in her aesthetic that's still appropriate for brunch.

"Alright," Harley agrees with some reluctance, "but only because I like spending other people's money."

She swings her legs up and stretches them across his lap again, so she had at least been a little bit appeased.

"What next? Hide my accent, dye my hair, laser tattoo removal? Lay it on me, babe."

He'll take that. He's probably going to come out of this several thousand dollars poorer, but if she looks good and makes a good impression on his mother, then it's worth it.

Malcolm rests his free hand on her legs again and takes another sip of his drink. "Your accent and hair are fine." He sees zero problem with them and his mother will get over them. "The tattoos are... there's not much we can do about them. Laser removal is up to you, but that won't be happening before brunch anyway."

Depending on what they pick out, most of her tattoos will probably be covered anyway. The ones on her face... aren't great, but they are what they are. Malcolm has debated broaching the topic of having some of her tattoos removed, if she wants to do that, but he's on thin ice right now and he doesn't trust it to not come out as a judgement. Therefore, he's steering clear of that topic for now.

"We should probably discuss what you're going to answer to some of the questions that she will inevitably ask you."

Harley tenses in that pause as he considers her tattoos, so leaving that topic off the table was absolutely the correct instinct. She takes a large sip of her drink and tries very, very hard not to make too much of a sour face.

The things a bitch does for love.

"Fine. What questions?"

He notes her body language. Dodged a bullet with that one. For the record, he doesn't mind her tattoos. He just knows that a lot of them are related to Joker, and he isn't sure if she still has them because she wants them or if it's because tattoo removal is a long and costly process. Malcolm is willing to help her with that if it's something she wants.

"Let's start with 'What do you do for a living?'," he says. One question at a time and they can talk about her answers.

"These days?"

Harley swings her legs down again to plant her feet on the floor. She sets her elbows on her knees and leans forward with a shit eating grin.

"Your son."

Did Malcolm really think this would ever be easy?

It's going to be a long night.

"Yeah, that's definitely not what you're going to tell her, especially not with my sister there too." Malcolm is pleased that Ainsley is going to be joining them. She'll be a buffer. He figures that Harley and Ainsley will get along pretty well. His sister isn't as uptight as his mother.

"Are you doing anything for work right now?" he asks.

Fuck him, that was funny. Harley huffs and tries to think of any possible way to describe what she does that will be sanitized enough to pass this stupid test.

"I'm..." She spins her hands in the air, as if she can grab the right answer. "Freelancing? Between gigs. At the moment."

Malcolm rests his head back against the couch and sighs gently.

"Honestly, most of the women she's tried to hook me up with are trust fund kids who don't have jobs either, so if she says anything, I'm definitely going to bring that up." He turns his head to look at Harley. "What do you technically do? Please tell me you're not technically a criminal."

Harley laughs. She can't help it. This whole thing is so ridiculous.

"It's a little late in the game to start worrying about that, don't you think?"

Has he really never wondered about this before? What kind of job does he think she could get with her history anyway?

"Oh, God, you are, aren't you?" Some profiler. Not that he didn't know she was a criminal, he just didn't think she was active any more. "Please don't do something that gets you sent to prison."

He's gone off topic now, but being without her would really mess him up. Not being able to see her or hold her. He already hated visiting his father in prison. He didn't want to have to visit her too.

"Awww Malcolm," Harley coos, realizing he really didn't know. She'd never hid it, but he'd never asked before. "You're supposed to be good at your job!"

She sets her drink on the table so she can take his face in her hands and kiss his cheek. Her fingertips are cold from the glass.

"I'm... selective with the jobs I take. No hits, no weapons deals, none a' that shit. I don't want to get my ass thrown behind bars either, you know? But I mean, what else am I gonna do? Who'd hire this hot mess for anything legit?"

"I am good at my job," he mumbles. Deep down, he'd known what she was doing, though he was hoping that she was at least trying to keep her nose clean. The fact that she's not killing anyone or committing any violent crime is at least a plus.

"You have a PhD in Psychology," Malcolm says. "I can understand it might be hard to work with patients again, but you could probably find something in research."

Harley sighs heavily and gets up. Sure, he's got trauma out the wazoo, but Malcolm is still wildly blessed with privilege. Of course he thinks starting over after burning your professional career to the ground is easy. He did it with the FBI and the NYPD handed him his dream job on a gold platter.

"No decent gig is going to have me, Malcolm. I mean, fuck, how do you think the world works?"

Malcolm watches her get up and pace. "Why not? You're smart, you're good. You've made mistakes, but lots of people have. You'd be an asset to a research facility. They'd be stupid not to have you."

Apparently he's not drawing the parallel here between Harley's life and his own. It had been nothing for him to start up with the NYPD, thanks to Gil, but he'd also like to think that it's because he's good at his job. The FBI threw away one of the best closers they had. The feds' loss is NYC's gain.

"God, Malcolm!" Harley rounds on him, pinning him to his seat with one knee between his legs and her hands on his shoulders. "It's not. Going. To happen."

Her mouth is pressed into a hard thin line and she squeezes her eyes closed as she tries to keep her shit together. "Let it go, okay?"

Harley slides off his lap to slump next to him with her head in her hands. "Just... give me a list of whatever it is you want me to say and I'll stick to the script."

His eyes widen and he looks up at her when he ends up pinned to the couch. Malcolm isn't really scared of her, even though he knows she can kick his ass.

He takes a long drink of his whiskey when Harley sits down next to him, then gently reaches for one of her hands.

"No," Malcolm says quietly. "I don't want you to have to stick to a script. Just... don't insult her and don't talk about any obvious criminal activity. We'll be fine."

He's realizing that he doesn't want to turn this into a dog and pony show. Harley is who she is and he loves her for that. Either his mother will accept it or she won't.

Harley doesn't look at him, but she squeezes his hand. Her fingers are cold.

"So we're done with rehearsals, Professor Henry Higgins?"

"Yeah," he says. Malcolm brushes a piece of her hair back, then puts his arms around her and pulls her into his lap. "I'm sorry."

He may have a point about her needing polishing - they both know it - but he's being kind of an asshole. Harley knows what she can and can't say in front of his mother. She's not an idiot.

Harley lets him gather her into his arms and curls into him. She takes a deep breath and really looks at him.

"Do you want a woman who brunches and charms moms and does and says all the right things?" Her fingers trace the contours of his cheek. "Because that's not me. That's never gonna be me. You have to know that by now, right?"

Edited 2020-05-10 00:38 (UTC)

He exhales slowly. "I just want everyone to get along," Malcolm says, sure he's sounding like a little boy who wishes his parents wouldn't fight. One big happy family just isn't in the cards for him, is it? "But you're what I want, Harley. You as you are." Malcolm meets her eyes. "I love the person that you are."

That's the first time he's said it and he knows it. Malcolm tenses, waiting to see how she reacts.

Harley goes tense all over. Her eyes are wide and fixed on his face for any sign that he might be joking, like any second now the cameramen will come out hiding and this whole thing was a prank show all along.

"Did you just--"

She swallows hard. Her throat suddenly feels so, so dry.

"Are you just saying that to get out of a fight?"

"What? No. I didn't think we were in a fight anymore." It's not the reaction someone usually has when hearing that their significant other loves them, but maybe it's pretty typical for the two of them. "Of course I love you, Harley. I know it's taken a while for me to say it. I had to be sure, but I've known it for a long time.

As much as he wants to hug her tightly, he keeps his hold loose. She already looks like a deer about to bolt at the first loud noise.

Surprise slowly gives way to amazement across her face. Harley knew he cared, but had never expected to actually hear the words.

She throws her arms around his neck and kisses him deeply. When she has to pull away for breath she keeps her forehead pressed against his.

"Say it again?"

He returns the kiss, opening his mouth and sliding his tongue against hers. His grip on her tightens now, holding her close to him.

Once he's caught his breath, he speaks again. "I love you, Harley Quinn. The two of us fit together so perfectly, I never would have imagined it when we first met. Now I honestly don't know what I'd do without you in my life."

Malcolm bites his lip. "If I call you mine, is that going to trigger anything negative for you?" He wants to make sure. Joker was so obviously possessive of her, and Malcolm has gone out of his way to be the complete and total opposite of him.

Harley's fingers slide into his hair as their tongues entwine. A soft, pleased noise escapes her when he holds her tight.

She looks at him with bright eyes when he confesses his love again, her smile so wide it hurts. Her fingers smooth his hair back, trace his features, trail over his neck. He loves her. He loves her, and she's never been happier.

"I want to be yours. I love you. God, I love you so much, Malcolm. You're never getting rid of me now."

Malcolm laughs and grins at her, his own eyes lighting up at her happiness. "Good thing I don't want to get rid of you." He rests his head on top of hers, nuzzling her hair. "You're mine. You're mine forever. And I'm yours too." He laughs again. "Sorry, I think you got the raw end of that deal."

Putting up with him? Good luck. They both have their issues though. Somehow they still make it work.

"Mine," she says quietly against the side of his neck, sounding awed that she gets to have him. She kisses the soft skin underneath his ear, giving him a brief chance to stop her before she brings teeth into it.

If Malcolm is hers, she wants to mark her property. He can analyze that all he likes some other time.

All hers. He doesn't stop her. "Trying to mark your territory?" he asks. That bite is going to be somewhat visible, but he doesn't care that much.

Malcolm gently rubs at her back. He'd make a joke about marking her too, but she already has enough marks from men who've tried to own her. "You're mine," he says again, just because he likes the sound of the words coming out of his mouth.

Harley mumbles agreement, on both counts. Her lashes flutter against his skin as she moves to another spot to leave another mark.

She wouldn't mind a few marks of her own, would even welcome it, but not until she finishes this job. Maybe she'll suggest it to him.

"I love you," she whispers against his throat, over and over. She hasn't said it since Niagara Falls and apparently needs to make up for lost time.

"That's the first time you've said since we were away," he says, picking up on that immediately. "I'm sorry to make you wait so long." It's music to his ears though and he closes his eyes as Harley's lips ghost over his skin.

"I said that you look beautiful, but what I think I meant is that you look incredibly sexy in that," Malcolm tells her. It's an outfit that shows off all of her best physical features, especially her legs.

"You like it that much?" Of course he does. Harley picked out every piece of her look specifically to get a rise out of him. "Then I'll leave it on when you bend me over this sofa and fuck my brains out."

Her voice is getting a rough edge of lust and she nips at his earlobe after she says it.

"I think I'd have to be blind not to like it," he replies. There's not much to the dress. It's short, dips low in the front, and has no back. It looks absolutely amazing on her.

Malcolm lets out a low moan at her words and the way she nibbles at his earlobe. "Yeah?" he replies, his own voice getting rougher. "Is that what I'm going to do to you?" One of his hands starts to slide up her inner thigh.

Harley kisses him with a grin, catching his lip lightly between her teeth before dipping her tongue into his mouth.

"That's exactly what you're gonna do," she coos as she shifts her legs further apart to encourage his touch. Her own hand rubs him through the front of his trousers. "Because you love me."

"I do," he confirms. "I love you very much."

Malcolm moans low in his throat when Harley starts touching him. Reaching under her dress, he grips the waistband of her panties and starts to pull them down her legs. They're lacy and black, the sort of thing she looks incredible in, the sort of thing his mother probably found on the floor that morning.

Once the underwear is off, he puts his hand back between her legs and rubs his fingers through her wetness. Sometimes he can't believe how quickly he's able to turn her on.

Harley nearly whimpers when he says the L word. It's way too obvious she hasn't heard it nearly enough in her life, but she's well past the point of trying to put up a front with Malcolm.

"I'm so ready for you. Please don't make me wait."

She undoes his belt and the front of his trousers with nimble fingers so she can stroke him to full hardness.

He looks forward to being able to tell her that every day from now on. Malcolm leans his head back against the couch and moans a gentle sigh when Harley starts stroking him. He hasn't been with a ton of women in his life, but nobody has made him feel like she does.

Before he pushes his pants down and out of the way, he reaches for his wallet. Thank God he keeps remembering to put a new condom in there because the two of them go through them like tissues. Malcolm hands her the packet, letting her do the honors.

"I really gotta get the implant or somethin'," Harley mutters as she rips the foil open and drops the wrapper on the floor. She kisses him deep and slow as she unrolls the condom down his erection.

Then she cruelly slides to the other end of the sofa.

"If you want to fuck me, come here and take me. Make me yours, Malcolm. All yours, and only yours."

A sly smile crosses his lips as he watches her scoot away from him. He gets up and slowly starts advancing on her. "Yeah? You want me to bend you over this sofa, right? You're my girl now. All mine."

Malcolm quickly grabs her around the waist and tugs her back towards the middle of the couch, flipping her over in the process.

The hem of her dress slides up to her hips as pulls her towards him. She squeals in delight that Malcolm is playing along with this game.

"Yes," she moans, agreeing to being manhandled and being his. She catches herself on the couch when he flips her and wiggles her hips. "Give it to me. Now. Please."

He positions them with him on his knees behind her as he pushes her dress up her back. After lining his cock up to her entrance, he slides in. She's wet enough to not offer any resistance.

"Mmmm," he moans lightly, leaning down so that he can kiss and nibble at her earlobe. "I loved that squeal you made... love all the noises you make when we fuck. My beautiful Harley..."

Malcolm rocks his hips forward, starting a slow pace for now. It won't be long until he'll have to pick it up so he doesn't go out of his mind.

The moan that comes out of Harley when he pushes in is worthy of a worldclass porno. She pushes her hips back, obviously also about to go out of her mind if he keeps it slow.

"Malcolm," she whines, "I'm yours, I'm all yours. God, I love you, Malcolm!"

That moan goes straight to his cock, sending a shiver of pleasure down his spine. "Damn," he says. "You're so hot. I love you too."

Reaching down, he grabs a hold of her hips so that he can thrust harder up into her. The couch rocks underneath them as they move. Once he's sure they're steady, he tugs down the top of her dress and pulls out one of her breasts, cupping it in his hand.

Harley arches underneath him and moans again. One of her hands covers his and squeezes, showing him how she wants to be touched.

"Fuck yeah, just like this. Keep going. This is exactly what I need."

Her thighs are starting to tense and her grip on the back of the couch is white knuckled.

Malcolm loves giving her what she needs. She's got him entirely wrapped around her finger. If he didn't know better, he'd think she was doing that on purpose, making him fall in love with her to then turn on him later. Malcolm's read her though. He knows she's being honest with him. For once, he's letting go of his doubts.

He squeezes her breast, rolling the nipple between his thumb and forefinger. "You're mine," he tells her again. "I'm never letting you go." The thrusts grow rougher now as Malcolm starts to lose himself inside of her. The sound of his hips crashing against hers fills his apartment.

Harley writhes beneath him and cries out with every thrust, every pinch, every fervent promise.

"I'm yours," she answers between hot, ragged puffs of breath. "Always, always, always yours."

Her fingers sneak between her legs, rubbing fast circles over her clit as he pounds away. Sex with Malcolm has always been amazing, but it's never been like this. He loves her and he needs her and, okay yes she knows sex shouldn't be the validation she seeks in their relationship, but it's still so fucking nice.

"Fuck," he whispers, slowing the pace of his hips only so he can help her sit up. Malcolm wants to be able to feel her body against his. This position, while absolutely lovely for his cock, doesn't give him enough contact with the rest of her.

Once she's got her head leaned back on his shoulder, he grips her hips tightly and increases his speed again. "Harley..." Malcolm nibbles on her earlobe. "God, you're perfect. I love you."

The muscles in his legs start to tighten and he can feel himself getting close.

Like this, Harley thinks she can feel the beat of his heart against her back but it may just be her own pounding hard enough to burst.

"Malcolm, I--"

She reaches back and tangles one hand in his hair, her other still working at a frantic pace between her legs. But it's his teeth on her ear and his voice that pushes her over the edge of orgasm.

She comes with a sharp gasp of air and a shudder in her legs.

"Yes!" he says as he feels her on the precipice. "Come for me..." Malcolm gazes down her body, watching her hand moving between her legs. The sight of her touching herself and the feeling of her body contracting against his send him spiraling into bliss.

He holds on to her tightly as the orgasm rushes through him, burying his face in her hair as he moans. Maybe it's because of what he feels for her, but sex with her is undoubtedly the best he's ever had.

Malcolm reaches out for leverage against the arm of the couch as both of them come down and catch their breaths. He tilts Harley's face towards his and brushes his lips against hers.

Harley's lips curl into a smile when he kisses her and she sighs happily. She's practically boneless in his arms.

"That ... was so hot." She chuckles and pops her fingers in her mouth to lick them clean.

Harley shifts to face him and slip her arms around his waist.

"I love you, Malcolm Bright, and if you're feeling up to it there's something else I want to do with you tonight."

It was hot. They'd had some amazing sex before, but there was something special about that, as spurred on as it had been by his admission of love. Malcolm holds her close, burying his nose in her hair.

"Oh yeah?" he asks. "I'm intrigued."

Harley pulls his shirt up to touch his skin. Her nails drag lightly up his sides.

"I want to sleep with you. In the same bed."

That causes his smile to fall. "Harley..." He sighs. "I know you can defend yourself, but I don't want to unwittingly attack you in my sleep. I don't want to fight you." Honestly, because he'd probably lose. "Even wearing the restraints I might still hurt you."

The memory of how he had almost stabbed Eve is all too vivid. Granted, he hadn't been wearing his restraints at the time. At least he wouldn't be able to get to a knife if he was strapped in.

Harley kisses the corner of his mouth to turn that frown upside down. Her touch under his shirt shifts from teasing to soothing.

"I know you're scared of hurting me, but I know how to restrain a patient in crisis. You won't hurt me." Granted, they have wildly different thresholds for what might count as damage.

"We can do it in steps. Set an alarm for, like, half an hour, and see how that goes. I want to at least try."

He takes a deep breath, thinking. Of all the women he's been with, Harley is the one most equipped to handle him in the middle of a night terror. Malcolm just hates that she has to do that at all.

His eyes meet hers. "The nightmares have been a little better lately," he admits. Putting the girl in the box to rest helped. "I want to try too, I'll just... hate myself if I hurt you."

Before he used the restraints, Jessica used to take the brunt of his nighttime flailings. When he saw the bruises on her in the morning, he used to feel horrible.

"If we're going to try this, we should probably set the alarm for 2 hours. That way I'll go through a whole cycle of REM sleep."

"It's gonna be just fine."

Harley slides her arms around him and hugs him close. Her head rests on his shoulder.

"We're only testing the waters, for a little bit. If it doesn't work then we can drop it." Although she would want to try again, once hurt feelings had time to cool off.

"I just want to stay close to you, that's all."

Malcolm strokes his fingers up and down her bare back.

"I know," he says softly. "I want that too." Leaning down, he kisses her forehead. "I'm willing to try it because it's you, because I know you can defend yourself. Just... try not to kick my ass, okay?"

He's been known to sleep walk and do all sorts of things. Fortunately, the restraints cut down on a lot of that.

Harley smiles at him and laughs a little. "I promise to do the bare minimum of ass kicking."

She shifts into his lap, and it's not for sexy reasons this time. She just wants to be as near as she can. He knows how much she loves a cuddle by now.

"Thank you. I know how huge this is for you."

He wraps his arms around her and holds her close to him. Cuddling must be another reason why she wants to sleep in bed with him. Not that he's complaining.

"Yeah. I've never slept in bed with someone else, at least not intentionally." He kisses her temple. Malcolm's worried, but Harley's right that they ought to at least try it and see. He's never felt this way about any woman he's dated in the past. If they have a future together, he wants them to be able to sleep in the same bed.

"It doesn't have to be tonight, if you need to get used to the idea first. It's already been a hell of an evening."

Harley curls into him and sighs softly. She's already more than satisfied for now. All she needed was to hear him say the words out loud. The sex was a most excellent bonus.

He smiles. "Yeah." Malcolm is happy that he finally told her what he'd been feeling. Not that it was some huge secret, but saying the words finally put everything between them on the table. He's never felt happier.

"I like cuddling with you," he says. "Do you have anything to sleep in here or do you want to borrow one of my T-shirts?"

Harley's here so often that he imagines she's got half a closet full of clothing upstairs, but he isn't exactly sure what.

She has a small wardrobe upstairs and most of it is made up of pieces taken from him. Nothing is more comfortable than a boyfriend's stolen shirt.

Harley smirks at him and presses a kiss to his cheek.

"Or I could sleep naked."

"I won't complain about that," he says with a shrug. Deep down he's just like every other man who has zero problems with falling asleep with a beautiful naked woman in his arms. "I think we should try it. I trust you." It's himself that he sometimes doesn't trust. His brain just doesn't work like everyone else's.

Harley kisses him sweetly, her hands cupping his face.

"I'm going to take care of you," she whispers against his lips. "Promise."

She stands and peels off her dress before settling back onto his lap.

"Do you think you're ready to try sleeping or did I not wear you out enough?"

"I'm pretty worn out," he says even as he eyes her taking off her dress. Things had been tense between them all day and then that sex had been particularly passionate. His body and mind are tired, even if he dreads trying to sleep every night. "I don't even want to move."

That may also have something to do with her sitting naked in his lap though.

"Let's get you tucked in, loverboy."

Harley stands and takes his hands to pull him up with her. Once he's standing, she undresses him with care.

Malcolm moves with her and stands while she starts to take his clothes off.

"What are you doing?" he asks, a smile on his face.

He's not used to being taken care of. Malcolm's always the one doing the protecting, so it's strange to him that someone might actually want to see that his needs are met for once.

Harley arches a brow at him as she pulls off his belt.

"Oh, my bad. Did you want to sleep in your suit with your dick hanging out?"

She takes a step back and makes a show of raking her eyes over him.

"It's not your best look, but you can make anything work."

He puts his arms out and smiles. "I've been told I could model if I was taller."

Malcolm grows more serious as she pulls out his belt and then starts loosening his tie. "You're trying to take care of me," he says. "Thank you."

Sometimes she might think she can't be capable of sweet things like this, but he's always known that she's wrong. There's a kind heart in her, even if it's only reserved for him.

"You could definitely be a model," Harley agrees while leaning in to give him a quick peck. "I'm thinkin' nudes."

Although Harley is careful while taking the clothes off him, she lets them drop to the floor after taking off each piece. She only gets distracted running her hands over his skin a couple of times in the process.

"Who's trying? I am taking care of you. It's about time you let someone do it."

He snorts. "I'm pretty sure you'd be the only market for that." Seriously, who else would want to look at him naked.

Her hands feel good on his skin and for once, he's content to let her take care of him. "Yeah well... I don't like losing control."

Isn't that a lot of what it boils down to? Letting someone take care of him means that he's off his guard and that means they can hurt him. Malcolm trusts Harley enough not to hurt him.

"You're gonna have to get used to it now, cuz I'm not gonna stop taking care of you."

Harley takes his hand and leads him over to the bed. She pulls the covers back for him.

"Where do you keep your pajamas?"

He goes along with her willingly. "Second drawer," he tells her.

While she's looking for pajamas, he pulls up his restraints and puts them on the bed. "Is this because I told you I loved you?" Malcolm asks. "Has it activated the part of your brain that makes you want to be a caregiver?"

Maybe it just gave her an endorphin high. He's not mad about it at all, just curious that she's so intent on taking care of him.

Harley pulls his sleep clothes from the drawer and tosses them to him. She digs out a soft shirt for herself and pulls it on. Even with her makeup a total mess, the boyfriend's shirt is still a cute look for her.

"I'm doing it because you're in a mood to let me," she answers as she walks past him to wash her face and brush her teeth. She stops long enough to kiss him as she goes.

Harley has a natural inclination to take care of her partners, often at the expense of herself. It's the rest of the population she has trouble caring about.

It's a very cute look for her, and he eyes her appreciatively as she walks to the bathroom, the curve of her butt sticking out from the bottom of his shirt. Malcolm pulls on his pajamas, then joins her in the bathroom so that he can prep for bed as well.

"It's kind of nice," he tells her, "and you're doing it in a way that doesn't make me feel smothered, like my mother is prone to do."

Jessica is just Extra, even though he knows she cares.

"I like doing it," Harley replies when he joins her. She smiles at him in the mirror and bumps him with her hip as she starts to brush her teeth.

Honestly, it's a wonder it took them so long to make things official. She started keeping a toothbrush at his place ages before they put a name to their thing.

She finishes up and leans against the counter to watch him. "Besides, Sunshine can only do so much."

He nods as he brushes his teeth. Sunshine is a great emotional support for him, but it's not the same as a person who loves him. That romantic love that Harley gives him is hard to replace.

After finishing, he wraps an arm around Harley's waist and pulls her close. "You look really good in that," Malcolm tells her. She looks good in anything and nothing.

"Oh yeah?"

Harley smiles as he holds her close and tilts her face towards his for a kiss. One hand slides down his back, her fingers dipping under the waistband of his pajama pants.

"How good?"

He gives her that kiss, then moves his lips to her ear. "Good enough to eat," he whispers. The two of them really can't get enough of each other, can they? Not that he's complaining. Sex with her is absolutely incredible.

One of his hands drifts down her back and grips her ass.

Harley bites gently at his lip as he pulls away from the kiss, and a little shiver runs down her back when he whispers in her ear.

"What happened to being tired?"

She tips her head back to encourage him to move his lips over her throat. Her stance shifts to part her legs a little.

"I am tired, but some activity might help me fall asleep faster." He shrugs. "We don't have to."

They don't, but his hand is sliding back around to the front and creeping down between her legs. His fingers softly touch her wet folds.

Harley grins. "We don't have to," she agrees, "but we're gonna."

Harley kisses him fiercely and braces herself against the counter. One of her legs slides up to his hip and wraps around him. She sighs into his mouth as his fingers tease between her thighs.

"I want you all the time."

Edited 2020-06-04 02:22 (UTC)

He hums into the kiss as she opens her legs and he can touch her more fully. She's already so wet and his fingers slip over her clit and back to her opening.

"Here or on the bed?" he asks against her mouth. Malcolm honestly doesn't care.

Harley presses her face against his shoulder and moans. Her grip tightens on the edge of the counter.

"Do you remember-- " She gasps and her hips chase his fingers. "When you asked if you should make love to me?"

She hadn't wanted it then, not when she didn't know how he meant it, but it's different now.

Malcolm's hand pauses between her legs and he stops kissing her neck to look up at her.

"Yes," he says, a warm feeling flowing through him. "I can make love to you."

He would have done it then, even without saying it, but he agrees that it's different now. All of his cards are on the table. Both of them know that they love each other.

Malcolm slips his hand in hers and tugs her out into the bedroom.

Harley giggles and lets him pull her into the bedroom. The second he stops, she catches his face in her hands and kisses him while shuffling back until the bed hits her legs.

"Tell me you love me." She wants to hear it over and over.

Malcolm catches her before she can fall, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her against him as they kiss hungrily.

"I love you," he tells her easily when they separate. "I told you, you're mine now."

He pulls the hem of the shirt she's wearing up and off because he wants her naked for this. His own shirt follows quickly behind it.

Her hands are on him as soon as his shirt is off. He just looks too good not to touch.

"Yours," she echoes, still sounding a little in awe of the idea. "I love you, Malcolm."

"I love you too, Harley." He wants her to hear him say her name in that sentence, to know without a doubt that she's the one that he loves.

Malcolm's pants quickly join the rest of their clothes on the floor and he kisses her before leading her to the bed. They lay side by side in the dim light, Malcolm just looking at her laid out before him and pushing her blonde hair back from her face.

"You're so beautiful," he tells her.

"Uh huh." Harley turns her face to nip at his hand. She reaches for him and pulls him close, her legs wrapping around his hips. "Less talking."

Harley has never been a patient lover.

Edited 2020-06-05 01:25 (UTC)

"Not even dirty talking?" he asks teasingly. That doesn't really fit with what they're about to do. Words of love and affirmation, yes; sexy vulgarities, no.

He cups her face in his hands and kisses her sweetly for a few moments, deepening the kiss as his hands start to explore her body. One moves down and cups her butt before slipping back around front and between her legs again. He slides his fingers through her folds more purposefully this time, finding her clit and circling it with his thumb.

Harley winds her arms around his shoulders as he kisses her, their tongues sliding together. She sighs into his mouth and it ends with a hint of whining that he's taking his time. Harley always wants more, now.

God, she's going to fall apart under his hands.

"Malcolm..."

He takes one of her hands and moves it down to his cock, silently asking her to touch him and help get him ready. He's not as hard yet as she is wet. Meanwhile, he sucks on the fingers of his that were between her legs, then returns them. After a few strokes, he slides one of his fingers inside of her, probing gently while his thumb plays with her clit.

"Love you," he murmurs against her lips.

Her fingers curl gently around his cock and she moves her hand in slow, even strokes. She drags her teeth over his lower lip as she adds a twist to the motion of her wrist.

Harley is already beyond the point of speech, only making soft needy sounds with every stroke of his fingers.

He moans softly as she's easily able to get him hard. As much as he hates the idea of removing his hand from her and pulling away, he has to in order to get a condom. The idea of him having children is a much more despised prospect.

Malcolm retrieves a condom from the drawer and quickly opens and rolls it up his cock. He hitches her leg further up on top of his, opening her even more widely. Positioning the tip, Malcolm pushes slowly into her, gazing into her eyes as he feels her warmth surround him.

Harley bucks once underneath him. Why does he have to move so goddamn slow? She would be mad if it wasn't so amazing to really feel every inch of him filling her up.

She can't look away from his gaze, the way his eyes almost glow when he's this aroused. The way he looks at her like she's something precious and rare. Fuck, he gets her all up in her feelings even when he isn't doing his profiler sympathy bit.

"I love you," she says, soft enough he wouldn't be able to hear it if they weren't so close.

That's part of the lovemaking, Harley: slow and deep. To him, she's perfect. He knows how imperfect both of them really are, but when they're like this, she's perfect in his eyes.

Malcolm kisses her deeply before he starts thrusting into her. He holds on to her ass for traction as sets the pace. Eventually he'll pick up speed, but for now they're going to enjoy the feeling of each other's bodies.

"My Harley," he murmurs.

Harley has made love like this before, but it's been so long that it feels new again. It isn't bad this way, not chasing their release as hard as they can. Their bodies pressed together, hearts pounding in time.

"Yes. Yes..."

She likes looking into his eyes and seeing him consumed with her. He loves her, they're together, and everything is finally going to be alright. She'll never let him go. Her fingers dig into his back.

Their legs tangle together as they move as one. Malcolm starts to kiss at her neck, sucking gently at the skin. Going slowly like this means that he can go for a while, and that's exactly what he wants. Harley feels so hot and tight around him, but the pace isn't making him frantic yet.

Malcolm moans low in his throat before digging a hand in her hair and tugging softly on it.

Harley crosses her ankles behind his back and squeezes him with her thighs. She wants him close. She wants every part of her touching his skin.

She moans with desperate need when his fingers tighten in her hair. She immediately tightens on his cock in response.

His moan is louder when she squeezes around him, a cry of want. He's not going to tug her hair hard during this, but he knows she likes that pressure, so he keeps it up.

"Can you come like this?" he asks breathlessly against her warm skin. "Or do you need me to touch you?"

"Touch me," she immediately breathes against his ear. "Touch me, please, don't ever stop."

She arches under him and runs her hands down his back to squeeze his ass with both hands, trying to touch as much of him as she can.

With him practically on top of her, it's going to be difficult for him to touch her. He could pull out of her and flip her around and enter her from behind, but he can't bear the idea of pulling out of her. Instead, he moves onto his back and brings her with him until she's straddling him.

"Ride me," he says, keeping the pace of his own hips slow. One hand rests on her ass while the other moves between her legs. His thumb circles her clit.

Harley arches back and braces her hands behind her on his thighs. She rolls her hips slowly and it takes a lot of effort to keep that deliberate pace. She can feel him even more deeply this way and knows he's going just as crazy as she is.

The expression on his face is intoxicating and she doesn't want to miss a second, but her eyes flutter closed as his thumb brushes her clit.

"Oh."

It's slow and deep but somehow still satisfying. They're building each other up to what he anticipates will be incredible orgasms for both of them. Harley's not a very patient person in general, but maybe he can show her that good things do come to those who wait.

This is perfect. Malcolm's always preferred this position compared to him being on top. While his one hand keeps moving between her legs, the other gently teases up the skin of her torso.

"You look so beautiful," he whispers.

Harley doesn't want this to end, but her climax is just around the corner with his fingers working at the apex of her thighs. She wants to at least last until he explores more of her skin with soft touches, but his compliment sets off butterflies in her stomach and she starts to ride him faster. That's what really does her in. Hearing his praise and knowing he means it with his whole heart. She'll never have enough of that.

He's going to praise her every day of his life because she deserves it. Malcolm hates that she hasn't heard it enough in her life. That's why he wants everything between them to be different than it was before for her.

"That's it," he says, being able to tell that she's getting closer. "Come for me." He knows that he'll fall over the edge with her. The hand on her torso reaches up to cup one of her breasts as he braces for her orgasm.

Harley's orgasm doesn't hit her hard and fast. It builds and builds until she feels too full of love for him to hold it in and then explodes through her body. Her jaw drops and eyes close, and she makes the smallest noises of pleasure instead of crying out like usual.

He watches as it blooms on her face, the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. Even if her orgasm isn't loud, Malcolm can tell that it's powerful. The way she trembles on top of him and squeezes him sets off his own.

Malcolm moans for her, his eyes shut and his back arching up off of the bed as he spills into her again and again. It feels like she's emptying him with each spasm of her walls around his cock.

It isn't the most intense orgasm she's ever had but it lasts. She's still riding it out after he's spent, and she collapses against his chest when it's over, utterly exhausted and blissed out.

"Kiss me?" she whispers.

He does so, gladly. Malcolm cups her face in his hands and kisses her for as long as he can before losing his breath. He wraps his arms around her, holding her close to him.

"I love you."

Malcolm can't believe that he's going to get to try falling asleep with her in his arms tonight.

Harley sighs happily into the kiss, and kisses along his neck when they part for breath. She stays on top of him, too boneless and satisfied to move.

"Can we stay just like this for a while, before I have to strap you in for the night?"

Malcolm nods against her and strokes his fingers through her hair. He loves just having her close to him. A person would probably never guess that she's as cuddly as she is.

"Ever had sex like that before?" he asks. "Slow and sensual?"

"Not for a long time," she says.

Her fingers trail over his sides, tracing invisible patterns. She loves moments like this, when they're both spent and she feels settled in her skin.

"And I never came during it before."

He scoffs and shakes his head. "That's the best part," he tells her, "watching you come."

Malcolm knows that it's not from any lack of trying on her part. Her partners didn't see to it that she finished. It's really not that much to do for such an incredible result.

"I can't wait to keep making you come every single day."

"I like that part too."

She kisses him sweetly and then tucks her head against his shoulder. Her eyelashes flutter against his skin.

"That's quite the commitment, Malcolm."

He shrugs as he draws idly on her arm with his fingers. "I don't think so. I love you and I want to spend every day with you."

Malcolm wonders if they ought to just officially move in together already. There are a few things that need to be sorted out though, like what they'll do with Bruce. Maybe they need to see how tonight goes first and see if they can even sleep in the same bed together.

As often happens, talking about the future makes Harley a little uneasy. She hasn't had enough stability in her life to rely on others being there even the next day. She kisses him so he can't talk about it anymore.

"Let's worry about spending the night first. You ready for this?"

As far as Malcolm's concerned, he's not going anywhere. They would have to drag him away from her.

"Yeah." He reaches for the cuffs and locks himself into them. "Really romantic, I know."

Part of him can't believe they're trying this, but part of him actually has a good feeling about it. He'll probably still have a nightmare, probably still wake up, but maybe he won't try to hurt her. Or if he does, she'll be able to stop him. Malcolm just hates that she has to at all.

Harley kisses him sweetly, cupping his face, her lashes tickling his cheek.

"Good night, lover."

She smiles because she gets to stay after she says it. She tucks in against his side and settles her head against the crook of his shoulder. One arm slides over his stomach.

"Is this comfortable for you?"

"Good night, Harley."

He smiles back at her, fond of her usual bedtime words and happy about the fact that she's not heading off to the upstairs bedroom tonight.

"Yeah." Malcolm wraps an arm around her from underneath, being careful not to tangle the leads of his restraints. That might be another issue that they run into. "It might take some time to find a good position for us. I've never slept with anyone before."

"You know I don't mind changing positions," she mumbles, starting to feel tired. The exhaustion of spending all day mad and then two rounds of amazing sex is catching up with her. "Now shush. Sleep time."

He kisses the top of her head again, stroking her hair. Soon enough, he can feel her breathing even out and he can tell that she's asleep. Malcolm wishes it was that easy for him. He's even more nervous tonight about falling asleep, and it takes him a while to get truly comfortable and drift off.

A few hours later, he stirs. Nothing violent yet, just movement underneath Harley and a low moan from his throat.

Harley is roused at the sound and listens for signs of distress in his breathing. She lightly strokes his hair to soothe him. She's still half asleep but has always been naturally attentive to her partners.

He doesn't awaken. The nightmare this time is Ainsley, coming at him with a knife, being urged on by their father to kill him.

Malcolm lets out a little moan and his brow furrows as he turns away from Harley, trying in his dream to escape from his sister.

Harley props herself up on one elbow and watches him with a frown. She doesn't want to put any pressure on him or touch him suddenly in case it manifests in his nightmare as an attack.

"Babe," she whispers, "Hey, Malcolm. It's okay. Wake up."

With a gasp, his eyes shoot open. He's out of the dream enough to not jump or attack Harley, but he does turn his frightened eyes towards her. Malcolm sighs and rubs at his face, adjusting to his new state of consciousness.

"Did I hit you?" he asks.

She shakes her head and kisses him on the temple.

"No, I woke you up before it got that bad."

Harley runs her fingers across his brow and over his hair. His first concern had been for her, even for this. God, he's so good. She loves him like crazy.

"You want to talk about it?"

Malcolm closes his eyes, glad that he didn't hurt her. He's hoping so badly that this first night sleeping in the same bed won't end in a disaster.

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather sleep upstairs so that you can actually sleep?" he asks, knowing already what her answer will be. She's not going to leave. Her fingers in his hair are soothing and he takes a deep breath.

"It was Ainsley. She was coming after me with a knife."

"No sisters here. Fuckton of knives, though."

She keeps petting his hair, happy to do it as long as it helps him relax.

"Do you think you'll be able to get back to sleep?"

"I'm going to try at least. I might wake you up again." Malcolm takes her free hand in his and laces their fingers together. "We've talked about it before, but I'm worried about her."

Ainsley hasn't been charged with any crime yet, but the DA is still debating, still seeing if there's enough evidence for murder.

Harley squeezes his fingers. If they had called her first, she could have made the crime scene disappear. Thrown off the trail of evidence, at least long enough to create an alibi. She handled that business all the time in Gotham for Joker's associates, but she's out of that life and Malcolm wouldn't want her to go back.

Too bad she can't bleach away the trauma.

"Maybe you should call her in the morning."

He knows she could have cleaned the crime scene. Malcolm didn't want to do that. Then he would be just as bad as Endicott himself.

Lifting their twined hands to his lips, he kisses the back of hers. "I will. She hasn't been the same, for obvious reasons."

Harley is quiet for a long moment, just listening to his breathing in the dark.

"Should I talk to her?"

After all, Malcolm knows how to find murderers but Harley has actually been one. It isn't something they ever talk about, as if not acknowledging it can magically make it go away.

"If you want to," he replies. It's nice of her to offer. Malcolm knows she's more equipped to talk with Ainsley about what she might be feeling than he is.

It's not that he'd ever be unwilling to talk with Harley about the fact that she's killed before, just that he hates to think of her that way. He cares about her too much to think of her as the thing that he hunts for a living.

"I love you."

"I don't want to, but I will."

Harley keeps running her fingers through his hair with a smile. Now that he's let himself say the words, he doesn't seem able to stop saying it. She can't say she minds.

"Go back to sleep, babe."

Malcolm nods, closing his eyes again. Her fingers in his hair are so soothing. Normally he's the type that has to play the hero, the one who has to take care of everyone. It's so nice to be taken care of for a change. Harley's gently attentions send him drifting back to sleep once more.

Is this Harley Quinn?

who the fuck wants to know

Jessica Whitly. Malcolm's mother.

[ Uh. Fffffffffuck. ]

Oh.

Hi.

Malcolm didn't mention he gave you my number.

He didn't. I have ways of finding out information.

I was hoping we might chat a little if that doesn't sounds too awful.

[ It sounds the awfulest. ]

Ok. Sure.

But I'm really going to need to know how you got this number because I def gotta shut that down. Security reasons.

By conspiring with my ex-husband. God knows what sort of sources he has.

I need to know that your interest in my son isn't purely financial.

Oh boy. Malcolm is going to love when I have to go shake down his dad. Super looking forward to that conversation.

I have never asked him for a dime. The only time I've let him foot the bill was buying a new outfit because he's trying to My Fair Lady me up before our big brunch showdown.

I'd honestly love to see him being shaken down, so he won't hear a word from me about it.

I see. That's not that surprising that he would want to do that. I am going to take you at your word.

I'm sure you've realized that Malcolm is very vulnerable.

Yeah he made me practice mom interview questions. It was a whole thing.

I know. And I think we both know he's got a thing for chasing bad ideas. But I'm not going to be another thing that hurts him.

[ She's touched. Malcolm really wants her to like this girl. ]

Isn't that a difficult promise for someone who's been in and out of prison to make?

Early release for good behavior tyvm

[ At least as far as all the official records are concerned. Thanks, shadowy government blackops program. ]

[ Yes, she did see that. Jessica ran a background check because of course she did. ]

Hopefully that means you're keeping up your good behavior then. I'm saying that it appears he's grown very attached to you. I don't want him to have to go through any more loss.

I gotta be honest I was expecting a lot more "stay away from my son you bitch or else"

I don't have any plans on going anywhere as long as he wants me around. Malcolm is one of the few good things that's ever happened to me.

Plus if we split Sunshine would be devastated

Hey can I ask you something now?

I choose my battles when it comes to Malcolm. Right now I have to ask myself if his girlfriend is really the hill that I want to die on. You're certainly not what I would have picked though.

I'm glad to hear that. He's a good man, even if he thinks he isn't.

You may.

Does he actually eat???? I have literally never seen it happen.

A little bit. Enough to stay alive. He's been like that ever since the stuff with his father.

his sleep has been a little better lately

not that he has a high bar to clear

I'm glad to hear that. Are you sleeping in the same bed with him? Please note that I'm asking because of the restraints. I'm well aware that the two of you are having sex.

whatttt noooo I don't even know what a penis is?????

I feel bad for him then.

Even when I found the underwear, I assumed it was just sex. He's a young man and young men have needs. Really, all of us have needs, if I'm being honest.

I thought he should just tell you a hooker left them

He knows I wouldn't believe that. He wouldn't hire a hooker. And he doesn't need to. Seriously, look at him.

[ Harley thinks Malcolm might hire professional company under very specific circumstances, but also thinks that's a weird debate to have with his mother, so she'll just let this one go. ]

I often do

[ Wait is that a weird thing to talk about too? She doesn't know shit about appropriate boundaries. ]

We don't share a bed. I sleep in the spare room if I stay over. He's too scared he'd hurt me on accident.

[ The Whitly family doesn't know what boundaries are, so it's all good. ]

For good reason. He hit me several times as a child when I was trying to restrain him during his night terrors. No major injuries, but he always felt bad about it when he woke up. I could handle him when he was a boy, but when he got older it became too difficult.

Edited 2020-05-11 02:28 (UTC)

I can take one hell of a beating but he doesnt really like being reminded of that

Of course not. I'm sure he'd hate to think of you in pain, especially if he knew he was the cause of it. My son tends to carry guilt around like a hundred pound weight on his shoulders.

He's not going to hurt me. I know how to keep a man restrained.

[ Wait. ]

For medical reasons.

Edited 2020-05-11 03:28 (UTC)

I don't need to know Malcolm's sexual proclivities.

[ Maybe there is a boundary after all. Sort of. Jessica probably wouldn't actually mind knowing. She's morbidly curious. This family is messed up. ]

Point being, he's not going to ever put you in any sort of harm's way. He'd rather die himself than let that happen.

No but literally for medical reasons I was a doctor specializing in violent psychopaths I stg I'm not telling you sex deets

[ Or at least, never admitting it. ]

I know he wouldn't. It was pretty weird for me at first tbh. He's

Very different

From what I'm used to

Now I see what you two have in common.

My son is a good man, despite all of his issues. All I want is for him to be happy.

I think I make him happy. I try to.

... I mean he doesn't have real high expectations tbh. Which works in my favor!

He should have high expectations though, don't you think?

nobody in this city should have high expectations

I have high expectations for him. He deserves it.

yeah he does, but he wants me instead and I already gave him a chance to dump me and trade up, so.

Can't say I didn't try either, but he's apparently not interested in any of the lovely girls from good families that I try to introduce him to.

turns out this whole time you should have been introducing him to broken bitches from brooklyn! Surprise!

I would have preferred someone more stable, but I can see why you're appealing to him. Again, I've been choosing to pick my battles with Malcolm lately.

Edited 2020-05-13 03:05 (UTC)

so since you ambushed my phone, do I get out of brunch?

Definitely not. You'll need to make use of whatever thousand dollar outfit you picked out for this.

five thousand
i was in a real petty mood

[ Dear God. ]

All the more reason for it to not go to waste.

[ Jessica probably has shoes that cost more than that. ]

do you think if we gang up on him we could get Malcolm to eat an entire egg? maybe even TWO eggs?

We can try. Generally, he doesn't respond well to threats though. Surely you're aware of how stubborn he is.

So is this some kinda seven minutes in heaven scenario? 'Cause I gotta say, I ain't complaining.

[ How did they wind up here? Negan doesn't really know. He got drunk. He fucked with the wrong people. Maybe Harley did, too. Maybe they both got knocked out and stuffed in a closet for the time being. But whatever the case, in spite of nursing one hell of a headache...he can appreciate the silhouette he sees of Harley in the dim light that creeps under the closet door. ]

Shit, almost makes me not wanna leave.

I don't think heaven smells like mothballs. But if that's what gets you in the mood, who am I to judge?

[ Harley presses her ear to the door and strains to hear any sign of goons on the other side. She starts a list in her head of everyone she might have pissed off that would shove her in a closet, but loses count.

The door doesn't yield when she tries the knob so she starts feeling around in the dark for something she can use to knock it down. Her searching hands find his chest. Oh. Well.

Maybe she can stay for a few minutes. ]

So what're you in for?

Harley had been working at Claremont for two weeks on her research team and it was so far, so good, it seemed. She had avoided The Surgeon and Martin hadn't contacted Malcolm about Harley yet. Was it possible that he didn't realize who she was or that she was dating Malcolm? He found the chances of that to be slim to none. His father had a way of finding out things. He must not, surprisingly, realize that Harley is working there.

Their sleeping arrangement is going well too. Malcolm has had a few nightmares, but nothing that Harley hasn't been able to handle yet. The restraints help to keep him from getting up out of the bed and going for a weapon. They always make sure that he's locked in before they go to sleep.

That night, they're cuddled together as usual when Malcolm slips into a dream. He's at Claremont, walking down the long hall that leads to his father's cell when he hears female laughter coming from inside. His heart drops. He would know that laugh anywhere.

The door swings open and Malcolm finds his father sitting on his bed with Harley, both of them grinning at each other. "My boy!" Martin says. "So nice of you to stop by. I've just been getting acquainted with your girlfriend. Might I say what a wonderful choice she is."

"Stay away from her!" Malcolm cries. It comes out as a whimper and a moan outside of his dream. He tries to get his feet to move, to grab Harley out of Martin's clutches, but it feels like he's the one at the end of a tether.

"Your father's so nice, Malcolm!" Harley says. "I don't know why you were so afraid for us to meet."

In bed, Malcolm twists, trying to get to her, to protect her.

Harley was sleeping peacefully with her arm slung across Malcolm's stomach, only distantly aware of his growing restlessness.

She fully wakes when he moves but is too slow to get out of bed before he lunges for her.

"Malcolm! Malcolm, baby, wake up."

He doesn't wake up as he writhes. His eyes are open, but he's not seeing anything, still lost in his dream.

"Not only that," the Harley in his dream says, "but he's so much more my type, don't you think?"

She and Martin give each other a loving look and Malcolm feels like he's going to vomit.

"No!" he says both in his dream and out loud. "Get away from her!" No matter how much he reaches, he can't get to either of them.

"Sorry, son," Martin says as he puts his arm around Harley. "You were never good enough for her. She's mine now."

Harley pushes him back so she can sit up. She doesn't pin him down but she does put her hands on his shoulders, leaning over him. She gives him a good hard shake.

"Malcolm, it's okay. Wake up. You're okay. You're safe."

In his dream, Harley leans over so that Martin can kiss her. Malcolm lets out a wail before he's pulled out of his dream with a gasp. He finally registers Harley hovering above him. It wasn't real.

Before he can help it, he's crying, the tears spilling down his cheeks.

Harley releases the cuffs and pulls him up to hold him. She cups his face and brushes away his tears with her thumbs.

"Hey, come back. You're safe. You with me, Malcolm?"

"Yeah," he says, his voice choked with tears. Malcolm's trembling as he holds on to her tightly, one of his hands buried in her hair.

He takes a deep shaky breath before he tells her what he was dreaming about. "It was you and my father. You'd met... a-and you decided that you wanted to be with him instead."

It's ridiculous now that he says it out loud, but when he was in it, he was so terrified of the idea of losing her.

She holds him just as tightly, rubbing his back and kissing his face as he comes down.

"That's not going to happen," she tells him, knowing full well that nightmare logic doesn't deal with facts. "I'm yours for keeps."

Malcolm knows that's true, but he's still shaking. The nightmare was so real, hitting on something that he's feared for so long.

"You said that he was more your type and he said that I wasn't good enough for you," Malcolm says quietly.

Even if she might not think that's true, sometimes he feels it anyway.

Harley cups his face and turns it towards hers. "Honey, if anything you're too good for me." She kisses his forehead.

"I love you. I'm not going anywhere."

Malcolm pulls her close and hugs her tightly as the tears start to flow again. She's here with him and it was just a stupid nightmare, but it was the most vivid one he'd had in a while.

"I'm sorry I'm so broken," he whispers. "Having to sleep like this." All he wants it to be the best man that he can be for her.

Harley keeps rubbing his back and pressing kisses to his skin. "We sleep in the same bed, holding each other. That's nothing to apologize for."

She doesn't try to assure him that he isn't broken. They both know better than that. The two of them are together in large part because they're broken

Their broken pieces fit together somehow. The picture might not be a masterpiece, but it's still beautiful to him.

Malcolm pulls back to look at her, his big blue eyes filled with tears. "I never thought I'd be able to do that with anyone."

"Yeah well," Harley brushes her fingers over the wetness on his cheeks and kisses him on the nose, "I'm kind of an exception in a lot of ways."

She sits back to let him have space, now that he's getting back his composure, but keeps on hand on him, lightly rubbing his arm.

"Should I make some coffee? Since we're up anyway."

"You're very exceptional," he says with a thin smile. That's part of what he loves about her.

Malcolm rubs at his eyes. "Sure. Can we still cuddle though?" After that nightmare, he needs to feel close to her and have the reassurance that she's his.

"We can always cuddle."

She gives him one more quick kiss before slipping out of bed and heading to the kitchen. His open, industrial apartment is a total bummer design-wise, but she does like being able to keep an eye on him while she putters around.

Malcolm grins and watches her walk into the kitchen. She might not be happy with the design of his apartment, but he's very happy to watch her move around wearing only one of his old Harvard T-shirts. How can she be so adorable and so sexy at the same time?

Soon the coffee is percolating and the apartment is filled with a delightful smell. "How has your job been going, by the way?"

Harley can feel him watching and flips the bottom of the shirt up to give him a quick peek of her butt before stepping behind the counter. She leans her elbows on the flat surface while waiting for the brew to finish.

When he asks about her work, she groans and drops her head into her hands. So, maybe not great.

"They're using my ideas but not letting me do anything. All I've done is watch other people's interviews, and they aren't even good at it. We can't actually use anything when the researcher is just getting played." She glares into the middle distance. "Lend me an axe. I'm gonna stage a coup."

"You have an adorable ass," he tells her. As if she doesn't know.

Malcolm props up the pillows so that he can sit up in bed. He's still wearing the cuffs because he hopes to be able to go back to sleep later tonight and he'd rather not have to rebuckle them on again.

"Why not?" Malcolm asks with a furrowed brow when she mentions that they won't let her do any interviews.

Harley gives him a look as she tries to figure out if he's just messing with her, but Malcolm isn't like that. He honestly doesn't see any reason why her involvement with the project might be a problem.

Bless his heart.

"Because I'm Harley fucking Quinn. They'll take my name off as soon as they think they can get away with it, you'll see." She pours two mugs, hers almost more milk and sugar than coffee. "Honestly, I kinda get the feeling that board member actually offered me the job because he thought I'd give him a very special thank you."

She sighs and brings the mugs over to the bed.

Malcolm sighs, feeling naive. He almost asks why they hired her if they're not going to actually let her do anything.

"That's not right," he says, taking the mug of coffee from her. Of course, she made his just the way he likes it. "I'd tell you to quit, but... it's the first job you've had in so long."

He wonders if his father could grease the wheels a little bit, talk to people who would then allow Harley to do her job. Malcolm hates himself immediately after this thought.

Harley unlocks one of his wrists so she can cuddle up under his arm.

"Well, you wanted me to quit crime, so it's this or. I dunno. Porn." She shrugs and takes a sip of coffee. "I get fucked either way."

"Yeah, no," he says, pulling her in close to him.

Malcolm is silent for a moment before sighing and sharing what he's thinking. "My father could probably pull some strings, as crazy as that sounds. I still don't want to involve him though."

He doesn't want Martin Whitly anywhere near Harley where he might start to influence her or twist his crimes to make them sound less horrible than they are.

She kisses him on the cheek before leaning on his shoulder. "I'll figure something out," she promises. It's probably best if he doesn't know any details.

Harley is quiet for a moment. "Maybe I ... should meet him, though? If you're gonna be worried about it happening, then probably better to get it over with."

He leans his head back against the headboard, slowly exhaling before taking another sip of coffee. "I'm honestly kind of shocked that he hasn't reached out to me yet about meeting you, because I guarantee that he knows who you are. Maybe it's because he knows my answer will be no and he's trying to find some other leverage or set it up so that he runs into you anyway."

Martin tends to get what he wants and he's got all the time in the world to scheme. When it comes to somebody close to Malcolm, Martin absolutely would want to meet them.

"You have a point though," he adds reluctantly. Maybe he can set up the meeting so that he can control as many aspects of it as possible.

"Then don't let him get the leverage. Beat him to the punch. Take the control away."

Harley shifts her legs over Malcolm's lap and pushes his hair back. His father is a difficult topic and taking him on in a power struggle that could either help Malcolm feel more confident or completely blow up in their faces. There isn't a lot of middle ground when it comes to Martin.

"He'll be a smug asshole about getting what he wants, but part of him will hate that he didn't get to pull off some grand puppet show."

Malcolm nods, thinking that over. "I'd rather be there when he meets you anyway."

That way, Martin can't control the narrative. Not that Harley is a fool who will believe whatever comes out of Martin's mouth, but Malcolm can still shut it down quickly if he's in the room. If they don't plan something, Martin will have enough time to figure out whatever he's concocting and then will spring it on them. Malcolm would rather be the one in control.

"It's going to be fine," she promises with a kiss.

She doesn't know for certain that Martin won't twist the knife once he has a chance to be in the same room with his son, but she does know for certain that she will kick his ass if Malcolm so much as flinches.

"We'll swing by for a few minutes and get it over with, then we can come back here and I'll spend the rest of the day reminding you whose girl I am."

He can't help the smile that curls on his face.

"I'll call him tomorrow.. or later today, I guess." Malcolm sighs. He does not love having to call his father. "He's going to turn every bit of his charm on you in order to try and convince you that he isn't a bad guy."

"Why, so he has time to tidy the place up first?" She shakes her head. Absolutely not. "You don't owe him any courtesy."

"You want to just show up?" Malcolm raises an eyebrow and smiles deviously at her. "He'll be so unexpectedly pleased. And suspicious."

It might be good to keep The Surgeon on his toes for once though. That way he won't be able to plan anything. Not that his father isn't good at thinking on his feet, but it's still better to get him in that state of mind rather than when he has a calculated plan of attack.

"Who gives a flying fuck what he'll think? We're doing this for you."

Harley doesn't give a hoot about The Surgeon one way or the other, but she cares about putting Malcolm's worries to rest. He has too much trauma to bear alone and she wants to help where possible, especially when it comes to telling his shitty dad to fuck off.

Is it awful she kind of hopes for a chance to beat his ass?

He laughs, his smile turning to a grin. "I love you." He puts his free hand on the back of her head and draws her closer so that he can kiss her forehead. Harley actually wonders why he thinks she's amazing?

"I guess we're paying a visit to Claremont tomorrow," Malcolm says.

Harley closes her eyes with a smile when he kisses her, and stays as close as he drew her in.

"Today, technically. Hell, we could go now." Staff doesn't need to worry about regular business hours or visitor passes. "That would really take him by surprise."

She doesn't actually make a move to go. The cuddles are too good to give up.

Malcolm has no intention of getting out of this bed right now. "I don't think they take visitors at 3AM, even if you do have a badge." He brushes her hair back from her face.

"Sometimes I can't believe that I found someone like you," he tells her. There are so many things that make them perfect for each other. Malcolm never thought he'd find someone who could understand what he's been through and be there for him like she is.

Harley knows full well Malcolm bends the rules as much as she does, but she's happy not to stay in this bed as long as he's in it. She turns her face to kiss his hand and nuzzles against his palm.

"Samesies. Nobody's ever been so good to me." He's the only one who gets to see her be so soft. Harley sometimes feels like her heart could burst whenever he's around. She still has a suspicion that he's going to break her heart eventually, but he's worth the risk.

He loves her soft side and loves that he's the only one who gets to see it. Harley is special to him, despite all of their difference. Malcolm feels that there's enough to keep them together.

Eventually, he's able to sleep for another fitful few hours before waking up to go through his morning routine. Harley sleeps on while he does his yoga and meditation, then takes his pills.

Harley likes to take her time in the mornings, just lazing in bed for ages after she wakes up. Who needs to do yoga when she can crack open one eye and watch him go through the poses while still snuggled up in bed? Truly, a perfect way to start the day.

She slips out of bed as he lines up his medication and hugs him from behind. "Hi," she murmurs sleepily as she kisses his the back of his neck.

"Good morning," he says with a smile, then turns to kiss her properly. Malcolm loves waking up to her every day. "Do you need to take a shower?"

After his yoga, he needs to wash up before getting dressed. Malcolm tosses one of his pills back and chases it with a drink of water.

"Mmhm." She doesn't move toward the shower yet, taking a moment or two to nuzzle into his hair. Malcolm is her cup of coffee. "Quick one. I need a lot of time to get ready. I'm going all out today."

After all, meeting the parents is a big occasion. If they're going to start playing power games with a serial killer, there's no better opening move than going full Harley Fucking Quinn.

His smile grows wider. "I can't wait to see what you pick out," he replies. "You shower first. It won't take me that long to get ready afterwards." Malcolm will put on one of his suits, but they're all dry cleaned to perfection in his closet so no prep work is needed.

His pills swallowed, he stands up to put on some coffee for the two of them.

Harley gives him one more little kiss before slipping away for a shower, peeling off his Harvard shirt as she goes. She washes quickly and roughly towels off before emerging naked as the day she was born.

"All yours, hot stuff," she chirps as she goes to set out her outfit and makeup. Something tasteful and classy. Skintight striped pants, hot pink bralette, long silver sequined coat, and killer heels. She pairs it with a subtle daytime look of hot pink eyeshadow, silver glitter eyeliner, black lipstick and a few artfully placed rhinestones.

"Would a collar be too much, do you think?"

Malcolm playfully grabs her ass as he heads into the bathroom to take a shower. He comes out smelling like musk and dries off before pulling on a pair of boxers. Standing in front of the mirror, he brushes his teeth and then runs the electric razor over his face, just enough to cut down any excess growth to his permanent 5 o'clock shadow.

He emerges in a three-piece suit, charcoal gray with small navy stripes. When he sees Harley, he can't help but smile. This is what she picks to meet her boyfriend's father. Granted, this isn't a typical meeting. When she met Jessica, he was very concerned about her choice of outfit. For Martin, he could give a fuck. Frankly, she can make whatever impression she wants. Besides, this is who she is. There's no changing her now.

Malcolm gives her a once over. "Depends. Which collar is it?"

Harley gives him a once over as well and changes her lipstick to a deep plum color instead. It will look better smudged on his collar later.

She holds up the collar for his approval. It's a length of chain loaded with dangling charms, the centerpiece of which is a pink glittering bone-shaped dog tag that reads BRUCE. Of course she and the hyena have matching accessories. They are the true couple goals.

He gives her a nod of approval. "It's cute," he says. His expectation had been something more bondage-y looking, so this is perfect.

"Although, I'm kind of sad that you don't have a charm that says 'Malcolm'," he adds teasingly while he fixes his tie.

"You haven't given me one." She fastens the collar around her neck and does a little spin with a flourish at the end to show him the whole look. She rests her hands on his hips and bites gently at his mouth. "You want me to wear your name?"

"I was teasing," he replies. "I wouldn't expect you to do that." She's still marked with Joker's name all over her and Malcolm doesn't feel the need to have that level of possessiveness. All people have to do is ask her and she'll tell them that she's his, just as he is hers.

After making sure his phone and wallet are in his briefcase, he turns back to Harley and takes a deep breath. "Ready?"

"Ready." Harley twines their fingers together and brings his hand to her lips for a kiss. He looks perfectly put together but she knows how much of a mess he must be inside. That's alright. She can be confident enough for both of them.

They hold hands the entire ride to Claremont, only parting to pass through security and pick up a visitor pass for Malcolm. Harley insists that Mr. David not be told about the visit ahead of time. She doesn't want Martin to have even an inkling of what's about to hit him.

The metal door to his cell makes a satisfying clang when she practically kicks it open. "Give us the room, Dave," she demands with a flash of her staff credentials.

He's glad to have her with him, as always. Nobody makes him feel more confident in himself than Harley does.

Mr. David, for his part, looks nonplussed as he leaves the room. How much Whitly family drama has he observed over the years? Too much to count. He could probably write a book.

Malcolm feels his hand start to shake as he and Harley stand before his father. Martin looks up from his desk, where a series of anatomical drawings are laid out. "Dr. Whitly," Malcolm says.

Martin stands up, a look of complete shock and amusement on his face. "Well, isn't this a wonderful surprise. My boy, it's always so good to see you. And you've brought a guest this time." He looks at Harley as if he doesn't know exactly who she is.

Harley doesn't look at Martin at all. She slips her hands into her jacket pockets and looks around the room, giving a low whistle. "Fuck me, this cell is nicer than my apartment."

It's like this hospital has never had an audit. She doesn't even hesitate to cross over the red line in confident strides to take a lap around the room, still ignoring Martin until she's right next to him. Then she sticks out her hand for a shake and introduces herself with every ounce of cheer and good charm she can muster. Which is just so, so much.

"So nice to finally meet you, Marvin."

Malcolm puts up a hand and nearly stops her before she goes over the red line, but then he remembers who she is. Harley would destroy him if he put a hand on her. Malcolm would too.

Martin graciously takes her hand in his, having watched her warily as she took her own tour of his cell. "Martin Whitly," he tells her. "It's so lovely to meet you." He turns back towards Malcolm. "To what do I owe this unexpected visit?"

"Harley is my girlfriend," Malcolm tells him, sharing information that his father definitely knows. "We decided to just pull the Band-Aid off and introduce the two of you since you know she's working here at Claremont. That way you won't have to try some ridiculous scheme to get the two of you alone."

Harley squeezes Martin's hand with surprising strength before letting go and flipping through the papers left out on his desk. She isn't looking for anything in particular and seems unimpressed with everything she sees. Really, she just wants to get her grubby hands on all his nice things. She even manages to smudge a spot of wet ink across a crucial part of his notes. Find the precise way to be the most annoying in any circumstance is her secret power.

She makes a dismissive noise and walks back to Malcolm's side. "Meeting you is easy mode after brunching with Jessica."

"Scheme?" Martin asks. "Now why would I do that?"

Malcolm watches Martin as he observes Harley moving around, picking up his drawings and other papers. He can see the mild annoyance in his father's eyes, though he hides it well. "If you're interested in my work, I'm happy to show you," he tells Harley.

Martin observes both of them from across the line, his eyes landing on Harley. "Well, that's to be expected. My Jess can be very scrutinizing." He smiles. "I'm not nearly as... critical."

Harley's fingers twitch at Martin's placement of "my" before Jessica. She could tear his eyes out right now, but Jessica wouldn't thank her for it. Harley knows how it feels when someone else fights an ex on her behalf. It's only satisfying if you get the win for yourself.

Instead, she smiles sweetly. "Twenty years locked up sure has a way of lowering one's standards, I'd imagine." There's still enough of a doctor in her that she can look down her nose at Martin even when they're standing at equal height.

Despite the divorce, Martin will always see Jessica as 'his'. She can try to escape him fully, but she never will.

Martin shrugs a pair of handcuffed hands. "I'd like to think I've never been the critical one, wouldn't you say, my boy?"

Malcolm exhales slowly. "It's hard to be critical of others when you're a serial killer," he replies.

Harley places her hand between Malcolm's shoulders. A reassuring pressure.

"His opinion doesn't matter anyway." She's talking past Martin again.

"I'm curious why you came if my opinion doesn't matter," Martin says.

"I told you," Malcolm replies. "To foil whatever plan you cooked up to get Harley alone. She's not a damsel in distress, but she still doesn't need to be cornered by you."

"Oh, I'm quite aware she's not a damsel," Martin says, taking a seat in his chair and leaning back in it. "I dare say she and I probably have more in common than you two do."

A shiver goes down Malcolm's spine and he clenches his hand to keep it from shaking.

"Sure, Marv, we're two peas in a pod. Except for how your family actually likes me." Her tone is still light and breezy, but there's an edge to her expression that shows how happy she would be to demonstrate their common ground.

Harley slips an arm around Malcolm's middle and squeezes. She's with him. She picked his side.

"I needed to swing by the office to take care of some business. Thought we'd pop in for a quick hello." She shrugs. "So since we've done that, we can get back to our plans. Big day. Lots to do out there."

Martin laughs at that. "Oh, yes, I'm sure Jessica's your biggest fan." He gives a subtle once over to her rather loud outfit. "As we established, she's quite judgy. I'm not."

Malcolm holds Harley to him. "This isn't a social call, Dr. Whitly," he says. "We're leaving."

Harley flips the good doctor double birds on their way out the room and takes a moment to apologize to Mr. David for the upcoming temper tantrum after slamming the door shut.

She slings an arm around Malcolm's shoulders and leans against him.

"You good, babe?"

Martin follows them as far as the lead will allow him, staring after them through the window in the door. "Pity you're leaving so soon," Martin says, looking at Harley. "I was going to offer my assistance to you with your work. I understand you've been interviewing Peter Smithson."

Malcolm glances at his father and then back at Harley, wondering how she'll react to that. "Yeah. Are you?"

Edited 2020-07-22 01:19 (UTC)

Harley doesn't pay Martin's parting shot any mind. He's already dead to her. Peter Smithson runs his mouth for anyone who will listen, and it's no surprise word of her work has reached Martin.

"Me? I'm peachy." She kisses Malcolm on the cheek. "I think that went well, don't you?"

"Hey!" Martin calls after them, the facade falling. "Don't you dare leave yet. I have questions and you know I'll get my answers. Don't think you're going to date my son without my blessing."

Malcolm squeezes Harley's hand and does not turn around to look at his father's tantrum behind them. He just keeps walking, focusing on the door in front of them.

Harley really intended to ignore Martin, but she can't help but react at him falling apart so predictably, so fast. Her laugh is loud and brash, echoing through the hall. That sound will be ringing in his ears for some time after. She has to lean against the wall once they're through the door before her knees buckle from cackling too hard.

The way she laughs sends a shiver up his spine and he wonders, for a brief second, if he just saw Harley the way she was when she was with Joker. Was her cackling just an act for Martin's benefit or did she forget herself for a moment.

Malcolm wraps his arms around her so that she doesn't fall to the ground. "Are you alright?" he asks, brow furrowed.

Harley slips her arms around him and pulls him in for a kiss. She's high off the win, and the tension of a fight in the air needs somewhere to go now that she didn't get an excuse to beat Martin to a pulp.

"I am great. But what about you?"

"Fine," he replies, returning the kiss. He's not actually sure how he is after all that, but it could probably have gone worse. When Malcolm looks down at his hand, it's still shaking. He runs the trembling hand through his hair.

Maybe he's not fine.

Harley clocks that tremble and takes his hand in hers.

"Let's go home."

She leads him out of the building and hails a cab. She guesses he won't want to open up with a stranger in the car so she waits until they get home to press him.

"Talk to me. What are you feeling?"

Malcolm hates that he's panicking. He holds her hand in the cab the whole way home and sits down on the couch as soon as he's back in the apartment.

"It's... the yelling," he says. Malcolm has faced down a hundred serial killers who have yelled far worse things at him and he's hardly batted an eyelash. Martin Whitly is the only one who gets under his skin, and for obvious reasons. "And then you laughed, and..."

"My laugh?" She sits next to him and puts one hand on his back and the other on his thigh. She doesn't see what her laugh has to do with it. And, it had been funny, hadn't it? Sometimes it's hard for her to know.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have suggested it."

Malcolm shakes his head. "No, it was good. It needed to be done." He doesn't regret it, even if it had triggered a panic attack in him. That's just how it is sometimes after he visits his father.

"Your laugh was just... maniacal sounding, though it was probably just me. I was already upset after he suggested he I needed his approval to date you."

It's honestly stupid. Martin probably can't do anything to them, but he still has a mental hold over Malcolm after all this time.

"We don't need his approval for jack shit."

She wants to pull him into her arms and hold him the rest of the day, but she doesn't want to overwhelm him. Especially when she worries she was part of what set him off.

"Were you ... scared of me?"

He furrows his brow. "Not... exactly. It was just kind of shocking after dealing with my father." Malcolm looks up at her. "When I heard you laugh like that, for some reason it made me think of when you used to be with Joker."

Not that he really knew her then, but that crazy laugh had to be related to that time in her life. Even if he wasn't afraid of her, it was still chilling.

She sighs when she thinks of her time with the Joker, and it's not entirely regretful. "He did make me laugh like that," she murmurs, almost to herself. There had been good times. Well, good for them. Not for anyone caught in their storm.

"I didn't stop being that person. I'm...trying. To be less..." She stops and furrows her brow, chews on her lip. It's hard to explain, and maybe not the time.

Malcolm squeezes her hand. He knows she had some good times with him. She wouldn't have stayed with him if it was all bad.

"I know." He nods. "You're trying very hard. I don't fault you for your past, Harley." His eyes turn up towards her then. "It's okay."

Harley smooths his hair back with her free hand and presses her lips to his temple. It's not as okay as he says, and she could be trying harder, but that's not the conversation they need to be having right now.

"Do you want me to grab your pills?"

"Yeah." He hates having to take them when he gets like this, but at least when Harley's around, it's more bearable. While he loves being strong for her and being her protector, he knows he doesn't need to be that to her all the time. He can show vulnerability around her and she won't love him less.

After she gets his pills and he takes one, he sighs and pulls her in close again, tucking her head under his chin. "Thanks. For today."

Harley wraps her arms around him and rubs his back. She's happy to be held by him anytime, even when he needs to be the one comforted.

"Sure, I'll sass your dad anytime you want, no prob. I'm real good at it." Martin has set up quite a comfortable routine for himself. It's high time somebody inconvenienced him.

She's more comforting than she gives herself credit for. Malcolm can't help but think that she's always been that way, even if she insists that she's not a nice person.

"You are really good at it," he agrees with a small smile. "I think he likes you though."

"Everybody likes me," she asserts despite all evidence to the contrary. Universally liked people have not had nearly so many attempts on their lives, but she tends to figure if she survived then they didn't really mean it.

"Probably the next time he tries to talk to me," and there will be a next time. Martin is too clever to be avoided forever. "He'll have some bullshit speech ready about what could have been if he'd been my patient instead of the Joker. I get that one a lot. It's super boring." Narcissists tend to love the idea of having someone find them so irresistibly amazing that they can't help but follow their every whim like a loyal dog. She's been sent a lot of "fan" letters.

"I'd say we're about equal when it comes to likability," Malcolm answers, meaning that both of them are an acquired taste. Their strangeness is part of what keeps them together.

He gives her a slight raise of an eyebrow. "If that's his way of hitting on you, then I'll stab him myself. Again." Malcolm can be a little possessive when it comes to the beautiful woman in his lap, especially where his father is concerned. That nightmare had sickened him. He'd rather die than see Harley with his father.

Harley raises her brows and her lips quirk into a little smile. "I probably shouldn't think that's one of the hottest things you've said to me, huh?" She kisses the corner of his mouth and rubs the back of his neck.

"It's got nothing to do with me, just stroking their own egos. Nothing to worry about."

"You're allowed to think it's hot," he says. "I understand why." And while he still doesn't think he has it in him to kill, if his father tried to do anything to Harley Malcolm would definitely hurt him. Even if she can protect herself, he still feels protective towards the woman he loves.

"As long as that's the only thing he's stroking," Malcolm murmurs, turning his head to nuzzle her cheek. "You're mine."

"Yours," she practically purrs in answer. Her arms slip around him and her fingers grip the back of his jacket. "Nobody else's, just for you."

"That's right," he whispers. "All mine."

Malcolm holds her close, feeling her heart beat against his chest. His fingers stroke through her hair. "I love you," Malcolm tells her. He never thought he could love someone as much as he loves her.

"I love you, too." She kisses him sweetly. "We don't have any plans for the rest of the day. Do you want to try and make up on some of that lost sleep?"

"I probably ought to," he says with a sigh. "You know, I think I've been getting more sleep since you started sharing a bed with me."

Correlation may not be causation though, at least not directly. Malcolm thinks Harley is the reason he's getting more sleep and having less nightmares. He hasn't ever been this happy before in his life and it's having a positive influence on him.

"Yep, 'cuz I've been drugging you." She smirks and drops another kiss on the end of his nose before getting off his lap. She pulls him up with her and pushes his jacket off his shoulders. "I'll cuddle with you until you fall asleep."

"Sedatives don't work on me," he says with a smile. If he could dope himself into having dreamless sleep, he'd have done it a long time ago.

Malcolm goes along with her and lets her start to undress him. "That sounds like a fantastic idea."

Harley leads him to bed and then keeps gently fussing over him, leaning down to help him take off his shoes and helping him get comfortable before lying down next to him.

"How are you doing now? Less shaky?"

He nods, blushing a little as she takes off his shoes and helps get him ready for a nap. Malcolm used to dread naps, but with improvements with his sleep, naps aren't so bad now.

Since she seems so keen on taking care of him, he hands her his cuffs to put on him. Harley is probably the only other person he trusts to put them on him and subsequently see him in what he considers to be a vulnerable state.

"I'm trying not to think about him any more for now," he tells her.

"Good," she says as she fastens the restraints around his wrists. "He's not worth thinking about." She kisses his forehead, cheek, nose, before finally landing on his lips and settling in to cuddle him until he relaxes. "Can I do anything for you?"

He's tempted to jokingly ask for a blow job, but he knows Harley might actually give him one and he's honestly pretty tired. Malcolm brushes her hair back and shakes his head.

"Just cuddle with me," he says, pressing another kiss to her lips. Right now, that would be just as nice as any kind of sexual activity. "Oh, and wake me up if Gil calls." Malcolm doesn't want to miss a murder.

"Your wish is my command," she teases, although she really would do anything he asked of her. She tucks herself against his side with her head on his shoulder, and rubs slow circles on his chest.

"I'll remember that," he murmurs as he closes his eyes. Fortunately for Harley, he would never ask her to do anything she wasn't okay with.

Her touch and presence are soothing to him and it's not long until he drifts off to sleep. Fortunately this time, it stays dreamless.

((from here))

[ It was closer to two hours before Harley arrived at his door with four coffees (one for her, three for him) and a bag full of bagels (plenty to share with his crows) with his cigarettes were tucked into her back pocket. There had been a line, and she'd met several dogs along the way that she simply had to stop and pet.

She didn't want to stoop and put something down to free up her hands, so she kicked awkwardly at the door with a rubber toed sneaker. ]

Little pig, little pig, let me come in!

Edited 2020-07-31 21:54 (UTC)

[ Two hours was good, two hours gave him time to find his cleanest dirty shirt, realize he didn't charge his watch so it went on the charger. His wrist always felt off without a watch. And time to straighten up. This place was less apartment and more lab with a bedroom and a couch.

Hearing the kick the sound, the door opened, no real sound of walking before hand just, the door open to messy haired Crane in jeans with white button up just off one button with the two two left open and sleeves rolled to his elbows, and Halloween socks. ]

I was starting to worry.

[ He spoke in greeting as he stepped aside.]

[ Halloween socks! She could melt.

She followed him in and pushed the door closed as she handed him the cardboard coffee holder. Knowing Jon, that would be his first priority. ]

Took a detour. Where's my hello kiss?

[ Black with orange little jack'o lanterns. He had to keep to his spooky brand.

Taking the coffee once they reached the living room, which was a desk covered in notes, a couch and the flickering muted television. He turned taking the coffee, proving her right as he took a drink. That was just what he needed. Though at her words, he leaned in to give her that greeting kiss, luckily, he brushed his teeth before she came. ]

The scenic route?

I met sooo many puppies!

[ She set the bagels down, took the cigarettes out of her pocket and tossed them on the desk too. Then she could slide her arms around his neck and give him a proper kiss, immediately followed by several more kisses. ]

Are you still mad?

Isn't your Hyena enough, darling? Must you converse with every cute creature?

[ he was amused by it, keeping the coffee in one hand when she sat everything down, looping the free arm around her waist before kissing her back properly. The extra kisses he returned a little off rhythm but he's learning. ]

No, I don't believe I could stay cross if I wanted to. Not when you've word so hard to right the wrong. Are you still lonely?

You know I must.

[ Now she'd learned that even when he said not to do something, she could do it anyway as long as she was sweet after. The wrong lesson has been learned. ]

A little bit less lonely, now. How long do I get you to myself before you go back to work?

[ As if called by cute pets, a caw comes from the half opened window, Nightmare appearing and calling towards them. Jonathan didn't spare the bird much of a look, just giving a whistle to let the bird know he noticed him. Nightmare was already making his way to that bag. He smells food.

The wrong lesson was learned, but he might not be to mad about it.]

About three hours, I have to meet Jervis. We are planning a heist together if he doesn't get caught first. He's found a new Alice.

[ He explained as he planted another kiss on her forehead and took a drink of his coffee.]

Until then though, I am at your beck and call.

That's not a lot of time.

[ Harley pulled a face at the mention of Jervis. She couldn't help it. He was probably Jonathan's best friend, but it wasn't easy being blonde when Jervis got into one of his Alice hunting moods.

She turned away to get a bagel for Nightmare and start ripping it into chunks so he could snack easier, but she wasn't fast enough to hide that expression. ]

Who did most of the planning?

[ No offense to Jerv -- Okay, a little offense -- but his planning skills weren't very tight compared to Jonathan. Then again, Harley had a bias. ]

Three hours is plenty of time, more so if he gets himself caught before hand. That is why I made him do the planning. If he is captures it is not as much time wasted.

[ Which is Jonathan for Jervis already had his alice and was probably already on Batman's radar. Going to see Jervis today is a risk, but she was right Jervis probably was his best friend, if not Edward. At least Edward didn't kidnap blondes. Jonathan tried to be a voice of reason but Jervis likes to egg on Scarecrow which usually ends with them feeding off each others madness. ]

I saw that look, darling. Out with it.

[ He spoke as he took a seat on the couch working on the coffee. Nightmare rolled over for her like he was a puppy, before snatching a bit of bagel to snack on. ]

[ She glanced at him and went back to crumbling bagels for Nightmare, making kissy noises for a good birdy. ]

I ain't saying nothing, so long as you don't pick up any dating tips from him.

[ The very last thing she needed was Jervis talking Jonathan or Scarecrow into some Wonderland nonsense when they were still feeling out this new relationship. ]

Don't spoil him too much, you will make Craw jealous.

[ Not that Craw was there right now, but Jonathan was sure Craw was around. His birds always find him. Pushing back off the couch, he carried the coffee over to the desk to lift the cigarettes and move over to the window to push it open more. Smacking the pack against his wrist.]

I may be certifiable, but I am not completely insane. Jervis Tetch, even on a good day, is not someone I would ever speak to about our relationship. To be fair, none of our friends are.

[ As he unwrapped the plastic, Craw came zooming in through the open window to mess up the desk more as he skidded to a stop.]

Then I'll spoil Craw too.

[ A simple solution, and there was the star right on cue. She took another bagel and started pulling chunks off for Craw as well. ]

You don't want anyone to know about us?

[ Because she definitely already told Selina and Ivy. Oops. ]

[ Craw wigged at Nightmare to get where he was so he could take his chunks instead of the ones offered by Harley. These birds have more personality than one would expect of pets of Jonathan Crane.

He arched a brow, cigarette between his lips but unlit. He was lighting it now. He had needed that nicotine. ]

I didn't say that that would make you sound like a dirty secret. Which you are not. I said I wouldn't talk to people. I am not the type to kiss and tell. I don't care if you do.

[ She shrugged and watched the birds sort out their bagel territory. ]

I've been someone's dirty secret before, so if that was what you wanted then I'm used to it already.

[ The Joker had been the high point of her dating history, so at least Jonathan didn't have a high bar to clear. ]

[ He smoked by the window, watching her, reading her again. He could never quiet turn the psychiatrist in him off. ]

You will never be my dirty secret. You deserve better than that, hell, as it is I'm still shocked you'd even want me. So why would I ever hide that?

[ He even offered her one of those rare smiles of his. ]

Tell everyone you want, write it in the sky for all I care. I'm just still set in some old ways from where I grew up, things I, myself, can never shake.

[ Harley arched a brow and tried to decipher how she felt at being read so easily, but then he smiled. She felt special for getting one of those smiles.

She crossed the room, took his face in both hands, and pulled him down for a kiss. ]

Yeah. I like you.

[ He was very good at reading people. Even if he wasn't always good with people.

He holds the cigarette backwards when she took his face blowing the smoke away before he kissed her back. Kissing her a little firmer this time, breaking for air with one word. ]

Good.

So, three hours.

[ And still taking it slow. Christ on a cracker. ]

Wanna watch a movie and tell me all about how the book is better?

Three hours.

[ He tossed the half smoked cigarette out the window, making an amused noise. ]

Actually, I had a better idea. Since we both know the book will always be better. How about you come lay down with me since you refused to let me sleep this morning? The coffee and bagels can reheat later.

First you wanna take it slow and then you invite me to bed?

[ She was only teasing. It was too early yet, and he really was tired. She didn't want him sleepy while trying to avoid a Bat punching in his teeth. ]

It has been nearly a week.

[ He half joked, before shrugging.]

The couch works though, I can dose while you watch TV, and make sure the birds don't choke.

[ He's still randomly looking over to see them eating. He didn't want to lose anymore teeth to Batman, dental work took from his books and chemicals.]

Whichever is more comfortable for you. I'm flexible like that.

[ He moved his arm around her leading her towards the bedroom, of course, it's half filled with boxes of beakers and notebooks, one of Scarecrow's suits and a few of the witchy hats he wears as Scarecrow. The bed is a queen size and had simple black sheets and one pillow, opps. ]

If you want to play with your phone that's fine.

[ he felt he had to say it.]

[ She expected his every room to be full of notebooks and equipment, but she was pleasantly surprised that he had a real bed with real sheets. Her standards really were set too low. ]

I'll mute it. You want me to set an alarm?

[ His bedroom in the house out on the outskirts has a nice bedroom, this one made due, but he tried to at least have a bed in places. He could sleep without it but his back was never happy with less than a real bed.

Laying down across it after pulling his glasses off, and shrugging his bony shoulders.]

No, if I oversleep he will deal.

[ Truth be told, Jervis was being drug to Arkham while they were speaking. His new Alice was a socialite. Batman always seemed to work faster for the rich.]

[ Intellectually, Harley knew that Jonathan was trying to make up for sleep she denied him earlier and smart enough to know going into a job while tired was too dangerous. But she still had a tiny spark of feeling like he would rather cuddle with her than go hang out with Jervis. She picked that one instead, because it felt like winning.

She crawled into bed with him and settled her head on his shoulder, one arm slung across his middle. ]

This is nice.

[ Not exactly comfortable, but still nice. ]

[ If he slept more than a couple hours after sunrise each day he wouldn't be as hard up for sleep, but, he was set in his ways. Nighttime was the right time to be a rogue anyway.

Jonathan was a little concerned his bony body wouldn't be comfortable for her, but he said nothing, simply enjoying the warmth and feel of her there with him.]

Yeah, yeah it is. [ An arm around her idly tracking his nails over her side while he tried to go back to sleep.]

[ She sighed happily and relaxed under his touch. Maybe with a real pillow she could have dozed off with him, but she managed to stay quiet and still until he fell asleep. It was nice watching him so unguarded. She couldn't imagine many people have been able to see his sleeping face so closely.

... But as sweet as it was, it got boring kind of fast so she did pull out her phone and open up game to pass the time until he woke up. ]

[ If he was going to be having her out there more often he would have to invest in more pillows, but for now he was used to being alone. It was why his eyes snapped back open about an hour and a half to two hours later. Jonathan streaching himself out, making far too many bones crack as he yawned.

Definitely a man used to being alone. Settling back down he looked towards her with a tired look of contentment. ]

Still here? [ He only sounded a little shocked. Yet, this was pleasing. ]

[ She glanced up from where she was matching three of the same color cookies to build an explosion chain. Very important work. ]

Well yeah? You didn't kick me out.

I wouldn't kick you out. Not unless you disturb my work.

[ He admitted as he tipped his head trying to see what she was watching but with his glasses off it was just blurs of color.]

[ She thought he tipped his head for a kiss, so she set her phone aside and gave him one. ]

There's still about an hour. You should eat something before heisting.

I suppose I should, you did go to the trouble of bringing me food. I should eat it.

[ He pushed himself up, reaching for his glasses still feeling a little groggy but that was normal for him. ]

[ Harley got on her knees behind him and worked her fingers in the stiff muscles of his shoulders, and dropped a kiss on the back of his neck. ]

Did you get enough of a nap before going to work?

[ He relaxed under he hands, not realizing how stiff his bony shoulders were until she started to work her fingers over the wiry muscle. ]

I'll be fine, I do more on less sleep. You doin' okay?

[ Harley had always been the type to want to take care of her partners, which worked out pretty well since Jonathan barely took care of himself. ]

Sure, I'm just fine. Got to level thirty-two in Cookie Cats!

[ Truly, her greatest accomplishment. She dug her fingers in harder, ready to give as much effort to relax him as she put into her phone game. ]

[ He was terrible about taking care of himself, but he would learn to let her help him out. ]

What exactly is Cookie Cats?

[ He relaxed more in under her hands. He would ask more, but it was easier to just keep sitting and letting her work the stress out of his shoulders.]

[ She kneads out the knots in his back while she puzzles out how to explain the deep lore that is Cookie Cats. ]

You shoot bubbles to rescue cats and feed them cookies to unlock special abilities. Real complex stuff.

[ He lowered his head some, resting his elbows on his knees as he listened to her explained. ]

Do you and Selina both play this?

[ She snorted a laugh. ]

She sent me a Facebook invite so she could get extra cookies.

I assumed when you said cats.

[ He sounded amused as he said it. ]

You both use facebook? Why am I not surprised.

[ After working out the worst of the knots in his muscles, she wrapped her arms around him and leaned against his back with her chin on his shoulder. ]

Fake accounts, for the games and stalking people she plans to rob.

[ He tipped his head back as best as he could to kiss her cheek. ]

That sounds like her, yes. Though, I am surprised you don't own one of those handheld systems.

[ He's not great with tech, but hes seen switch's around.]

I have one of those too. I like a lot of games.

[ She smiled and hugged him tighter. ]

Maybe there's one we can play together. There are lots of scary ones.

Oh darling, I haven't play video games since Tetris was the rage.

[ He chuckled when he said it. He's sure it makes him sound old, but he enjoyed Tetris. ]

I don't mind watching though, I am sure it will be very entertaining.

[ He should be getting up to get ready, but instead he moved his arms behind him in an awkward hug to hold her close.]

[ She crawled around to sit on his lap instead of behind him, to spare his shoulder after she got the stiffness worked out. ]

I bet you could get the hang of it. Maybe you could even get some inspiration!

[ His arms moved around her to hold her in place, looking up at her for once. Oh, he could get used to this. He hadn't realized how lonely he had been until Harley opened a door of possibility.]

Now, that, darlin' sounds like fun.

I got a lot of fun ideas.

[ She wiggled on his lap. ]

I bet I could talk you into a lot of things from here.

[ he pressed his nails in just enough to tease her skin, keeping eye contact while she wigged. His breath hitched a moment. ]

Oh, I've no doubt there.

[ Easiest way to get any man to agree to things, even he knew it. ]

What ideas are you thinkin'?

[ She dipped her head to brush her lips over his ear and nipped at the lobe. ]

Maybe I'll tell you when it's been a week.

Just a day or two off...

[ He muttered, yeah, she was going to be able to wrap the master of fear around her fingers pretty easily. Maybe that was why he avoided relationships before now. ]

Regretting that timeline about now?

[ She stood from his lap and took his hand to pull him up after her. ]

Come on, you gotta get ready for your big night out.

Not at all, and yes at the same time. The anticipation will make it worth it darling.

[ He did love being teased even when he wanted the instant gratification.

Taking her hand, he moved up. a few bones popping again, as he lead them towards where the costume was already hanging up]

I will try to be back as soon as I can.

[ Harley leaned against the wall, apparently not considering for a moment that he might prefer privacy before he got changed. ]

I'll go home and take care of Bruce while you and Jerv have your li'l date. Call me when you're done and tell me how it went?

You surely know I will.

[ And he certainly gave her a look before shaking his head and taking his jeans off, to switch for the black tighter pants that go under the black spooky top. The shirt stayed since Burlap is not a wonderful feel on a bare chest. Once those were on, he grabbed up the knee high boots and leaned on the wall to start pulling them on.]

Can you grab that hat next to you?

[ The straw wig already stitched into it. ]

Edited 2020-08-08 00:15 (UTC)

[ She wolf whistled while he changed his jeans for work pants. It was practically a reflex, no helping it. She picked up his hat and almost passed it to him, before getting another idea and holding it behind her back. ]

I'll trade it to you for a kiss.

[ He rolled his eyes.]

Oh yes, my bony legs, quite the sight.

[ He had to say it as he stepped closer, only once he zipped up the boots, they added another two inches on his height.]

I suppose I could do that. [ Leaning in to steal a quick kiss.]

[ Harley put one hand on the back of his neck to deepen the kiss and put his hat on with the other hand. ]

Very handsome.

You, my darlin' are very biased already.

[ He looked amused all the same. He'd have to put his mask on soon but for now he was mostly put together. ]

Come on, we can walk out together.

You like my bi-ass.

[ She straightened the noose on his costume like a perfect wifey straighening hubby's tie before he heads to the office for a regular ol' 9-5 behind a desk. ]

Never denied that, Dr. Quinzel.

[ He leaned in and kissed her forehead, while she fixed his noose. It should be odd but it was nice in a strange way.]

Remember to lock up when you head out, okay?

[ Making a mental note to get her keys made, as he was heading towards the door. ]

I will. Oh wait, wait.

[ She caught his arm and pushed a cup of coffee and the bag of bagels into his hands. ]

Eat this on your way.

[ He turned around long enough to take the bagels and coffee, leaning in to kiss her quickly on the lips this time. ]

Thank you, darlin'. I'll call later.

[ Jonathan didn't wake up from her scratches, or an errent alarm on his phone, no it was Nightmare pecking at the window he forgot to leave open that had him sitting up, untangling himself from Harley and letting the birds in. Both made their way to the pillows for their morning nap.

Jonathan moved back to the bed to kiss Harley's forehead. Jotting a quick note he left it on the pillow, simply saying he was downstairs making coffee. Which of course he had to find his jeans first and deal with all the joys of waking up a quick shave.

He was leaning in the kitchen reading over one of his books whole the coffee was brewing. His back was burning from the claw marks he didn't remember her getting that rough, but he was far too relaxed to care. He just wanted the coffee to hurry up so he could take it upstairs. Wanting to bring her some before she woke. He doubted that would happen. Though, the old coffee pot was taking it's sweet time. ]

[ Harley whined when he got out of bed and shoved her head under a pillow in protest of daylight existing. She forced herself up after a few minutes of nobody cuddling her and whined again, louder, just in case that fixed it. When nothing was magically changed she got out of bed and stumbled to the shower where the water helped wake her up.

Once she felt fresh, she pulled on her dress and went to find him downstairs. Her hair was still damp and her face clean of garish makeup. She wore bite marks around her collarbone like a necklace. ]

Hi.

[ He had only just finished pouring two cups of coffee, one in a black mug that proclaimed 'tears of my students' the other one purple with a jack-o-lantern face on it. He was only in his jeans, his skin nice and marked up.

His eyes widened as he held the orange cup her.]

Mornin' beautiful. I was 'bout to try and wake you up. [ His eyes taking in the bruises sure, but he'd never seen her without make up before. Something about that made their relationship really seem real suddenly.]

[ She took the cup in one hand and put her other hand on his hip to slide it up his side. She needed to touch him to assure herself he was still here, that this was a real thing. ]

How are you feeling? Last night was a workout.

[ Even Harley was sore, but in a yummy satisfied way. She could still feel the tingle in her thighs when she thought about last night. ]

Do you remember any of what happened after you went to sleep?

[ Unlike Scarecrow, Jon didn't jolt or giggle. Somehow he wasn't ticklish like Scarecrow was. Though he did keep that rare content look on his features. The night before had helped him unwind, while part of him had ideas to work on the toxin for, the smart part of him knew the basement was off limits right now. ]

Mmmhmm, hadn't realized how much. Feel like I've been running.

[ Stepping closer he pressed his lips to her forehead, before taking a drink of his coffee. ]

...After I went to sleep? [ His eyes went wide then as he looked at her concerned. ] He came out?

[ She closed her eyes and hummed in contentment as he kissed her forehead, and leaned against the counter. She sipped the coffee before nodding and trailing her fingers over the marks Scarecrow left. ]

It was fun, once he started minding his manners.

[ Looking at the mark as she trailed her fingers over it. Another drink taken from his coffee as he looked a little concerned. Strange to feel jealous over part of himself, and yet he did. It was an issue he would have to fight with Scarecrow over not her. ]

I don't know what to say to that, I feel like I should apologize but, you seem pleased. Scarecrow tends to never mind his manners, it is why I actually take the medication Leland prescribed.

[ He changed the dose himself since he liked to be able to hear Scarecrow.]

About that. [ She set her cup down and hopped up on the counter for a seat, swinging her legs. ] Scarecrow asked me to dump out your meds. Among some other things. I think he knows better now.

I see.

[ He looked cross hearing it, another drink taken. As he nodded. ]

Thank you for handling that. Do I want to know what the other things he asked about are?

Mmmmm, nothing much. He called me a slut and then was really bad at sex, so I took the lead.

[ It took one hell of a woman to boss Scarecrow around. She reached out to smooth her fingers over his hair with a fond smile. ]

You're not jealous, are you?

He called you... [ Oh yes, Scarecrow's getting yelled at when Jonathan gets some time alone. Probably when he goes out to smoke later, he usually does so inside, but not with company. ] Of course, he is darlin', I don't allow him the chance. I guess that is why my back feels like it's on fire?

[ Those scratches stung, at least scars from her would be better than the scars of his youth. ]

Yeah, a bit, but that's my problem, and one that would have to come up in time anyway.

[ Two people in one body, it would either end well or not.]

[ Harley slid off the counter, took his face in both hands, and pulled him down for a slow sweet kiss. ]

You were better.

[ He hadn't expected it, but he should have. Kissing her in return, he didn't try to pull away, simply gave her a content look. Much better than his normal disinterest most get.]

Well, one less thing to worry about. Next time will be better anyway.

[ He's still a little embarrassed he got off before her.]

[ She didn't hold that against him. It was their first time together and he never stood a chance. Her pussy was just too bomb. ]

I'll have to start bringing Bruce with me if these sleepovers are gonna be a regular thing.

[ He wouldn't be able to argue that. ]

That's fine, as long as he doesn't hurt the bird's I don't mind at all.

[ Sure, he didn't know a lot about hyenas, but he'd learn. He did love learning new things.]

I'm not always here, but you are always welcome.

[ He moved then to look in the fridge to see if he had anything at all he could offer. A busy night and all, he was actually hungry.]

I don't think it'll be a problem as long as he eats before coming over. He's pretty lazy.

[ She kissed him again, because he was here. Because she could. ]

I should go take care of him. But maybe I could come back later, after you get some work done? And maybe stay the night again?

[ Yeah, she knows where his heart really lies. ]

That's my only concern, so, yes, feel free to bring him.

[ Closing the fridge, he kissed her back. He could easily get used to that. ]

That sounds like a wonderful plan. I do have a bit of work to finish, but I will keep tonight free for you.

[ They both knew the work will always come first.]

Then I'll see you tonight! Hopefully a lot of you tonight. [ Harley's sex drive might be what finally killed him after surviving years of Batman fights and inter-rogue wars. ] Ooh, I'll bring dinner. Do you like Thai food?

[ Yep, her sex drive was going to be what kills him. Lifting his coffee again, he tried not to look flustered and yet, he did. He needed to find a test subject soon. ]

I will see you then, as for Thai, I don't dislike it. I'm not fussy, anything will do.

It's a date. [ She gave him a quick swat on the rear and swooped in for one more kiss. ] Bye bye, boyfriend. [ The last word in sing-song. Boy, that was fun to say. ]

Goodbye until then Harleen.

[ He went a little wide eyed at the swat, but did nothing beyond returning the kiss, and giving a small wave. Yeah, it was lab time. Refilling his coffee he moved quickly to the basement door to get to work.]

The last time Harley was at the precinct, she and Malcolm had sex on the conference room desk. This time, they're actually working a case together. Their suspect is someone Harley studied at Claremont before he was released, so she's a perfect person to consult with. Malcolm's really excited to be working with Harley, even if the team doesn't seem to know what to make of her.

They're in the elevator, heading down to the morgue so that Harley can view the victim's body. "I think you'll like Edrisa," Malcolm tells her. "She's... quirky."

The elevator starts to move and about halfway between floors it shudders to a stop. The two of them look at each other.

"Uhh..."

"I like everybody," Harley points out, giving his hand a squeeze. She'd held it as soon as the elevator doors started to close. It wasn't exactly a secret they were together, but Malcolm liked to attempt professionalism. "It's just not always mutual."

Her brows furrow as the elevator shudders and grinds to a halt. Hopefully it's a regular mechanical failure and not an assault on the precinct. That could make for a real awkward reunion with one of her former friends. She looks up at the emergency hatch.

"I could climb up and take a look, but there's not a lot I can actually do about it."

"You mean you're not an elevator mechanic?" Malcolm asks. Fortunately, he isn't claustrophobic, so he's not feeling any immediate panic about the elevator being stuck. He buzzes on the elevator intercom to speak to an operator and find out about the situation. Apparently the power's out in the building and on the whole block. It might be a little while before they're rescued.

Malcolm turns back to Harley with a sigh. "So. I guess this is what we're doing today," he says. "Do you have an aversion to elevators?" He just wants to make sure that she's going to be okay in here for an extended period of time.

She shrugs and leans against the wall. "Nah, I'm good. I've stayed in cells smaller than this." She tips her head and gives him a considering look.

"Sooo... If it's going to be a while before we get out of here..." She pushes off the wall and closes the space between them. "And the power outage must've knocked out the security cameras."

Harley didn't finish the thought out loud. The quirk of her eyebrow and sly grin on her lips spoke volumes.

Malcolm returns that raise of the eyebrow, then shakes his head and laughs. "You're really too much, you know that?" His arm snakes around her waist and he pulls her close. "I think it's just that you can't resist me," he teases.

Harley has a way of pumping up his ego without her even realizing that she's doing it. Or maybe she does. Either way, with how enthusiastic she is about wanting him, it makes him feel very confident in his abilities. He presses his lips to hers.

Her hands slide down his chest and unbutton his jacket, pushing it off his shoulders as they kiss. When she breaks the kiss for breath, she grins at him and starts to loosen his belt too.

"You're exactly right," she says, her lips brushing his. "Maybe you should try being less sexy and perfect."

He shrugs. "Sadly, I can't help it," Malcolm tells her. "That's just the way I am." He manages to hang the jacket off of the safety railing attached to the wall of the elevator. It's Tom Ford. He's not going to throw it on the dirty floor.

One of his hands slides up under the back of her shirt while she opens his pants, then reaches back down to grab her butt.

She giggles at his answer and presses her lips to the side of his neck as she opens his pants just enough to work a hand in and stroke him. Her other hand pulls the hem of her skirt up to her hips, clearly not patient despite the promise that they have hours to fill.

"It's no conference table, but we can make do."

"Not as romantic," he says with a teasing smile. Nothing like banging on a precinct conference table, but he still wouldn't change their first time. So much good has come out of it since.

Malcolm lets out a soft moan when Harley starts stroking his cock. Part of him can't believe they're about to do this in the elevator, but part of him is very excited at the possibility. He slips his fingers under the waist of her panties and starts to push them down her legs.

Harley kisses him. It's slow and sweet, a strange contrast to how fast she got into his pants. Her hand on his cock is slow, too. In a hurry to start but no hurry to finish.

Once her panties hit the floor, he's able to reach under her skirt and brush his fingers between her legs. They come back soaking wet and he sucks on them.

"Someone got aroused very, very quickly," he teases. His hips move involuntarily against her hand as she strokes him. Malcolm's actually enjoying the slow teasing. His hand disappears under her skirt again.

"Mmh." She kisses him, her tongue trespassing in his mouth to taste herself. Her hand moves faster over his erection and she wraps an arm around his shoulders to hold him closer. "That's because I've been waiting to get you alone since we walked in the building."

"I think you're just horny all the time," he tells her with a smirk. Malcolm's eyes flutter closed when she touches him just right. There's a hitch in his breath. It takes him a second to pull himself together. "Do you want me to fuck you against this wall?"

"Not all the time," she protests with a pout. "Only when you're around."

She smirks to see the effect she has on him, and leans in to drag her teeth over his earlobe. "I want a lot of things," she whispers low against his ear. "But we can start with that." She steps backwards until her ass hits the wall, leading him by the cock.

"We're together a lot," he points out. With her hand on his cock, he can't really help but follow her. Malcolm hoists her up and waits for her to wrap her legs around his waist.

He kisses over her jaw and down her neck, sucking at the skin. Then he reaches down and adjusts them so that he slides up into her. Malcolm balances her weight against the wall.

"I can't believe we're doing this," he gasps breathlessly.

[ Jonathan Crane understood a great many things about the human mind and behaviors of people. Even with this wealth of knowledge, he ended up falling for someone who he could not predict. Someone who turned his boring, dreary life into something brighter, often more exciting even when just being in the house.

After Scarecrow deleted her data, Jonathan, of course, sided with his other-self. He didn't get video games or the like, and still, he didn't see the issue. At least until after the second night without Harley passed. The third day while in the lab, waiting on chemicals to proof as bundled up as he could be in the cold weather without the chance of static electricity. It was in this downtime when he would usually call his lover...maybe ex-girlfriend now? Relationships were weird. This time he looked up how to recover and island. Of course, it required the system to be stolen or broken and a call to Nintendo. Meaning Edward likely could save it. It must be on a cloud, but that was not what caught his attention.

It was time. The time spent to create such an island. Now, that, he could respect. That much time and effort to get as high as she could for Scarecrow to delete it... over ice cream. He weighed his choices a long while before deciding to again text in true dumb male fashion. He could guess she was in a bar or at her apartment or with someone else. That last one made his jealous bone bristle, but he could let it go if it wasn't Joker. If it was, well, he deserved that. ]

I would like for us to speak, Scarecrow is not prepared to apologize. I, however, am. I have also researched how to recover your island if no one has been able to yet. I am sorry he did this to you, Dr. Quinzel.

[ Of course, he started typing, deleted, and retyped about seven times before sending the message and demanding a cigarette from Stanley. He hated doubting himself, but he'd hate himself more if he didn't try to fix the issue.]

[ Harley had spent the first two days on a bender, but his message came as she was in a sober window before heading back out on the town. She glared at her phone for a while before answering. ]

we not on first name basis anymore?

[ He had gone back to reading while waiting. Finishing the paragraph he was on before picking up the phone. Making a face he realized he'd made a mess up there. ]

I hope so, I did not want to assume.

[ She hits the call button before she can think about it. ]

Jonny.

[ He answered the phone as soon as it rang, a little glad no one could see him smile hearing her voice.]

Harleen, darlin'.

[ He felt no shame tacking that endearment on. ]

[ She hates herself for how happy she feels when she hears his voice. ]

I can't date only half of you.

[ Pushing his book aside, so he can give her his full attention for the time being.]

Well, right now I can't speak for the other side of me. I've decided he needed punishment. I've taken the medication properly, he's silent until I either half the dosage or stop taking it.

[ She went quiet for a while, taking that in. She'd never known him to take his full dosage voluntarily in all the time she'd known him. ]

I miss you.

[ He still wasn't sure about his punishment on Scarecrow, usually when he takes the full dose it was because he was forced too in Arkham, or Scarecrow had caused nearly deadly harm to him. This was different and he knew it. Part of him still raged that it was over a video game, but the logical side knew how much work she put into it after some reading. ]

I miss you too, darlin'. I'd like us to talk, would it be alright with you if I came to see you? I'm down in the Bowery right now.

[ Of course, he buried himself in work. And Stanley could watch the chemicals. They had hours before anything needed done.]

I don't have that apartment anymore. The building is gone. I'm staying with-- I'll send you an address.

[ It's an old storehouse, one of a hundred in the old part of the Gotham where factories were shut down for code violations and reopened with no improvement. ]

Ahh, I hadn't checked. I wanted to give you space. Yes, give me the address and I will be there directly.

[ Of course, he didn't disconnect, he wrote down the address and smacked Matt upside the head to point at the apparatus for him to watch the chemicals brew, a snap to Stanley pointing as well. they knew him well enough to know it meant watching the brew he had to leave. Making his way to the truck as he kept the phone by his ear, the tale-tell pop of the door a signal he was about to head that way.]

15, minutes traffic allowin' alright?

[ He'd only hang up after that, and start on his way, of course, it's Gotham so he got caught in traffic and ended up smoking to calm his temper. The last thing he needed was road rage when he showed up.]

[ Harley was waiting in the doorway with her arms crossed when he pulled up. Bruce paced in front of her nervously. ]

Hey. Hi.

[ He made his way up from the truck, taking a moment to just take in the sight of her. Instead of petting Bruce his eyes stayed on Harley, hands behind his back he'd practiced this and yet when the moment came his mind went blank.]

Hello darlin', I missed ya.

[ He knew months ago he never would have admitted that. Yet he knew he needed to now.]

Yeah.

[ Bruce felt the tension between them and groaned a warning. Harley shushed him and leaned down to rub his ears. ]

I'd invite you in, but it's not really my place an' she's already mad I'm talking to you again.

Edited 2021-01-20 02:54 (UTC)

[ That groan and realizing whose warehouse this was just from Harley's few words was enough for him to know to tread carefully. Not that he planned to act rash, that was Scarecrows bag.]

That is perfectly fine and understandable. And I do understand if you want more time and space. I simply thought it best we speak face to face even if it is just outside of Dr. Isley's door. I will start by apologizing for Scarecrow deleting your game.

[ He knew Scarecrow should be the one doing it but that would mean unmedicating and that he didn't want to so yet.]

Okay. Thanks.

[ Harley sat on her heels and wrapped her arms around Bruce, pressing the side of her face against his coarse fur and peeking up at Jonathan. ]

Did he say what he was actually mad about? It couldn't really have been about the ice cream, right? Only I don't know what else I did...

[ A simple nod was given to the thanks as he remained standing, crossing his arms to keep from showing nervousness. Not being able to feel fear should have removed that and yet it didn't.]

He claimed it was an accident. Meant to be a joke over the ice cream and then it really deleted. Which, I find an inexcusable answer. I did some research into how to recover your island if no one else did. Seeing the time spent to make such an island it is inexcusable to have that time simply lost.

Okay. Um. [ She bit the inside of her mouth and turned her face down to keep her expression from looking too relieved. ] Can I come home?

If you want, Harleen, it's your home too. That ain't changed. [ He worried it would be pressuring and yet he had to say it ]

[ She stands up and brushes her hands off on her jeans. ]

I'll be there when you get home tonight.

[ That faint smile appeared before he forced it away, Pamala could be around, Harley could see him smile no one else. ]

I shouldn't take too terribly long, I am just waiting on Toxin to finish proofing. I left the boys watching it.

[ Putting Harley before work was still a big thing for him. ]

[ Harley fidgeted for a few seconds before she couldn't hold out anymore and threw herself at him. ]

Oh Jonny!

[ It took him a second to uncross his arms from under her to wrap them around her, dropping a kiss to the crown of her head. Just relishing in the feel of her being back in his arms. This was a moment his reputation didn't matter.]

I'll try to hurry it up but once I leave, for now this is perfect.

[ Harley's fingers curled into the fabric at the back of his jacket and she tucked her head under his chin with a sigh. ]

Take me home?

I can do that.

[ He'd call the boys in a minute and tell them to keep an eye on the toxin and make sure everything is stored properly when it's finished. For now, though the Toxin could wait. Holding her against him he closed his eyes and just breathed in her scent. ]

Take as long as you need to get anything you want to bring, I'll wait here.

[ She kissed him quick before darting inside to pack. She hadn't taken much with her when she'd left, so it didn't take long for her to throw everything into a bag. ]

[ The kiss was returned as he waited outside, making that call to the boys. Along with the threat of any mistakes would mean a gassing for them when he finds out. Once the call was done, he hung up, it was a quick call anyway. Ready to take whatever she carried out so she could handle Bruce. ]

[ She could grab a ride with him next time he came back into the city and pick up her car, unless Dinah found it and reclaimed it before then. It would be a bummer, but she could grab a new ride without too much trouble.

She kissed him again before tossing her bag in the back of the truck and helping Bruce in. ]

How much work do you have left today?

[ He would bring her back for that, and if the car was missing he'd give her the truck keys for while he was working until they could go steal her a new car. After all, where would he be beside the lab? He could send Stanley or Sam out on snack runs.

Kissing her back he pulled open the door for her while she tossed her bag in the back, going around and slipping in the driver's side as he turned over the engine. Fully intending to take her home, Bruce did not belong in his lab. He wasn't Mr. J. No hyenas. ]

I've taken the rest of the day off for you. I let the boys know to keep and eye on things, it will be fine.

[ Harley settles into her seat and hugs her knees to her chest. She grins at him and just basks in being close to him again. ]

Let's make a stop on the way home and get that stupid ice cream.

[ It was nice to have her close again, even if it was just heading back into Gotham traffic with Bruce in the truck with them. ]

If you want, the choice is yours, darlin'. Personally I don't think he deserves it.

We can eat it without him.

After you make love to me, a'course.

Now that, darlin' sounds like a good plan.

[ offering her a sly look when they hit a red light.]

Well, that's a given.

[ Considering this is her first birthday as officially his girlfriend. Five decides that he has to gift her something nice but also something she could use. He decides on commissioning some custom handguns for her. A really pretty pair of rose gold and pink handguns with intricate engravings and pearlesque coated handles. Complete with their own custom case to keep them stored in.

However when he's picking up order, he notices a display of a mace that is right up Harley's alley. Thus he can't leave without it. It costs him a mint, since the smith wasn't interested in selling it. But when now that he has it wrapped as if it is nothing more than a bunch of long stemmed roses. He's pleased with the purchase.

Thus when she returns home from walking her baby, Bruce. She'll find the two wrapped birthday gifts sitting on her table, while Five waits patiently on the couch. ]

Happy Birthday, Har.

[ Luckily, Bruce is used to Five being around the place, or he wouldn't have taken a surprise visit well. He checks for any treats before heading off for a nap.

Harley, not blessed with a predator's keen nose to give her a heads up on surprise guests, is a little taken aback to see him sitting there. He's let himself in plenty of times but usually let her know he was coming first and at first she's worried that something is wrong. But she doesn't see any blood and he isn't anxious so what--

Oh. Oh right, her birthday! ]

How'd you know?

You're pretty infamous, Har. It wasn't hard to find out.

[ He remarks with a shrug. Digging up the information hadn't been difficult at all. ]

I know you don't normally celebrate, but it didn't feel right not to get you a gift. Since we're together now.

[ She grins and practically skips to the couch, where she plops down next to him and throws her arms around his shoulders to plant a kiss on his cheek. ]

Can I open them now?

Of course, go ahead.

[ He says with a chuckle, turning his head to press a kiss to her cheek in return. ]

Hope you like them.

[ She claps with glee and rips open the first gift. When she sees the guns she goes quiet, too full of emotion to even speak. Joker had gifted her a pair of custom handguns once, but they had been designed to match his preferences and had long since disappeared into some chain of evidence. She picks them up and examines each in turn with quiet reverence, marveling over every small detail.

She's so engrossed with the handguns that she doesn't even register that the rose on the table is too big and solid to be just decorative until she tries to pick it up and the heft surprises her. She laughs when she realizes it's another weapon. ]

Five! It's all too perfect!

[ He watches her, studying the expression on her face. He did his best to have those guns customize to something she might like. She does things with flair, so her weapons should have flair. He can't help but chuckle as she realizes that the rose isn't an actual rose. ]

Really? I was hoping the guns would meet your approval. The smith who made them came highly recommended for customs.

[ She studies him right back. Who knew someone could load up on custom weapons and be all soft about it? ]

How'd you get so good?

Good at what?

[ He asks as he leans over to press another kiss to her cheek. ]

I just wanted to get you something that you would actually like.

Just ... good. To me.

[ She cradles the mace to her chest as tenderly as if it were a teddy bear and leans into him. ]

I like it very much.

Because I like you and want to do nice things for you.

[ He admits with a smile, a feeling of warmth blooming in his chest over the genuine happiness he can see on her face. ]

I had a feeling that you'd really like that rose mace, the moment I saw it at the Smith's place. You'll have to let me know how the guns handle. The guy told me if you have any issues with them to let him know and he'd be sure to fix them free of charge.

[ She kisses his cheek and just ... enjoys the moment for what it is. He could have done nothing at all and she wouldn't have given it a second thought but he did. He likes her. She's really starting to believe that. ]

Can we go break shit?

[ He chuckles because he just knew that question was coming. He can't give her toys and no way to test them out. ]

Yeah, but let's stick to the small fries. I don't want to draw more attention than necessary.

[ She squeals in delight and hops up to get changed. She pauses before stepping out of the room to look back at him with a soft kind of fondness. ]

You know, a girl could really fall for you, Five.

[ There's that bloom of warmth in his chest again. Instinctively he smiles, even as he's hit with a sudden shyness. ]

You trying to butter me up?

[ He jokes playfully, trying to cover for that shyness that surfaced. ]

[ She laughs and leans against the wall. She doesn't notice a shift in his demeanor. ]

Would that get me more presents?

Not if you tell me that's the goal.

[ He quips with a chuckle. ]

Are you still changing your clothes, so we can go break things?

Gimme a minute! This outfit is a process, okay?

[ Leather pants and a bulletproof bustier can't be rushed. ]

Alright, I got time.

[ He's definitely not trying to rush her. He was just trying to get out of the awkward feelings that were cropping up. ]

[ She's gone for a few more minutes squeezing herself into one of her more practical outfits, which really showed just how little she cared for practicality. Long leather pants would keep her from getting scuffed knees and the glittery bustier was only really helpful if someone shot directly at her tits, but it was more care than she usually gave her physical safety. She comes back carrying a sturdy pair of shit-kicker boots and plops on the couch to lace them up. ]

[ Of course, there she goes, being all hot and stuff. So much for not drawing too much attention to themselves. He has to chuckle because clearly Harley takes play time seriously. ]

Now I'm feeling underdressed.

[ Says the guy in the custom tailored suit. ]

[ She's still leaning over tying up her boots and laughs at him over her shoulder. ]

Yeah? We're probably close to the same size. I got some outfits you could borrow.

Pretty sure, I wouldn't look even remotely as good as you in leather bustiers.

[ She laughs again and pats his chest. ]

Aw, don't be so down on yourself, baby. You can always stuff your bra.

[ That makes him laugh as he lightly bumps his shoulder against hers. ]

It would take a lot of stuffing for me to fill out a bra. I'll stick to what I know. Are you okay with being seen with a guy who doesn't dress as colorful as you?

[ She sighs dramatically and rolls her eyes at him. ]

I suppose I'll make it through somehow!

[ She smiles and her eyes light up at an idea. ]

Actually, hold on- [ She disappears again and comes back a moment later with a red leather jacket. ] Here, try this on.

[ He lifts an eyebrow at the jacket she wants him to try on. ]

Eh, red leather isn't really my style.

[ He shakes his head because he doesn't want to give ideas that she can dressing him up. He prefers to stay in his comfort zone. ]

Boring.

[ She clicks her tongue and tosses the jacket on the couch. ]

Come on, you stuffed suit. Let's go.

Well you knew that before you decided to date me.

[ He retorts with that smart ass twinkle in his eyes. Though he gestures for her to lead the way, since she's the birthday girl. ]

Yeah, yeah. So who should we pick a fight with?

[ He asks because there's always some small fry thinking they can run things and any of them can be easy pickings for him and Harley. Even on their worse days. ]

Hmmm! [ She hums to herself, eventually turning into a little tune, as she loads the guns and settles into her favorite shoulder holster. She doesn't expect to need them but, hey, you never know. ] Human traffickers?

While not a bad choice, do you have any leads to where we can find some of these assholes?

[ He knows enough to know that they do tend to hide like insects. ]

Though we could have some fun, kicking the hornets nest in trying to find those assholes.

Mmm-hm! Some friends have been keeping an eye on it.

[ She bounces on toes, doing an excited little shimmy as she checks some things on her phone. ]

And I happen to know someone who happens to know a name, and someone else who happens to be very good at cyberstalking. [ She turns her phone around to show him a social media feed. ] The top recruiter's right hand man posted they're partying at the Busted Ball tonight.

[ He looks a the screen of her phone and lets out a small laugh. ]

So we're party crashing then?

[ He asks with a raised eyebrow as they both know there's no place that can really keep him out. ]

If so, then I need to grab of couple of things out of the trunk of my car.

[ She tucks the phone in her back pocket and raises a curious brow. ]

What things?

I don't have any 'goodies' on me for party crashing.

[ He's a former assassin, but still keeps a few toys for special occasions. ]

Sweetie! What's mine is yours.

[ She sashays over to the kitchen and opens her weapons cupboard. What else is a person who doesn't cook supposed to keep up there anyway? ]

[ He laughs at that, but lightly shakes his head. ]

Thanks for the offer, doll. But you're not the only one who customizes her goodies. My car isn't that far away. It won't take but a couple of minutes. Especially if we take my shortcut.

[ He holds out a hand to her as he intends on teleporting over to his car. ]

[ She grins and practically skips back across the room to grab his hand. Her fingers slide between his so easily now, palm to palm, warm and familiar. She presses a kiss to his cheek and leaves a vivid red smudge against his skin. ]

Let's go!

[ Instinctively he gives her hand a squeeze as his other arm wraps around her waist. ]

Okay.

[ He chuckles as he teleports them over to his car that he conveniently parked in nearby parking garage. He takes the opportunity to press a quick kiss to her lips, before letting her go so he can open the trunk of his car.

Since he's taken over maintaining this car that use to belong to his father. He's added a couple of things in the trunk, so he can have some semblance of privacy. He shrugs off his jacket and puts on a holster. Placing one of his favorite handguns into it. No doubt his brothers would lose their mind to know he had any weapons, let alone guns.

After a couple of minutes, he puts his jacket back on and picks up a small shotgun, before shutting the trunk again. ]

Should we take the car to the party or should we take my shortcut?

[ When he finishes getting geared up, he'll catch her watching him with an expression of ... Well ... Raw, unfettered adoration. She'd rather die than be the first to say the L-word again, like always, but. Once Harley decides to go in, she goes all in.

The expression is gone the second he catches it. Hidden behind a mask of general good cheer and chaotic energy. ]

Take the car and park a few blocks away. You'll need your energy.

[ Though he catches the expression on her face, he doesn't say anything about it. He'd rather keep to the topic at hand. He nods at her advice. ]

Alright then, sweetheart. Hop in and we'll get going.

[ He tells her as he goes to get into the driver's side. He tucks the shotgun to the side as he gets in the car and waits for her to join him. ]

No doors held for special birthday girls, apparently.

[ She rolls her eyes with a little smile and slides into the front seat. She leans over the center console for another kiss. ]

[ He rolls his eyes at her comment over him not opening her door. ]

I'll open your door when reach the party.

[ He adds with an amused smile, leaning over to give her that kiss she's wanting. ]

You still have that address up on your phone?

[ He asks as he wants to be sure he takes them to the right place. ]

I know where it is.

[ As if there's a shitty crime bar in this city she doesn't know. She reaches over and rests a hand on his leg without thinking about it. Boyfriend in reach, then she's gonna touch. That's the rule. ]

Take the south exit and turn right.

[ He nods as he certainly trusts that she knows her way around town. As he starts up the car, he doesn't say anything when she rests her hand on his leg. He'll let her know if it starts getting to be distracting. ]

Got it.

[ He replies as he shifts gears and goes to follow her directions taking them out of the garage and turning right. ]

Where to next?

Stay on this road for about ten blocks, and then it'll be a left at the liquor store with the red sign.

Hey, you've been there before actually. You remember that time I asked you to stop by and feed Bruce because I was caught up in a brawl? [ Got to narrow that down. ] And you insisted on picking me up in case I'd started a gang war? [ No, still too general. ] I was wearing that little pink dress and shoved a pool cue up that guy's ass.

[ Five can't stop himself from laughing at that description of events. ]

Honestly Har, you've shoved pool cues up more than one guy's ass. But I think I remember the place you are talking about.

[ As he stops at a red light, he leans over to press a kiss to cheek. ]

Try not to ruin the mace by shoving up anyone's ass. That was a one of a kind creation.

[ He says jokingly, but he hopes she just uses it for smashing as it was intended to do. ]

[ She makes a soft pleased noise at the kiss and squeezes his leg. ]

I would never. This is a treasure! But if they've replaced their pool cues, then who knows what might happen?

Glad to hear it.

[ It honestly makes him happy that she loves the mace as much as she does. He chuckles as she gives his leg a squeeze and manages to press another kiss to her cheek, before the light changes again. ]

Man, I feel for the pool cues in that case.

Thank you for my presents, Five. You're real sweet.

So does this count as a date?

You're welcome. Just wanted to get you something that you'd be able to get some use out of.

Well it is your birthday. So you tell me.

This is totally a date!

[ And she is SO! EXCITED! To be going out on the town with her favorite old man. ]

Then let's make sure, we have lots of fun raining on these guys parade.

[ He says with a smile as he goes to rest his hand over hers that is still on his leg. ]

[ She turns her hand over to link their fingers together and gives his hand a squeeze. ]

It's always fun with you.

[ He gives her hand a squeeze as she links fingers with him. When they stop at another red light, he leans over to give her another kiss. ]

Yeah? Even when I'm being a grandpa?

[ This time she's picked up on the pattern and is already waiting to kiss him when he leans in. ]

Turns out I'm into grandpas. Who knew?

[ That comment makes him laugh as he gives her hand another squeeze. ]

Does that mean I have to keep you away from the Senior Center? I wouldn't want some other grandpa to try and steal you away.

[ He jokes before turning his attention back to the road. ]

[ She loves making him laugh. She loves it. ]

Don't worry, old man. I'm a one-grandpa kinda gal.

[ She squeezes back and her thumb rubs small circles on his hand. ]

Hey, are you still against fooling around in cars?

Edited 2022-08-14 14:39 (UTC)

Good, that's what I like to hear.

[ He glances over to when she starts rubbing circles on his hand. ]

Cars are so uncomfortable to make out in.

[ He likes having space to move. ]

[ She pouts and coyly bats her lashes. ]

Special birthday funtime treat?

[ He chuckles because he feels like he's going to get that birthday thing used against him quite a bit in the future. ]

You know if we start making out in the car, we aren't going to make it to the party to crash it, right?

[ Because when do they do anything half way? ]

[ He has a point. She thinks about it for half a block. ]

After, to celebrate?

Alright, after the party crashing.

[ He agrees since he knows Harley will pout more if he says no and well it is her birthday. ]

[ She giggles a little because she's happy to get her way. ]

What do you want for your birthday?

I don't know yet. I'll have to think on it.

[ He slightly shrugs because he it is only recently in the couple of years that he's been able to make plans for his birthday. ]

Since my siblings and I share our birthday. We try to do something together before going off to do our own things.

Okay, I won't steal you away for the whole day.

[ She has enough time to figure out something really nice. And maybe she'll have met the family by then! But then she'd have to figure out presents for all of them, wouldn't she? Jeez, that's a lot of responsibility. ]

Hey, you really don't mind going and beating the shit out of people with me?

No, as long as they are low lives that we are beating on, then I'm okay with it. And well I wouldn't have given you weapons for your birthday if I wasn't ready to help you test them out.

[ While he has been trying to not kill people anymore, he does make exceptions for the worst of the worst. And it's Harley's birthday.]

... Do you have any idea how amazing you are?

[ She squeezes his hand tightly, since that's all she can do while he's driving. ]

You know me so well, like you really get me, but you haven't tried to change anything about me. Nobody's ever-- You're really something else.

[ He glances over to her at that question, a bit of surprise surfacing on his face. Though he squeezes her hand back, because she's one of the first people to not treat him like a child and definitely one of the first who wasn't looking to use him. ]

Well you once told me that I'm 'worth knowing' and I feel the same about you. You are definitely worth knowing regardless of the reputation the media has given you. You're the first person outside of my family to really see past the teenage appearance and accept me in spite that appearance.

[ Her friendship has meant a lot to him, which was why he was hesitant to step over that line. But he's glad that he took the chance. ]

I think-- [ She bites her lip to stop from saying something too early and looks out the window. ] I think this might be close enough. There's a parking spot just up here, see?

Okay. [ He replies temporarily releasing her hand so he have both hands for the wheel of the car as he goes to park the car in the spot she points out. Once they are situated he turns his attention back to her. ]

You ready to go, kick the shit out of these assholes?

I'm always ready for anything. [ She leans over to kiss him properly, not just sweet pecks at red lights, but only once. There would be more kisses later. ]

Here, let me show you who we're going for. [ She pulls out her phone and finds the message from one of her hero type friends. She hands the phone to him so he can see all the intel they had on the ring, with pictures of known members and associates. ] I'll give Renee a call after we're done and she'll clean up.

[ He gladly kisses her back, before looking over the information on her phone. He makes a note of the various faces that they will be taking down. Though he looks at her questioning, when she mentions the name 'Renee'. ]

Who is Renee?

[ He asks curiously as he just wants to be sure that she's someone they can truly trust. The last thing they need, is someone selling them out.]

[ She takes the opportunity to rest her head on his shoulder while he checks the phone, happy as can be. ]

She used to be a detective. The best one, actually. Left because she got sick of being the only one on the force who actually gave a shit. Now she's in this little vigilante group with a couple other gals. So cute.

[ He drops a kiss to the top of her head as she rest it on his shoulder. ]

Ah, so she's taking matters into her own hands eh?

[ Which sounded a lot like his brother Diego's mindset on doing vigilante work. He goes to hand Harley back her phone.]

Alright, shall we get going?

They're good at it. [ So, not much like Diego. ] And they watch Bruce when I'm not around. [ Which is as glowing a recommendation as she can give. ]

[ She nods to confirm she is ready to go and then sits expectantly. He had promised to open her door and she expects a delivery on that promise. ]

I would assume so, if she took the chance of leaving police work to go into vigilantism instead.

[ He can't imagine leaving legit work to fail at being a vigilante. It's just an added bonus that they are able to look after the big guy. He's quick to lean over and steal a kiss from her before getting out of the car and taking his shotgun with him.

He gets out the car and goes around to open her door. Instinctively he offers her a hand to help her up, if she wants it. ]

Shall we?

[ She takes his hand and exits the car with all the poise of a queen and grinning from ear to ear. It's such a simple gesture, but even the barest scrap of chivalry delights her to no end. The rose mace is slung over her shoulder and carried with such ease that it really is hard to tell how heavy and dangerous the weapon could be. ]

We shall!

[ He's honestly so pleased to see that she really likes the gift he got her. Of course in the future he is hoping to get her less violent gifts, but the goal of it being something that she can use and enjoy will always be priority for him.

Instinctively he walks beside her, his hand moving to rest on the small of her back as his other hand holds his shot gun. ]

Should we kick through the door or do you want to pop in on them and give them a real surprise?

[ He asks, since he's not sure how many of the people from the pictures will be there. But if they are taking down a human trafficking ring than he's not going to care so much about doing things under the radar. ]

[ She gives the mace a little twirl as she weighs the dramatic entrances against each other. ]

Well, these boots are made for kickin'!

[ He laughs at the way she lights up at the choices. ]

Kicking through the front door it is then. I don't know how much time we'll have before police or other vigilantes show up. So the first sign of the police we take the short exit out, okay?

Average police response time in this neighborhood is forty five minutes.

[ Which is why vigilantes stay so busy. She pulls up Renee's contact info and hits the call button. ]

Hey babe, those guys you've been tracking down are at the Busted Ball right now and we're gonna beat the shit out of 'em for ya till you can get here, okay? Love ya, byeeee!

[ She hangs up over Renee's frantic followup questions, and kicks the door open with as much force as she can, which is a considerable amount, and also entirely unnecessary because it wasn't even locked. ]

[ He manages to hold back his laugh as he can hear the frantic 'What?!' on the other side of the phone before Harley hangs up. No doubt her friends were probably scrambling to get their stuff together and get over to the club before he and Harley ruined their chances.

He cocks his shotgun as she kicks the door open hard enough to almost break it off the hinges. The look of the startled bouncers is the first sight he's greeted too. They were faces on Harley's phone, so it is likely they are just guys who work at the club and don't take part of the other parts of the operation.]

Try not to maim these ones, Har. They weren't in your photo gallery.

[ He says to her because it is likely the guys will try to fight them on principle. They did just barge into their place of business. ]

Harley waits on the sidewalk outside her building for Muldoon to pick her up for date two. She doesn't really have anything in her wardrobe that really goes with his musty ol' hat, but a pink romper and some white boots are a pretty solid choice. And she's hot enough to make anything work.

He said she didn't need to hold his hat hostage to get a second date, but if that was true then he didn't move fast enough for her. Not that anyone could really keep up with her

When he pulls in he's in a jeep. It looks out of place here, he thinks, but he's not about to rent anything that can't off road. Chances are that he'll have to go cross country at some point, no matter where he is. In a way, he also looks out of place. For once not wearing his uniform, or some variation of it. Though he's still dressed smartly in khaki suit trousers and a blue button-down shirt.

If she gives him a chance to, he'll get out and open the door for her. Either way, he looks her up and down, eyes lingering on his hat for a second, before he focuses on her face. "You look nice."

Harley is impressed by his shirt, which is a low bar but she honestly thought everything he owned was khaki.

"You talking to me, or your hat?"

She hops in the passenger side and leans across the center console to press a kiss to his cheek. Her hand slides a little too far up his thigh to just be friendly.

"Dinner first, or do you want to jump right into it?"

"The hat doesn't hurt." Something he manages to say in his usual dry playfulness before the kiss on the cheek takes him by surprise, and then her hand makes him forget anything else he was going to say.

It takes him a moment to get his thoughts together. Starting the car back up helps him focus again. "How about we play it by ear?"

Which is to say, he fully expects that they'll eat as they go. A concept which makes more sense when she sees where he's taking them. It's not like it's easy to hide the lights and sounds of a fairground for a dramatic reveal after all. While he's usually too serious to go to one, it seems like something she would appreciate.

[ The day after this. ]

Gary was true to his word, he played Tekken 3, at least an hour before spending awhile on DDR and a few other games the arcade had. He'd gotten back to the Newark Mansion he lived in with his bosses and went to bed. After dodging questions from them.

He didn't text in the morning, he knew Harley wasn't a morning person, most henches aren't. But, around three in the afternoon, a text comes her way.

Sorry for being a dick last night. It was pretty funny. We cool?

Harley really hadn't expected him to keep his word, so his text takes her by surprise in the middle of a pity party.

No I was the dick

Dude, no, I was being a big baby about it. And if anyone's to blame it's your friend for actually doing that. I'm not mad anymore.

[ He'd feel so bad if he knew she was throwing a pity party.]

She really did think you were cute
If you want her number
But she'll ruin your life for fun so don't catch feelings

OMG, really?
Oh wait, no, that's bad. I'm freaking awful about catching feelings for people I shouldn't. This was probably for the best.

Yeah she's hot but awful. That's why we're friends.

You and me both, honey.

I mean, totally understandable. And she seemed okay until she pulled that.

Dude, right? I got the afternoon and evening off. Want to go hang out somewhere and we can commiserate? Gotham's a bit of a ride on the train, but I don't mind it.

We can meet halfway. It's good for me to get out of this shithole sometimes. And I still feel bad about your blue balls so I'll be your wingman.

Sounds totally cool by me. I'll look up what's between us, probably good for us both to get out more.

Oh, dude, don't worry about it. It's cool. It'll happen when it happens, I'd rather have fun then risk being shot down again.

Are you sure? I can still give you a hand job.

[ Harley who raised you ]

Yeah, I'm sure. Don't sweat it, Harley. We can talk about that later if you want, but honestly, I'm cool.

[ He's wondering that, but, figures it's probably something to do with the Joker. ]

Alright, your call.

Where something nice. Wherever we end up, we need to paint the town.

How nice are we talking? Like suit or what?

[ At least she said that before he left the house, he was totally in cargo shorts and a dice shirt. ]

[ She sends a pic of the sequin jumpsuit she plans to wear. Not that she expects him to match, but he could at least try to up his level. ]

Okay, wow. That's super nice looking. Yeah, I'll do my best, give me an hour and I can meet you halfway!

[ He needed a shower and to get half of his Kano suit together. He knew better than to wear the jacket, the hat, or mask. The rest is pretty okay, though.

He'd show up to the meeting spot with his sleeves still rolled down, though, and the collar undone. He didn't shave though, that 5 o'clock shadow wasn't going anywhere.]

[ The first thing she does when she sees him is immediately roll those sleeves up. ]

Honey, no. Your arms are too good not to show off.

[ He doesn't fight it, he just shifts his arm as needed to help her. There's only a small hint of a blush at that. Despite being proud of how much he's improved, part of him will always be that chubby kid that accidentally became a henchman. ]

I trust your judgement there, Harley.

You gotta show off the gun show, or how is anyone gonna know to get a ticket?

[ Harley takes his arm and heads in a promising direction. She doesn't know this city but there's bound to be a bar somewhere. ]

I'm making up for the cock block. We're not going home until I get you laid.

The gun show?

[ That gets a laugh out of him, but he walks arm in arm with her, trusting her to navigate. This was not a city he's been too yet, either. ]

I told you, you don't need to worry about that, Harley. [ But he's not gonna fully say no. With Harley as a wing man, his chances have risen. ]

You don't tell me what to do, Gare-bear. This is happening.

[ She points at a neon sign down the road. ]

Let's try there first. Looks like a place with hot sluts. You into hot sluts?

Alright, cool. I won't, I'd totally hate it if that was the only reason we're hanging out tonight, is all.

[ He'll let Gare-bear slide, that's fine.

Walking along with her towards the bar. Shrugging when she asked. ]

Dude, do I look picky? I'm so not picky. So long as this night ends without an STD or pregnancy, I'm copacetic.

It's not picky to have a preference! What are you feeling tonight?

[ She takes a better look at the bar as they get closer, trying to decide if the vibe is right. ]

Man, woman? Blonde, redhead, brunette? Come on, give me a shopping list!

[ He shakes his head some, taking a moment to think.]

Totally a woman. Uhh, as for the rest I don't care about hair color, but no one ditzy, I can't stand that. Someone shorter than me, but even that is not a hard line.

[ She presses a hand against her chest in mock offense. ]

No ditzes? What have you got against my people?

[ This is one of those moments where he holds his hands up, without dislodging her arm. Playfully surrendering. It might be a mock offense, but he jumps to defend his words. ]

I so didn't mean you, you're an amazing Hench and super fun, I like your brand of ditzy. But, for some rando hook up? I don't know about that. It's a shame you didn't watch all of Star Wars, I could just say someone like Leia, but no that won't work.

[ He drops his arms, but rubs the back of his head. ] I trust your judgement here, Harley.

A babe with two buns and no bra. Got it.

[ See, she can remember the IMPORTANT stuff!

She leads him into the bar and finds a spot where they can see almost everyone. ]

I'll get the first round. You check out the crowd and let me know if anyone catches your eye.

It's hot, come on, you can't deny it.

[ This is why she's the best.

Taking a seat next to her at the bar, looking over the crowd. ]

Deal, but I get the next round. Gotta keep it fair. [ Looking out at the crowd, looking people over for now. ]

So, while we're looking, how are things going in Gotham?

Gotham is ... Fine. I guess. [ She taps her fingers on the bar top anxiously. ] There's been a lot of changes. I don't hench anymore.

[ Gary stops looking at the crowd and looks back to her, confused. ]

Wait, what? When did that happen? You didn't tell me you weren't henching anymore. [ One night stand mattered less now, this was so much more important. ] Did it happen while I was on sabbatical?

[ When 24 died he'd taken nearly 9 months away from the hench life, that was when his look changed from chubby dude to the guy he is now. ]

Me an' Joker broke up.

[ She turns away to wave at a bartender, mostly as an excuse to not look at Gary. The way other people look at her when she says it is the worst. ]

I thought maybe if you knew we wouldn't be friends anymore.

Oh, dude, Harley. [ Yeah, that's sympathy in his voice, he knows how crazy she was for that dude, that scary scary dude.

He waits until she's turned to the bartender, laying a hand on her shoulder. ]

Are you okay? Like that had to be hard, and I don't care about that. Sure, I could see why others would be but your my friend, bro. You're stuck with me.

Edited 2023-09-04 16:41 (UTC)

[ She has to blink away a tear before she turns back to him with a strained smile. She throws her arms around him and kisses him on the cheek. ]

[ That strained smile is all he needs to see before he opens his arms. Wrapping them around her when, she throws hers around him and kisses his cheek. ]

It's gonna be okay, Harley. I totally got your back.

[ Harley indulges in a good squeeze while she get herself together. Then she pulls back and claps him on the shoulders. ]

Now let's get your dick wet!

[ That gets a chuckle out of him, pulling back and looking back to the floor. ]

This is going to be a train wreck, but I'm here for it. [ He was amused at least. Looking back when he saw the Bartender still waiting from where Harley waved them over, he ordered a cheap beer before looking back to the dance floor. ]

[ Harley gets herself a cocktail, strong and sweet, and leans against Gary's shoulder. ]

Okay, keep an eye on the crowd. I'm about to test the waters.

[ Harley clears her throat and loudly announces: ]

I dunno, I just don't think Han Solo or Indiana Jones could beat Edward Cullen in a real fight!

Edited 2023-09-04 17:41 (UTC)

[ He decides to trust the process. Harley hasn't lead him wrong yet. ]

Cool, cool.

[ Though as she makes that loud announcement, she had to know he'd get distracted. This geek LIVES for this kind of argument. It's almost like 24 was still around, in a sad way. ]

Dude! You're so wrong! Either of them could kick that sparklepire's ass into the ground!

[ He'd looking down at her, not at the crowd, he's all about this now.]

[ Harley rolls her eyes at how fast he got off track and slaps his knee to get him to focus up. ]

There, brown hair and blue crop top. She looked like she had some shit to say about that.

[ the snack to his knee gets his attention. Looking back to the crowd, seeing the girl Harley noticed. ]

You sure that's not just her face? She still looks annoyed.

[ a second later.]

And you so better not believe what you said. Otherwise I'm making you watch Star Wars with me later.

[ His eyes went back to the brunette, thinking about it. What could it hurt? ]

Maybe it's just her face. Whatever. Put a bag over her head.

[ She plucks the umbrella put of her glass to take a sip of her drink. ]

I meannnn, he is a vampire...

Dude, I would never do that to someone. Unless their into it and we talked about it first.

[ He looked back to her a second.]

Okay, keep an eye on my drink, I'll go talk to her, or try. And when I get back I'll tell you why your wrong.

[ Gary expects to blow this.]

I'm not wrong, but go off, king.

[ While he's gone, Harley orders him a different drink. Something that would look classier and more impressive than the cheapest beer.

She watches while trying not to look like she's watching. Go get 'em, Gare-bear 👍 ]

You know I will.

[ he called back with a playful finger gun her way. Hopefully she didn't get him something too fruity, he can never taste the liquor in those and will get hella drunk superfast. This is how he ends up making bad choices.

Still, he does go over to the woman, and they stand talking a few minutes. Gary was as awkward as ever, but clearly something said goes south after about 10 minutes as she yells something and storms off, and he quietly makes his way back with his head lowered. ]

I blew it. She thinks Harrison Ford is a misogynistic pig, but also disgusted by Edward. That's why she looked like she had something to say.

[ Harley coos sympathetically and nods along. ]

Ah. Team Jacob.

[ She hands him the drink, after wiping her lipstick off the rim. Hey, she had to do quality control. That's real friendship. ]

Here, hold this. Makes you look like you have money.

[ He sighs again.]

Werewolves are so much lamer than any vampire. I mean, look at Christopher Lee or Bela Lugosi.

[ he takes the drink. Looking it over, but not questioning why she drank from it. It's not poisoned or drugged if she drank from it. She's a fantastic friend.]

But, I don't have money, Harley. That's kinda cheating, even for a one night stand?

You think so? I'd rather fuck a werewolf than a vampire if I had to pick. Sure vampires get all the glamour, but think about the body temperature! Ick.

[ She rolls her eyes a little and pats his hand. ]

It is not cheating. You're never gonna see these people again. Let her tell her friends about banging some mysterious rich playboy. What do you think about pink miniskirt over there?

I overheat at night enough as it is, at least a vampire will be free air conditioning. Though, point to werewolf would be I bet their mad good cuddlers.

[ he offered back to her, taking a drink from the glass and looking over at the pink mini skirt.]

Fair point, I guess. And I can never pull off that Bruce Wayne level of mystery. And she's cute, but way outta my league.

I noticed something when you talked to blue crop top.

[ Harley leans in close and wraps one arm around him, so to anyone looking they are doing some intense flirting. ]

Pink miniskirt is only checking out guys who are already with someone. So I'm gonna step away for a while and I bet you ten bucks she comes over while I'm gone.

Yeah?

[ He asked, listening with a bit of a flush at how close she'd leaned in. Actively trying to not look down her top. ]

Dude? What? Are you sure about that... [ After a second, he nodded, taking another drink. ] Fine, I guess. I can take that bet. But if this fails, can we just find something else to do? My ego can only take so much in a night.

You want to give up after only talking to two people? [ She frowns and finishes her drink. ]

Okay, alright. Your call. I'll go to the bathroom and book a nice room so if you pull it off you'll have somewhere to take her. And if it doesn't go anywhere we can crash there tonight and you can show me a Trek War. Deal?

[ He shrugged his shoulders some. Not really wanting to explain why but, at least, she didn't argue it. ]

Yeah, that's cool, I guess. But one day you're going to learn the names right. You're the best Harley.

[ He waited a second before turning back towards the bar to wait and see how this would go. Ordering a second drink since this one was mostly empty. Another of the same.]

[ She leaves with another kiss to bait the trap and makes sure she passes Pink Miniskirt on her way to the bathroom. She pretends to be on her phone, complaining that Gary's expensive gifts are just sooooo overwhelming and his dick is just tooooo good.

Pink Miniskirt does a terrible job of pretending like she isn't listening in, so Harley is at least confident she'll win ten bucks. ]

[ Harley all but laid out the red carpet for Gary, all he had to do was pretend to be the guy he is at work. Which is so much easier with a mask that covers most of his face.

She was getting that ten bucks, pink skirt, didn't even wait that long before she was making her way to the bar. Gary hadn't even wiped the lipstick marks off his cheek yet by the time she arrived, slipping into Harley's show.

The arms were nice, his face a little chubby, but she could work with this. As long as she could get him somewhere quiet before his girl came back. The conversation starts off light, hitting a couple snags along the way. Such as her asking what he did for a living, and this putz answering honestly. Though, saying he's a henchman when he's a level 10 number 2 at this point, was kind of stupid. But he was stuck in his ways.

Pink skirt kept looking back like she was waiting on something, but she let him buy her a drink while he was officially working on his second. Her hand rested on one of those uncovered arms of his.

Things seemed to be going positive for a little while. Even if, it might have seemed suspicious that Harley was still missing. As he talked with her, he missed a few clues and hints that she was trying to send his way. Eventually she signed, muttering thanks for the drink, and walked off on him mid-sentence.

It was time for a third drink now that he was embarrassed again.]

Edited 2023-09-05 01:51 (UTC)

[ Harley booked a decent suite at a nice hotel on a stolen credit card and texted the reservation details to him, just in case Pink Miniskirt moved fast. Then she just hung out in the bathroom for a while to kill time. Played a few games on her phone. Became besties with a couple of drunk girls at the sink.

When she figured enough time had passed she poked her head out all ready to give Gary a big thumbs up and sneak away, but he was alone. The fuck? ]

She probably sucks anyway. I bet she thinks voting in local elections is a waste of time.

[ Hopefully drunk besties were fun at least. More fun than someone was having with his small pity party. He still hadn't figured out what he did wrong, but it would be fine. Gary knew he'd not try a third time like he had told Harley, one more rejection, and he'd want to just get on the train and go home to play Call of Duty or something.

Looking up when she spoke, his green eyes meeting her. That kind of kicked puppy look for a second or so. A half-hearted smile forced up. ]

Probably, or I do. Who knows, I definitely struck out though. Thanks anyway, Harley. Seriously.

[ Harley linked their arms together and leaned against his shoulder. ]

Whatever, fuck 'em! You're already with the hottest girl here. Let's have a couple more drinks and then we can grab takeout on the way to the hotel. I'll watch whatever nerd stuff you want. Promise.

[ He leaned a little closer to rest his head on her a moment. He just needed a second to shove the bad feelings down. It's probably fine.]

You know what, you're totally right, Harley. And, I like the sound of that.

[ His mind already wandering on what to show her, maybe Rogue One since it could be stand-alone. ]

Mexican or Chinese for take out? [ The question asked as he motioned the bar tender to them. At least going to a hotel, he'd not wake up hung over with any more tattoos, or anything too bad having happened. ]

[ "At least going to a hotel, he'd not wake up hung over with any more tattoos, or anything too bad having happened." Ha. Ha ha.

Anyway.

Harley spends the rest of their time at the bar hanging all over him and really playing up what those other ladies missed out on. Once she's a couple more drinks deep she sees Pink Miniskirt head to the bathroom and excuses herself. Less than five minutes later she comes running out, blood on her knuckles, and throws a fistful of bills at the bartender. ]

Time to go!

[ He would learn, oh how he would learn.

For now though, he would trust his incorrect thoughts. Having Harley hanging off him and playing it up did improve his mood. He waved a hand when she excused herself, not thinking much of it until she tossed down the money, and he was on his feet following her. ]

Harley? What happened?

[ he sees that blood, but followed at her pace.]

[ Harley didn't answer until she was confident they were far enough away that nobody was going to come after them. She glanced down at her bleeding knuckles and wiped it on her pants. ]

Just girl stuff. Gave someone a tampon. Hey, look, we can pick up some beers at that convenience store!

[ And this fool buys it. He knows so little about that kind of stuff. ]

Oh! okay. Cool. [ Nope. Not asking anything else about that one. ] That sounds cool, gonna let me pay this time?

Yeah, okay, you can get the beer. Oooh, we should get snacks too! Can we get snacks?

Dude, do I look like I would say no to snacks? Just grab me a bag of spicy Cheetos and I'll cover what we get.

[ Look, he even waited for her to go in first, since it's an automatic door.]

[ Harley wandered the aisles and picked up anything that look like it might be a good beer snack, then met him back at the counter. ]

Should we get room service at the hotel or do you think this'll be enough?

[ Gary had at least gotten a semi decent case of beer. Instead of whatever was cheapest. Paying once everything was run, he looked back to her. ]

This should be okay, if not we can order something there, or I can run out. Not like I don't do 3am 7/11 trips often enough.

[ He admitted, as he gathered the bags and the beer up to carry.]

Where is this hotel, anyway?

It's close! I didn't want to make you have to miss a window of opportunity because you had to wait on a cab, so I made sure to find one in walking distance. It's like two blocks from here.

[ Harley takes half the bags from him and loops their arms together. ]

Forward march!

Dude, you think of everything. Sorry I messed up the plan, but we'll have fun anyway.

[ He tried to promise, letting her take half the bags as they walked together arm in arm. ]

Yes, Boss! [ A playful tone there. He had too. One doesn't get a hench4life tattoo without being good at following orders. ]

You didn't mess anything up. I picked the wrong girls. Next time I'll wingman at a convention. Some of those nerds have got to be DTF.

[ By the time they get to the hotel, they're giggling and stumbling into each other. The staff are professional enough not to raise an eyebrow at a couple checking in for only one night with no luggage. As soon as they get into the room Harley cracks open a beer and starts to change into the complimentary robe. She picked her outfit to look good, not to be comfy for a Netflix and chill night. ]

[ He had responded with something, about as long as it didn't conflict with his schedules. This dweeb actually goes to panels and takes in the whole convention experience.

Moving on with Harley up to the room, he was setting up the movie rental while she was changing after he left his sneakers by the door. Cracked open a beer for himself too while waiting, instead of going with Rogue One like he had considered, he had loaded up A New Hope. Poor Harley. At least the actors are pretty, just not as pretty as the ones who come later. Carrie Fisher, aside, that woman was a goddess.

He hadn't removed anything but his shoes, and was sitting against the back of the bed, resting against one of the pillows and the headboard.]

[ The hotel was just fancy enough to provide makeup removed with the usual toiletries, so she washed her face before joining him on the bed. He had seen her with her hair down a couple of but this would be the first time he saw her bare face. She tosses the other robe at him. Comfy is MANDATORY.

The opening scroll of the movie almost took her out. She was drooped against his side and fidgeting by the time the action started, and then it was a series of obnoxious questions coming too fast for him to even properly answer before she moved on to the next thought. ]

Who made that robot? Is that other robot a trash can? Where are they? Why can't anybody shoot worth a damn? Who are those guys? Who are those guys? Do we like those guys or the first guys? Do you want to make out?

[ The last thing in the world he expected to see Harley without her makeup. Of course, she was just as pretty without it. It was just the lack of color on her face that made him blink. He offered a smile after a second before he caught the robe.

It didn't take long to get himself down to his boxers and socks, with the robe on. Once they were settled together, he draped an arm around her just to make it easier. Trying to watch, and answer... which didn't work.]

That's a spoiler, I could tell you what he's made of, but do you really want to know? [ He didn't even try to answer some of the rest. Sighing some. ] Luke, Han, and Ben are who we like for now.... wait what was that last one?

[ That distracted him from the screen a moment. He only sound a little annoyed at the questions, but he knew she'd have some, just not that fast. ]

[ She sat up to face him, letting the robe slip down her bare shoulder. She looked as casually as if she had simply offered him another beer. ]

Let's make out.

[ He looked torn a moment. Biting his lip as he considered it for a moment before asking.]

Are you sure? You'll miss part of the plot?

[ Oh there was some yelling in his head. He didn't hear 24 as often anymore but this was a moment his friend was calling him a moron.]

I already didn't read the whole novel at the start. You can catch me up on the details later.

Also, I'm naked under this robe.

You're naked?

[ that derailed any argument. And, well, she was already admitting she didn't pay attention and with 24s jerring what could he really say. ]

This won't hurt our friendship, right? You're important to me, dude.

[ He was already leaning in some, the movie could be restarted later.]

[ She stopped her own lean and looked puzzled at the question. ]

Why would it? Do you ghost people after you bang?

[ He stops when she stops. Looking a little confused, too. Then realizing he's gotta admit something that 24's bitching at him not to admit. ]

Two things, dude. One, I've never made it past 3rd base. [ Yeah, that was a little embarrassing, and he knows it's a dealbreaker for some. Maybe more so with Star Wars playing as ambiance.] two, the last person I made out with nearly cost me everything. So, I've been a little hesitant. And three, I know I didn't say three, but it needs to be said, I'd never ghost you. You're my friend.

[ She giggled and booped him on the nose. ]

You're my friend too! And I'm not gonna charge you, silly!

[ Harley, that is probably not what he meant by 'cost him everything' and you know it. ]

[ He made a scrunched up face when she booped his nose.]

I didn't mean it that way, but okay.

[ Finally, he reached out a hand to her cheek, so he could lean in again to kiss her a little awkwardly. ]

[ Harley took the lead as the kissing expert between the two of them. She didn't rush him, but her every move was confident and deliberate. Gary could be a quick study with the right teacher. Besides, if she was going to be his wingman again then she should know the quality of the merchandise. ]

[ Gary could follow easily, more so while taking their time. Learning from the master in this area. After a few moments, his other hand went to rest on her side. He was so okay with her testing the merchandise, he could worry about any issues later. ]

[ They kissed for a while just like that, nice and slow, easing into it. But Harley wasn't really made for slow and eventually her mind started to wander a little. She got a giggle fit and had to turn her face away. ]

I just remembered you said you wanted to find a babe with no bra.

[ Harley plucked at her robe and pointed to the Leia on the screen. ]

Look, we're even both wearing white.

[ Taking the time to just kiss and learn how to be less awkward with it, was helping his confidence. The giggle fit did make him pull back a bit, arching a brow. But when she explained, he looked to the screen then back to Harley with a goofy grin. ]

Where do you think that came from? [ He motioned to the screen with one hand. ] Right now, I totally think you're wearing it better.

[ That might just be the fact he might get to see under it sooner or later, but that's high praise given his lifelong crush on her. ]

[ Harley arched a brow and smirked. ]

Should I go put my hair back up?

[ She kissed him again before he could answer, because he might say yes and she really didn't feel like it. He might get nitpicky about the authenticity and ruin the mood. ]

[ There was no answering when she kissed him again, a small muffled noise escaped between their lips.

Trying to be just a little bolder, he moved a hand from her side down over her hip, still over the robe. ]

[ Harley smiled into the kiss at the ~extra spicy~ move of touching her hip. The scandal!

She wrapped her arms around his neck and slid onto his lap to deepen the kiss. Slow and steady wins the race or blah blah blah whatever but hey man, pick up the pace. ]

[ Totally scandalous tip touching~.

He couldn't even take a moment to be flustered as she slid into his lap, deepening the kiss. He's still following her lead. Trying to pull back a little, but failing as he mumbles between their lips.]

Can...mmmphf... I? [ His hands going for the robe, he so wanted to see the goods, and having her in his lap made it all the more desirable. Not like he could hide it anyway. ]

[ She murmured permission into the kiss and dragged her teeth over his lip. ]

Yeah man, do whatever. It's cool.

[ She got a small shutter out of him when she drug her teeth over his lip. That did something for him, not that everything right now wasn't. His hands clumsily undoing the robe to push it back on her shoulders. Not pulling back from the kiss, because that's a Herculean feat he is not prepared for yet.

No. He just moves one of his hands to squeeze one of her breasts. A excited 'oh my god' is spilled between the kisses. Sorry, Harley, you knew he was a dork before this started. ]

[ Harley shrugged the robe off and let it bunch around her waist, leaving her top half completely bare. That little whisper got another giggle and quick nip from her. She moved his other hand to her breast as well and arched her back to press into his palms. ]

Now this seems a little uneven, don't you think?

[ Her fingers plucked at the edges of his robe. Kind of rude to stay clothed here. ]

[ Gary didn't need to be directed once she put his other hand on her breasts as well. His green eyes all but lit up. This was so totally awesome!

He shifted his arms off of her chest long enough to shrug the robe off his shoulders. Bunched down where she was in his lap. The hench4life tattoo arching across his stomach, still a little pudgy in spots but most of his weight has shifted to muscle after his training.]

Better? [ Looking her over he grinned and pulled her close so skin could touch skin. ] fuck your hot, dude.

[ He muttered before going to kiss and nip at her neck, his hands going back to her chest, because, duh. They had too, those tits were the bomb.]

[ Harley leaned back to get a look at him and trailed her hands appreciatively over those muscles. He was a thicc cut of beefcake, that's for damn sure. ]

Yeah, better.

[ She laughed when he pulled her against him and went back to pawing at her tits. Not at him, but because they were having fun together and she felt happy about it. ]

[ He was quite proud of all the improvement he's done since his friend died. And feeling her hands trail up those muscles made all that work, so worth it. ]

Awesome.

[ Gary muttered against her skin, the laugh didn't fill him with dread like he would have expected, no. It just helped ease some of that anxiety. It was fun, and being with someone he trusted, kinda made it less nerve wracking.

One hand stayed to pinch and squeeze at one of her nipples while the other moved down to her side, and he tickled her. Just to see if she was ticklish. That laughter was too cute. He should be in a hurry, but he wanted to take his time and enjoy as much of her as he could.]

Edited 2023-09-07 18:05 (UTC)

Awesome.

[ She grinned in agreement and tipped her head back to give him more of her neck to kiss. She sucked in a breath between her teeth as he started playing with a nipple. One hand slid up the back of his neck and the other covered his hand at her breast to show him a better way to touch her. He didn't need to stop, just a little gentle guidance.

When he tickled her side she jumped and squirmed in surprise with a giggle-shriek. ]

Oh my god, you dick!

[ There was no venom or hint of actual upset in her voice. They're still having a good time. ]

Edited 2023-09-07 18:21 (UTC)

[ Something else was muttered against her neck as he worked a mark or two into her pale skin. He might not have a lot of experience, but he knew what he wanted.

As soon as her hand is over his he followed that silent guidance, wanting to learn how to touch her properly, and not too hard.

He laughed when she jumped an squirmed with that giggle shriek. His hand moving from her side to the bed behind her, leaning forward.]

So worth it, your adorable, Harley! [ Swooping in close to kiss her again, aiming to lay her back on the bed.]

Edited 2023-09-07 18:44 (UTC)

That is so not fair!

[ Harley fell back on the bed with another laugh and pulled him down with her for more kissing. ]

I'll let you get even later. [ He was ticklish too, but for now that didn't matter.

Shifting up he kissed her back a few times, running his hands down her body before returning them to her tits. It was only after squeezing and teasing her nipples my more the way she had guided him before, that he broke the kiss and started to kiss down her neck, his perpetual stubble scratching a bit as he moved further down her body, ready to explore her more. ]

[ Harley briefly tipped her head back to see what was happening in the movie now, but she'd missed way too much and the feel of his mouth moving down her body was an extremely welcome distraction. She murmured and cooed pleased encouragement after every touch. ]

You're doing great.

[ The fact that Harley distracted him completely from Star Wars spoke volumes. And yet, right now he didn't care.

He hummed an approving sound against her skin, stopping his decent to take one of her nipples between his lips. He expected she'd guide him against if he did something wrong but for now he was just living out a fantasy he's always wanted to do.

The hand that had been there moved down to grip her hip, so close and yet so far away from its destination.]

Hey.

[ Harley arched under him and shifted her legs apart so he was between her knees. She gently combed her fingers through his hair and tangled them in his ponytail. ]

You can touch me.

Mmm?

[ The noise given to show he was listening as he so wasn't ready to stop playing with her chest yet.

His eyes shifted up her way when she gave permission before they closed again. It was only then that he slipped his hand between her legs, he totally missed her clit but carefully exploring and enjoying the feeling of totally having his hand against a real girl, a hot one at that. Harley was so wicked cool. ]

[ Harley let him blindly feel around for a while, not really getting anywhere but not doing anything that felt bad either. Eventually she decided it was time for another lesson and pushed herself up on her elbows. ]

Hold on, let's--

[ She parted the robe and pushed it away so he could actually see what he was doing, and guided his hand again. ]

Here. Like this.

[ Gary might have been fumbling, but he was enjoying it just the same. He didn't huff or bitch when she pushed up, nope. He sat up some on his knees to look down at her.

His robe abandoned at the top of the bed since it wasn't tied. All that was left on him was his socks and boxers.]

Goddamn. [ He whispered almost in awe, she was hot with her clothes on but like this? Naked, legs spread around him and tattoos on display? Epic.

He let her move his hand, studying and learning the feel. A goofy grin across his face as he learned from her. Porn only taught him so much. ]

Edited 2023-09-07 21:48 (UTC)

[ Her expression was getting a little fogged over as he followed her guidance. Everything so far had been nice but now she was starting to feel good. She swallowed a tiny moan and bucked once against his hand. ]

That-- yeah, like that. S'good. [ She sighed happily and let him take over again. ] I like how big your hands are.

[ And here earlier he had been worried about his ego being bruised tonight. That was so far from his kind as she bucked and sighed happily.

He flushed a bit more at her praise. If he wasn't already mostly hard, that alone would have done it. Keeping up the motions as she had showed him, only slipping his middle finger in after she spoke.]

Thanks, I like everything about you. [ It was cheesy but so true at the moment.]

[ She cooed as he slipped a finger in, her hips moved again and her eyes fluttered closed. Harley reached out and slipped her hand into his boxers to touch him too. Her hand is hot and soft around his erection. ]

This okay?

[ That coo was enough to tell him he was doing something right, but as her hips moved, he was working to get a second finger in at least until he felt her hand wrapping around his erection. A moan escaped before he could stop it. ]

Oh... fuck, no, that's fine, just not too much. Don't wanna... you know, before it's time.

[ Well, that was embarrassing, but he was honest to a fault with people he actually likes. ]

[ A delicious shiver ran through her as she felt the stretch of that second finger. Her hand moved on his cock in slow, even strokes. ]

Gary--

[ And then she was sitting up to kiss him again, moaning into his mouth as their tongues brushed together. ]

[ He couldn't even try to say anything else, hearing her say his name like that sent a shiver down his spine.

Kissing her back just as deeply, keeping the hand working within her going as his breathing got heavier between their kisses. ]

I've got a condom. In my bag. But we'd have to stop touching. [ She bit his lip, again. Her movements were getting harder, sloppier. She kind of forgot about being a teacher and just started doing whatever felt good in the moment. ] What do you want to do?

I've got one in my pants too. [ He muttered still kissing her as much as he could. That bite had him so tempted to say yes. ] I so wanna...

[ Yet, he couldn't stop himself from keeping up the motions of his hands, the way she was moving against him, and the way her hand moved were stronger than his will to pause and get one of the condoms.

He didn't usually carry one, but Harley had made comments that he grabbed one to be safe. He just didn't expect the night to lead to this. ]

[ She mumbled some vague agreement but didn't stop to let him get the condom. She was fucking herself on his fingers now and moving her hand on him to the same pace. The kissing was more tongue and teeth than lips and she moaned his name into his mouth. ]

[ He at least had enough of his wits left, despite the drink and horny haze, to keep moving his hand the way she'd shown him earlier. His thumb on her clit while the two fingers stayed in her.

24s jerring all but ignored for the sound of her moaning his name, he was gasping hers every now and then. At least here he could hold back some, but her hand felt so good that it was possible he might not make it, and right now he didn't care. This was more than good.]

[ Harley could feel herself on the brink of something but she just couldn't quite reach, and it was driving her crazy. She whined in frustration and twisted her hips. ]

Can you, like, curl your fingers? Just a little? I can almost-- Fuck, I want it real bad, Gary.

[ He didn't have it in him to reply with words, but that image of her twisting her hips and that whine? That's gonna be revisited on a lonely night or two. But the moment she asks, he does as she asks.

Curling his fingers while still moving them, the kisses stopped just to try and read her face to see if he was doing it right.]

Like that, Harley? [ He asked a bit breathless. Edging pretty close, but still fighting to hold back.]

Yeah, yeah, like that.

[ She made such high little noises when he hit the right spot. It was possible she was hitting a pitch only dogs could hear. Her eyes were squeezed shut, jaw slack and mouth panting, skin flushed, sweat beading on her forehead. He was definitely doing it right. ]

Can you--? Harder?

[ It was then, that he had to move his other hand to hold her other wrist and try to move it off, a quiet asks to stop despite how good it felt. He wouldn't fight her on that, though.

Hearing that breathy tone, he knew he was dangerously close to blowing. And yet, the way she answered was such a boost to his self-esteem. ]

I got you, Harley.

[ His words breathy, and heavy, but Gary shifted a bit for leverage and started to move his fingers harder, watching her with a little more ease if she had stopped touching him. Otherwise, his breathing would be more erratic trying to keep the rhythm while being right on the edge.]

[ Harley let go of him and fell back against the bed. Her fingers twisted in the sheets and she writhed under his attentions. She bit her lip on a long, low groan, and watched him through half closed eyes. Her pupils were blown out with lust, making her eyes look dark.

She pressed the back of one hand against her mouth, stuffing a knuckle between her teeth and biting down to muffle the cries as she came on his fingers. ]

[ Part of him hated the loss of her far too talented hand, but the rest of him knew it was for the best. He could focus on her and hopefully calm himself down some to not be a complete chump when he got the chance.

Not that a lot of thought was going through his head, not while he was watching her writhing, against the bed and move against his hand. This was so much better than porn. He wanted to tell her not to hold back her sounds, but he didn't get the chance. Watching her bite down on her knuckles, he kept the same pace of his fingers as he felt her tighten around them, not to throw her off, just drinking in the sight and sound of her getting off. ]

Damn, Harley. [ He almost cooed. ] You're amazing.

[ Only once he thought she was finished did he start to slip his fingers free of her, still in a bit of awe at how good she looked laying there. ]

[ Harley stretched languidly and sighed in the blissful afterglow of her orgasm. It wasn't earthshaking mind blowing action but, damn, he got the job done. She smiled at him with satisfaction. ]

Mmmm, yeah.

[ She is amazing, thanks for noticing.

Harley nudged him with her knee. ]

Condom. Go.

[ It might not have been earthshaking mind-blowing action for her, but for him, that was the most epic thing he's witnessed in a long time. That smile got a goofy grin in return.

How could he not notice?

That nudge got him moving, and a mock salute with the two fingers that had been in her.]

Yes, ma'am!

[ He replied playfully, shifting off the bed, to grab his pants off the chair he'd tossed them on earlier. With the robe off, if she looked over, she'd see the tattoo Gary had gotten after the Monarch's bachelor party.

Coming back with the foil packet in hand, a moment spared to kick off his boxers before he got back on the bed. Nothing too impressive, average size, maybe a bit more girth, but that's what she's got to work with. The dorky henchman was busy trying to get the packet so he could get it on. ]

[ She giggled at the salute and watched him go. She had her own tramp stamp so she couldn't judge him there. When he came back she reached over to stroke his thigh while he fumbled with the packet. She should say something real clever and seductive right now, keep the mood going. ]

Nice dick.

[ At least there was that, the less judgement the better.

The feeling of her stroking his though brought his green eyes back down to her face. That goofy smile returning before he laughed. Still just having fun with it all.]

Oh my god, I never thought I'd hear that.

[ finally getting the condom out and slipping it on, he looked down at her. He'd waited so long for this moment and now it was both exciting and terrifying.

Leaning over her, to rest his weight on one of his arms. ]

Ready? [ That nervousness in his tone while lining himself up. At least 24s whooping was distracting him from blowing right there from being so close.]

[ Her nose scrunched in another giggle and she gave his balls a gentle friendly pat. ]

Really? It's true though! Thick feels better than long. Of course, neither matters as much as eating pussy. That is what makes a man a keeper.

[ The most important lesson he could ever learn. Now he knew the cheat code for dating way out of his league.

Harley shifted her legs apart for him and raised her hips up to make it easier to line up. ]

Yep, go for it!

Edited 2023-09-08 17:16 (UTC)

[ He makes a noise at that ball pat, sensitive and all. But the fun mood not at all lost.]

Dude, that's great! And given I've always wanted to do that, no one will hear me complain.

[ Gary replied as he moved a little while she shifted finally lined up and started to slowly push in. The sensation as expected was so much more than his imagination ever could have expected.

He needed a second once he was in. Dropping his head on his chest a moment, muttering curses under his breath. Just give him a moment.]

I will happily let you practice on me any time.

[ She slid her hands up his arms and linked her fingers behind his neck as he pushed in. She was still all tingly from the recent orgasm and the extra sensitivity made the stretch of his cock feel real good. She had to bite her lip and try hard not to move, be a good pal and let him adjust, but she couldn't stop one small twitch of her hips.

And the tight squeeze of her walls around his dick. That might have been a little bit of teasing on purpose. ]

I was so right. Really nice.

[ Gary would totally try to remember to say hell yes to that later for now he was trying to gather his marbles from how amazing she felt.

He groaned when her walls squeezed him just right, the twitch of her hips had already been good but that...

That was what he needed to push himself up on his forearms, his ponytail hanging over a shoulder as he finally started to pull back and start a slow rhythm trying to keep his shit together so they could both enjoy it.]

Dude... totally, holy shit.

You good?

[ Harley let him set the pace and get used to the new sensations before she started to move with him. She rose up to meet him in a kiss as they fucked. ]

Go fucking good.

[ He managed to say while setting the pace. At least he's made it past two pumps. Everything else was just a bonus.

He met her kiss, more confident in it after practicing with her as they moved together. Having issues holding the sounds back from how good she felt around him.]

[ Harley was pleased to note his growing confidence, since that was her entire goal. Gary was a good guy, he just had trouble believing it enough to show others. She didn't want to play up her reactions and set him (and his future partners) for disappointment, but she was sure to make encouraging sounds when he did anything that felt good. She didn't want him to hold anything back so she moaned against his mouth to try and draw it out of him. ]

[ Harley was certainly the confidence boost he needed, plus teaching him things he could never learn from just watching porn. Total bro for helping.

And for making him feel as fantastic as she was. Those little sounds and moans were everything at the moment as he was already pushing to his end. He wasn't destined to last long, not being the mostly virgin he is. No, they at least got a few minutes before he all but froze mid thrust. A gutteral sound escaping as he spilled into the condom.

His arms still holding him up but shaking a little. He needed another second.]

[ Harley held him as he shuddered through it and caught his breath. She smoothed his hair back and kissed face. And when he was recovered, she raised her hand for a high-five. ]

Nice.

[ All those little comforting motions made it all the better to come down from. As he was recovering and she offered that high five he returned it before slipping free and flopping back on his back. He'd deal with the condom in a moment. Now was just basking time of how awesome he felt. ]

Dude, Harley, your the best friend a guy could ever ask for. [ that dorky grin offered her way. Moments like these he wished he still smoked. He'd give. That up when a nagging voice that now lived in his head got himself blown up.]

Fuck yeah I am. Told you that you'd get laid tonight. We can even go for another round if you get a second wind. Check out isn't until eleven.

[ She flashed him a smug smile before rolling into his side for a postcoital cuddle. What she actually wanted to do was hop in the shower and finish herself off real quick, but it was important for him to learn good habits early. ]

So how are you feeling now? We're still cool, right?

I totally didn't expect this. Just so you know, not that I'm ungrateful, I'm so fucking grateful, Harley. So taking a rain check on that other round once I can.

[ He moved an arm to make snuggling easier, and so he could hold her close. A kiss dropped to her forehead as best as he could. She was teaching him all kinds of good habits, and this was one he definitely liked. ]

Dude, better than I think I've felt in years. We're absolutely cool, you're my friend, that's so not changing.

Good.

[ Harley smiled at him and raised his hand to her mouth so she could lick the taste of herself off his fingers, then bit playfully at a knuckle. ]

It was fun, and I'm not just saying that cuz we're friends.

[ his eyes went a little wide watching her take his fingers between her lips.]

Oh my god, that's so fucking hot.

[ His eyes staying on her with a goofy grin.]

I'm glad to hear that, I prefer the honesty.

[ Harley leaned over him and planted a kiss on his lips with one big cartoonish MMMMMWAH! Then she hopped up and stretched. ]

I'm still kindaaa... Gonna hop in the shower and rub one out.

[ He kissed her back, but couldn't help the tired chuckle that followed at that cartoonish action. She was adorable, and he was still watching her. ]

Oh dude, no worries, as hot as it would be to ask to watch, I so get the shower being better. Though if you need any help or anything I can do, I got you.

[ Not that he even wanted to sit up right now, but he so would. ]

You can join me if you want. Thought you might be a little worn out at the moment.

[ She tipped her head and gave him the once over. ]

... or maybe you wanna eat me out?

[ Gary's eyes looked her over a second. Pondering it, both sounded good. Better than good. He pushed himself up enough to pull the Condom off, and lean over the edge of the bed to toss it in the trash before looking back to her.]

Dude, both of those sound amazing, worn out or not. Come on, ladies choice, what would you rather do?

[ Harley knelt on the edge of the bed and ran her thumb over his lip. ]

You want me to lay down or sit on your face?

[ He shifted to lay back down. It was an easy choice. ]

Come on, up here, if It's too much, I can tap your thigh or something.

Good answer.

[ Harley crawled across the bed and braced her hands on the wall. She position herself so his head was between her knees. ]

You ready?

[ As she crawled up he reached back to pull his hair down, so the ponytail holder wasn't digging into his neck, the tie tossed over on the night stand as he watched her move up and brace herself. ]

Totally ready, Harley.

[ He moved his hands up to rest each one on one of her thighs, not to hinder her but to just be able to hold and grip her from below. ]

Cool.

[ She lined up with his mouth and lowered until she could feel his lips on, well, her lips. The stubble on his face rubbed the soft, sensitive skin of her inner thighs in a kind of wonderful way. ]

[ He would have mirrored that sentiment, but the second her lips touched his, he shifted his chin a little, taking an experimental lick between her folds. Keeping in mind where she'd showed him to touch her earlier.

A hand being pulled back down, realizing that he might want it in a moment. For now, he was busy experimenting to see what she liked. He pretty much expected if he did something wrong, she'd correct him.]

[ Harley rocked her hips experimentally, grinding against his mouth and sometimes bumping his nose with her clit. She was giving him time to get used to the new position as she felt out the right configuration. Once she had figured out the angle of approach, she settled her weight and started riding his mouth in earnest. ]

[ Gary wasn't too worried about holding her weight or the way she started to ride his lower face once she seemed to find the way she wanted to move.

Working his mouth on her as she shifted. A pleased noise escaped him. Oh he was having fun with this. The hand he had moved shifting under her for now, but not yet putting it to work.]

[ Harley took that pleased noise as the okay to really go for it, so she let him take more of her weight and snapped her hips harder.

If he dies, he dies. ]

Ooooh shit, I've missed this!

Edited 2023-09-09 04:32 (UTC)

[ if he got worried about her smothering him or killing him, he'd tap out, or try to lift her up a moment. As it was he's survived plenty he shouldn't have.

There was something exciting about the whole thing. Trying to time his breathing for the quick moments she was drawing back to snap her hips forward.

Those words were sending another shock of arousal through him. Sure it hurt, but sometimes pain was good. And if someone she bruised his nose, he'd claim he got in a bar fight, no one would question it.]

[ Surviving a night with Harley might give him more street cred than a bar fight.

He couldn't see her expression for cues so she made sure to be more obvious with her sounds of pleasure. Whimpers, moans, coos, stuttered oaths. She kept one hand pressed to the wall and moved the other to a breast to twist and pull a nipple. ]

[ He always tended to ignore the talk some of the other henches made about her. He knew how rumors flew in the hench circles, and he always figured if she wanted him to know something. She would tell him.

He couldn't see much of anything but her skin and and stars behind his eyes when she bucked forward now and then. Those sounds told him he was doing something right. Next time he could try to experiment more, this time he was just trying to keep from smoothening, ending up with a broken nose, and to keep working his mouth and tongue against her as best he could.]

[ Harley started moving her hips in small circles as she ground down on his tongue. The muscles in her thighs were getting tight with a tiny tremor. She reached down and gripped his hair in both hands as she rode his face. ]

[ it was when she gripped his hair that he started to realize how much harder it was to breath, and yet, he was so willing to keep trying. He hadn't tapped out yet. But he did grip one of her thighs with the arm he hadn't moved earlier. Silent encouragement. His eyes closed as he kept at it.

His lungs burned a bit and he was tempted to move her but his minds eye gave him the image of 24 clapping his hand angry telling him to not move. To not be a chump and keep going. He's stayed under water longer than this.

And with that in his mind he relaxed the hand on her thigh to let her do what she needed. ]

Ohhhkay, okay, that's-- Wow.

[ They had almost found the magic combination. Her fingers tightened in his hair and she shifted just a little bit so his focus was on her clit. A sudden shudder ripped through her body and she gasped. ]

Wowie wow wow! Yeah, right there, that's it!

[ Aside from the burning lungs, he was finding things out about himself in these moments. He didn't mind her pulling his hair, in fact it felt pretty good and distracted him from his need to breath. And just how hot it was to hear her above him, as muffled as it was between her thighs anyway.

When she shifted, nearly all of his focus shifted to her clit. That was clearly the cheat code he needed to memorize. ]

[ His fingers had his dick had felt good and she'd been sure to make pleased noises to encourage him, but her reactions to his mouth were on a whole different level. Clearly this was what really drove her wild, and she wasn't thinking about him anymore. Actually getting lost in pursuit of her own pleasure.

Her second orgasm of the night came on faster and harder now that she was still sensitive from the first. Her entire body shook and her thighs clamped against his head. She even lost her balance and pitched forward against the headboard with a thud. ]

[ Those noises were all catalogued in his mind for lonely nights, they really let him know when he was doing something right. The only downside to their current position was he couldn't really hear her clearly. And that was a loss he was willing to take, cause what he did hear? That sounded hot as fuck, and told him he was doing something right for Harley.

Even if she was doing most of the work, anyway.

When he felt her body shake and her thighs clamp down he started to struggle a little, he needed air, and he needed it now. Danger Will Robinson. Hearing the thump, he shifted his arms quickly, wrapping both around her thighs to try to pull her back on his chest some. Putting his strength in too it, just in case, she kept those thighs locked.

If she let him move her, he'd gasp for air a few times. If not, he'd try again before remembering to tap her thigh repeatedly. ]

[ She whined in protest but let him move her. The truth was she liked being manhandled in certain contexts, and this was absolutely the right context. His arms were great and she'd let him pick her up and toss her around aaaany time.

She sagged on his chest and panted hard to catch her breath. This time she looked at him with the biggest, dopiest grin. ]

[ For once he ignored the whine, he needed air more than not, moving her down until he could breathe. A few deep, shallow breaths taken. Feeling the oxygen pour back into his body.

One of those arms was dropped to hang off the side of the bed, the other draped across her back. He'd happily pick her up and toss her around in fun ways if she made that known, but for now. This was perfect.

That dopey grin was returned with a tired but amused one. ]

That. Was. Awesome! Like Totally fantastic, dude. [ His mind's image of 24 had vanished for now, but he didn't mind. This was the best, though he was down for the count for now. ]

[ Now that 24 had witnessed his best friend's totally epic end to virginity his spirit could be at peace and he finally could go to his eternal rest.

Well, no, but that would have been cool.

Harley kept smiling at him, enjoying the sight of him with his hair a loose mess and his mouth and chin glistening wet all because of her. ]

You look so hot right now.

[ That would have been a pretty good way to head off to the afterlife.

She managed to get a blush out of him with that. The dopey grin refusing to go away.]

Dude, you're going to embarrass me here. Beside's you look like, fine as hell right now.

[ That hand on her back moving up to move a strand of her hair.]

[ She slid off him with a blissed out sigh and cuddled up to his side. ]

Now we both need a shower, but I gotta catch my breath first.

[ She ran her fingers through his hair and licked the remains of her pleasure off his face, and then pulled him into a deep slow kiss. ]

[ He was so completely down for the post snuggle. He did give a tired chuckle though when she mentioned the shower. ]

Yeah, we totally do. Hot as you are right now and all... but I gotta catch my breath too.

[ And yet, he kept looking tired and content as she licked the traces of her juices off of his face. He shifted just a little to meet that slow, deep kiss. Yeah, he was a quick learner for sure. Already putting what she taught him to use as he kissed her back.]

[ They make out for a while like that, a nice bookend to how this had started. When she got an idea, she pulled away enough to snatch her phone and snap a quick selfie of them cuddling on the bed. Then she sent it to his number and tossed her phone away again. ]

For later, when you think maybe you dreamed the whole thing.

[ She smiled and booped him on the nose. ]

[ He could hear music playing in the background. Oh, damn, were they already at Obi-Wan sacrifice. Damn, time flew when they were having fun. He looked up when she was taking the picture. Oh, that was SO getting saved. He shook his head in amusement, and kissed her cheek once she tossed the phone. ]

You totally know I will later. Once I sleep, this is all going to feel like a dream.

[ That boop got a laugh, as he pulled her close. ]

Should we try to go shower, or wait? Or, do you want to shower alone? I so don't want to seem clingy. [ He was just having a good time all around. ]

Better shower now. We'll feel sooo grody in the morning if we fall asleep first.

[ She got up and waved for him to follow her into the bathroom. The hotel shower was more than big enough for the two of them. She started the water and started washing up whether he followed her or not. ]

[ Gary didn't say anything but he did haul himself off the bed. His body still kind of feeling great from getting off not long ago.

He followed her into the shower. Which he was surprised they both fit in so well. He too started to clean up before looking over at her.]

Want me to help with your hair, Harley?

Oh sure! But touch these first.

[ Harley turned to face him. She was wet and soapy as she cupped her breasts and them an enticing little jiggle. ]

Shower tits feel soooo fun to play with!

[ True friendship. ]

[ Gary was about to question what she was asking until she turned. Those green eyes widened as he grinned and stepped a little closer to take both in his hands and play with them, wet and soapy. Teasing her nipples now and then.

This henchman would always be weak for a great pair of tits. She'd hold so much power over him with them.]

THIS is epic! Like top ten moments ever.

[ Amusement just rolling off his tone. Everything else forgotten but this. ]

Right? I get distracted in the shower like all the time.

[ Harley could go for another round but she was satisfied at the moment, so this was some pretty platonic titty fondling. Just a couple of good pals. She kept washing up the rest of her while he had fun. ]

I think you gave me stubble burn on my thighs.

Dude, I can totally understand, I think I would too if I were you.

[ He knew he was basically done for now, but playing with her wet boobs after all of that? Totally fun.

He looked from them to her when she spoke again and at least tried to look a little apologetic. ]

If I did, that was unintentional, but I'm so not apologizing. It was fun. I'd totally do that again anytime.

[ Finally he let go of her chest, and lifted both hands to push some of her hair out of her face.]

How about we finish up and go see if any of the movies left.

[ He SO knew it wouldn't be, but he was ready to lay down. ]

I'd totally let you.

[ She reaches up and rubs his scruffy cheek. ]

You should get some beard oil if you want to keep rocking the five o'clock shadow, though. As long as you plan to make it a habit to eat puss.

[ They finish up the shower, helping wash each other's hair. Harley even insisted that he use shampoo and conditioner, and helped him blow dry it after. ]

Sorry not sorry we missed the movie. I know you've wanted me to watch that since always but you didn't seem to mind a change of plans.

You're so on, just call or text some time. The train rides so much easier to Gotham than Manhattan.

[ He couldn't 'borrow' the car every time he wanted to come visit her in Gotham.

His eyes closed when she rubbed his scruffy cheek. ]

I'll look into it, I totally want to make that a habit. [ he didn't even mind the nearly passing out from lack of air bit.

He was well-behaved, and even offered to help dry her hair in return. ]

It's cool, maybe one day we'll watch it together, but I'm so not complaining about the change of plans, that was awesome. [ Moving over to the bed, after at least getting his boxers back on, he pulled the covers down for them, and grabbed his phone from his pants to set an alarm for 10 am. Not that he thought he would need it. He rarely slept in. ]

[ Harley didn't bother putting anything on and crawled into bed naked. He had a good look already so there was no point getting shy now. She settled against his side for a cuddly night. ]

You really don't regret it, right? I dunno, maybe you wanted your first time to be something different, but I really tried to make it a positive experience.

[ No, at least for the time they were in the hotel room, his shyness had all but poofed out the window. Turning off the lights, and moving to lay down next to her. Gary left his phone on the nightstand and offered the remote her way. In case, she wanted to turn on Looney Tunes or something while they snuggled. ]

No regrets at all, Harley. Like zero. You made it a positive experience, I promise. I owe you one, dude. [ He even kissed her forehead when he said it. ]

[ She turned the television off. He must be exhausted and she wouldn't really pay attention to anything on the screen. If she couldn't sleep then she'd just get up and play a muted game on her phone. ]

Nah, you don't owe me. I got two orgasms out of it.

[ Once the TV was off, he shifted on to his side, an arm draped over her. He fell asleep within 20 minutes. Luckily, he wasn't the type to snore, but he did sleep pretty deep. Both from the drinking and the orgasm.

Around 9:30 his alarm went off. Moving to find his phone without getting out of bed and shutting his alarm off as he flopped back against the pillows again. It was the first night in a while that he didn't remember dreaming and slept right through. Though it was taking a moment to remember where he was, and realizing he was a bit hungover. Not quite ready to get out of bed yet.]

[ Harley grumbled into his shoulder at the noise. ]

Whuh th'fuh? Stoppit.

[ She reached across him to slap feebly around the nightstand at the first note and tried to go back to sleep when he shut it off. But it was too late, the damage was done. ]

Mmm. What time is it?

My alarm. [ He grumbled a little. As she slapped feebly across the nightstand. The phone abandoned to the bed as he laid there looking at the dark ceiling. Only a little surprised she was still there. ]

Nine thirty. You said checkout was at eleven. [ As he said it, he was honestly a little shocked he slept past 7. Sheila would already be up and realize the coffee wasn't made. Oh well, they'd be fine.]

Right. Right.

[ She sat up and stretched with a groan and a yawn. She rubbed her face and looked blearily around the room. ]

How ya feelin', champ?

[ When Harley sat up, Gary stretched some and rolled on his side to sit up. His head spinning as he sat up.]

Little hungover, what was in those drinks? [ He didn't feel that drunk when they got to the room, but this headache wasn't nearly as bad as some in the past.] How about you, Harley?

[ He needed to get dressed, but he needed a moment to sit there and let his head hurt.]

We've still got those beers if you need some hair of the dog.

[ Harley, on the other hand, was in obnoxiously good shape. She hopped out of bed to finish her stretch routine. ]

My thighs are a little chafed, but I'm great other than that. Do you remember last night, or were you way more wasted than I thought?

That might be a good idea.

[ He pushed off the bed to go pull one out of the mini fridge. Making sure not to get in her way. His morning run was SO cancelled. He snagged his pants off the floor to pull them on before he sat back on the bed, cracking the can open. ]

Right, right, beard oil. I'll add that to my list. Don't want that happening to you if we do this again. [ He seemed to be mostly awake now that he had moved around some. Watching her stretch while he drank, sitting on the edge of the bed.]

No, I wasn't too wasted. I remember mostly everything. There are bits from leaving the bar gone, but I've been far more faded before.

[ Harley helped herself to a breakfast beer as well and opened a pack of Twizzlers before she sat next to him on the bed. ]

Good. It would suck to have given you all that education and then you lost it in a blackout.

[ She gulped down half the can. ]

I know I keep asking, but are we good?

[ He reached out, a silent request for one of the Twizzlers. The breakfast of ...well not champions. But someone! ]

Oh dude, right? I'd be SO embarrassed of myself if I forgot any of that, not just because it was so totally awesome.

[ Gary was already beaming some, looking over. He offered a fist bump. ]

We're so cool, seriously. I wouldn't ever lie to you, unless, you know it was stupid important. But, seriously. We're cooler than cool. You good, too?

[ A man who gave her two orgasms in one night had absolutely earned himself an equal share of Twizzlers. ]

I am so good.

[ She returned that bump with a huge grin. ]

Blue croptop and pink miniskirt would not have been as good as me, so really it all worked out for the best. Don't you think?

[ Not too shabby for a nearly thirty-year-old virgin. But he had a hell of a teacher.

Her returning the fist bump? And sharing her Twizzlers, an awesome start to the day. Headache or not.]

Oh, dude, totally for the best. I don't even care if they might have been, which they so wouldn't have been. It was nice to just be with someone I know and trust. Definitely helped my nerves.

Awww, good, I'm glad! I knew you'd do just fine if you could get out of your own head about it.

[ She kissed him on the cheek before getting up to get dressed. ]

[ He chuckled at that, mostly because of how right she was. Not just on this, but in general. Since 24's death, he'd really started to question things he never would have before. It made life a little more difficult.]

You're absolutely right, Harley. [ That cheek kiss brought another grin to his face, finally finishing off the beer and setting the can aside. Grabbing up his suit shirt, he tugged it on and started to get dressed too. ]

You're right, that helped a little. [ His phone slipped in his pocket once he found a sock he lost in the bed and got in on. ]

[ Harley collected their hair ties and passed his over before putting hers up. ]

Next time you get down on yourself, just remember. You fucked the Harley Quinn.

[ Taking the hair tie from her, pulling his hair back into its normal ponytail. A bit messy, but he'd have to brush it out at home anyway. ]

Oh my god, when you say it that way, it's so epic. [ Gary held out a hand for a high five. ] Best night ever!

[ Harley happily slapped their hands together. ]

Love ya, man. Now start being nicer to yourself!

[ Gary looked pleased as could be when she slapped their hands together. ]

Love you too, dude. [ He had zero issues saying it to people he actually cared about. ] And I'm still working on that one, I promise.

[ Not like the guild paid for therapy for henchmen. ]

[ She took a moment to just look at him, all proud and shit. He'll make someone very happy some day. ]

I'm glad we did this.

[ She gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. ]

I won't be going to the meetups anymore, so promise you'll still keep in touch!

[ This night did wonders for his self-esteem. She'd really helped him out in more ways than she'd know. ]

Same, it was wicked nice. Thanks again, Harley. [ he added when she hugged him and kissed his cheek. He returned the hug and kissed her other cheek before she could pull away.]

That's gonna be a bummer, but totally understandable. I'll totally keep in touch, and same goes for you. I keep weird hours, but feel free to text me anytime. I'm always there for you, man.

Weird hours are better for me anyway. You know everyone in the Gotham scene is practically nocturnal.

[ She went looking for her shoes. Gary had left his by the door but she had kicked them off wherever, so now it was a fun hunting game. ]

Oh fuck, don't let me forget the blowjob next time!

I kinda noticed that, yeah. Totally cool, we've been mostly working at night and dealing with the renovations in the mornings.

[ Gary was dealing with the renovations, Monarch was just picking colors, wallpaper and expensive stuff to fill the jersey mansion with.

Buttoning up his tucked in shirt, he moved over to get his shoes to tug them on, looking back to her with wide eyes.]

Oh my god, seriously? Dude, you rock! [ He was so easily made happy.] But, I so get to return the favor, yeah?

We're already two to one, if we're keeping score.

[ Harley glanced at the time digital clock on nightstand. ]

Do you want one now? There's time before checkout.

Dude, I so don't keep score. Not when we're having fun.

[ That offer had him looking at his watch, then biting his lip. He finally shook his head some. ]

AS much as I want to say yes, and I SO do, I have got to deal with Manolo today, and I'll be tired as hell if we do. Total rain check though. I wouldn't say no to one more kiss before we hit the train station, though.

[ He knows himself well enough. If there wasn't something to keep him awake after getting off, he was SO going to sleep. This fool really thinks no one will notice he was out all night. ]

[ Harley ran her hands up his arms with a smirk. ]

Just one?

[ Then she'd better make it count. She pulled him close by the collar and kissed him breathless. ]

[ He was about to answer, but the feel of her hands running up his arms felt nice, and then she pulled him down, and he kissed her back. Taking a moment to turn them some, a moment where his uncertainty went out the window as he carefully pressed her back against the wall while she kissed his breathless. He'd always wanted to do that.

Only when they pulled back for breath did he mutter against her lips. ]

Did I say one? Totally meant a few... [ Greedy, sure, but she had been spoiling him since last night.]

[ Harley wrapped her arms around his shoulders and her legs around his hips when he pressed her against the wall and just abso-friggin-lutely went to town on this man. ]

A few? Coulda sworn I heard you say a lot.

[ Had they been trying to leave? That certainly couldn't be the case.

One hand sliding under her to hold her more firmly against the wall, the other next to her head against the wall as he kissed her back, trying to keep up and have fun with it. ]

Yeah, [ He muttered between rough kisses. ] That's totally what I said.

[ She dragged her teeth over his lip again. ] Y'know... You've already been away an entire night... [ The rock of her hips against him, an arch of her back. ] What's one more hour?

[ She got a shutter out of him when she drug her teeth over his lip. Clearly he liked that.

Gary pulled back just enough to look over her face. Weighing over it. ]

Fuck it, you're right, and he can make his own coffee.

[ He knew the Monarch wasn't getting out of bed before 11am if Sheila didn't wake him up. It was probably fine. Leaning back in to steal another rough kiss. His mind echoing to remember to look into that beard oil when he gets home. ]

[ Harley rolled her hips again to punctuate her very excellent point and dug her fingers into his hair, twisting as gripping. She bit his mouth again. Now that he knew the basics, she wasn't interested in holding back. ]

Edited 2023-09-11 02:24 (UTC)

[ Any other thoughts of getting home quickly vanished with that roll of her hips. An excellent point indeed. A needy noise slipped free between their kiss now that it was going.

Pulling the hand off the wall next to Harley, as he groped her through the dress, Rocking his hips back against her. Breaking the kiss long enough to ask.]

Where's... where's your purse?

I'll get -- [ She unlocked her legs and wiggled out of his arms, albeit reluctantly. Her hands on his hips maneuvered him until his back was against the wall. ]

Let me just...

[ Her nimble fingers unfastened the suit pants and she slowly sank to her knees in front of him. She licked her lips and glanced up at him from beneath her lashes. ]

Yeah?

[ He didn't question it, nope. Just moving as she wanted him too, even a little reluctantly. At least until his back hit the wall and she was sinking to her knees.

Looking down at her a look of both shock and excitement crossed his features quickly. Leaning more on the wall as she unfastened his suit pants. ]

Dude, absolutely, do whatever you want to me. [ He answered, a hand reaching down to rest on her shoulder for now. It would be in her hair shortly. ]

[ She laughed as she tugged his cock from his boxers. Her other hand cradled his balls. ]

If I did anything I want then we'd be here aaaalll day.

[ Harley's lips closed around the head of his cock, her tongue flicking over the slit, and her fingers curled around the thick base. She sucked lightly before trailing her lips down the shaft and licking back up. ]

[ The moment she pulled him free of his boxers, a hitched breath escaped. Her hands felt fantastic already.]

Dude, you make it so hard to say no...

[ Not that he could at the moment, his eyes closed, head sinking back against the wall. Gary's hand from her shoulder moved up into her hair. He couldn't help but groan when he felt her tongue flick over the slit. Harley held so much power over him at that moment.]

Fuck.... Harley... [ His voice needy already. ]

[ Her mouth is so hot and wet as she gives every part of his cock rapt attention. ]

I could call the front desk. [ A hot stripe licked from root to tip. ] Extend the reservation. [ Her lips closed around the head again and pulling off with a wet pop. ] We could spend the entire day in bed, watching movies and fucking.

[ She batted her eyes up at him as she slowly took him in her mouth. God, did she love being the devil on someone's shoulder. ]

[ A few years ago he wouldn't have minded just calling off. Now it was a harder choice, and boy was she making it wicked hard. He could barely keep his eyes open just from how good she was making him feel and how hot it was everytime he opened his eyes.]

Fuck it, I'll call and say I can't work today. [ A few heavy pants as he knocks his head back into the wall and finally grips her hair some.] Fuck, just don't stop.

[ Checkmate, Harley.]

[ Heh heh, making it hard, heh heh

Aaaanyway, Harley smiled as much as she could with her mouth half full of him and got back to work. Hey, the Monarch would understand, maybe, if Gary told the truth and said he was getting most epically laid.

She let saliva gather in her mouth and run down his length to smooth the way for her hand as she stroked him in time with her bobbing head. His cock was too thick to comfortably swallow the whole thing without her jaw getting tired, but she was a hard worker and she always got the job done.

She only paused a moment to pull back and say: ]

Give me a head's up before you come. Do you want me to swallow or do you wanna shoot on my face?

[ whatever thoughts he might have had scattered all directions as she was getting him both slick with her saliva and achingly hard. The feel of her mouth was something he wouldn't even be able to put to words.

The monarch would probably understand and be impressed if Gary actually said that. But, who knew if he would. He at least had to call Manolo later. But later could wait when Harley was bobbing her head and making him groan out with how good it felt.

He had to force his eyes back open, looking down when she pulled back. It took a moment to realize what she asked. ]

Yeah, like ... no problem. [ the porn lover in him wanted to chose her face, but the rest of him knew it would be awesome to have her swallow.

He flushed a little more as he took a breath.] How about your face? [ Of course, he asked like she hadn't offered. Using the hands in her hair to lightly nudge her back, already missing the heat of her mouth.]

[ She hummed agreement as she swallowed him down again, hollowing her cheeks with suction and teasing with her tongue. She hummed again when the head of his cock hit the back of her throat. She looked up to catch his expression in that moment. ]

[ Garys eyes slipped closed again, taking in the feeling of her swallowing him down, the added feeling of her tongue just helping him along.

He gasped when she hummed, that sent a shiver through him, not a sensation he expected but such a good one. When she looked up as he hit the back of her throat. His eyes popped open again as, very much the 'oh holy shit' kind of look.]

Harley! [ That was just too hot.] Harley I'm gonna... [ As if she didn't know. At least he lasted longer this time.]

[ Harley pulled back so the head of his cock rested just on the tip of her tongue stretching out of her open mouth and closed her eyes just in time. Spurts of cum covered her face, some of it even getting in her hair. When it was over she licked her lips, sat back on her heels, and grinned up at him. ]

How'd that compare to the fantasy?

[ If he thought last night was images to visit on lonely nights, this almost blew that out of the water.

He watched despite how much he wanted to close his eyes and bask in the feeling. The noise that came from him when he came almost a gasp and growl.

Sagging against the wall a moment just looking at her.]

So fucking hot. Can't even compare... can I take a picture? I promise not to show anyone. It's just for me.

[ Because damn, he didn't want to forget that ]

[ Her face scrunched up as she considered that, droplets of his seed running down her chin. ]

Okay, but if I ever see it on the internet I'll murderize ya.

[ She posed prettily for a photo and then headed into the bathroom to wash her face. When she was done she called the front desk to extend their booking and put in an order with room service for coffee and breakfast. Then she pushed him onto the bed for one of the top five best days of his entire life. ]

It's me, Harley, I would never.

[ Pulling out his cellphone he lined the shot up real nice, this was more important than putting his dick away.

While she was in the shower he called Manolo and in his awkward Spanish relayed what needed done. And texted the Monarch to let him know he needed the day off and would explain when he got home. For now, he was down for anything Harley threw his way. This day officially ranked over meeting the cast of Firefly.]

You’ve got a lot of nerve, Quinn. Showing up here after the day I’ve had.

[ Negaduck detests 99% of people, really, whether they be human or waterfowl. This isn't so much true for Harley, though. He has a special place in his heart just for her, a very new feeling he might call "mild annoyance" that gets stronger the more she speaks. It’s one of the few feelings he has beyond pure venom.

It's late at night, and Negs has a big heist planned for tomorrow that requires all his energy, but he's not about to be rude when she turns up at his doorstep looking like a sadsack. He’d actually love to be, and if it were Quackerjack or Bushroot showing up at his secret hideout, they’d be getting a chainsaw to the face right now. But with Harley — there’s something in that shriveled husk of a duck heart that keeps him from doing so.

Instead, Neggsy answers the door with a scowl. He's still wearing his fedora and jacket, a little ruffled from a long day of being blown up by gas guns by his archenemy. No doubt she would have seen his run-in with Darkwing at the bank all over the news. He glowers down at her, leaning against the doorway and waiting for an explanation as to why she's here. Was his hideout that easy to find? ]

This better be good.

Edited 2024-10-07 18:31 (UTC)

[ His terrible day is exactly why she's here, because she did see the news and after she finished laughing her ass off, she'd decided to be a good friend whether he liked it or not. Which he did not. But she persisted more for her own entertainment than his benefit.

She skips up the stoop, heavy bag bouncing jauntily against her hip, and puts on a tone of voice that is absolutely guaranteed to slide under his skin like a needle. ]

Aww! Neggsy-weggsy is gwumpy-wumpy!

[ She drops a hand on top of his hat and spins it on his head as she muscles past him through the door. ]

I brought presents.

Geeeeeeeeeee, Harley. I’m thrilled.

[ His scowl and sarcasm is ever present, and his eye twitches a bit when she touches his hat. That’s his hat. Negs doesn’t have the energy to thwack her with a mallet for that of the petname, so he instead takes to angrily fixing his cap with a grumble.

His hideout is a bit of a dump, but then, what do you expect? It’s spacious but he sure as Walt isn’t the type who entertains, so the interior is a bit barren and messy. Crates, strewn-about blueprints, a Darkwing Duck dartboard covered with bullet holes… the works.

He shuts the door behind him and stalks over to a dilapidated recliner, dropping down with a sigh and a creak. ]

Whadja bring, then? A kick in the teeth?

[ A sour disposition with no violence is the same as sunshine and rainbows with him. He must be so glad to see her. They are best friends. ]

Maybe, with enough foreplay and if you ask real sweet.

[ She drops the bag to the floor and pulls out a bottle of eye wash, chucks it at him. He probably refused to do anything about a gas attack to the face besides tough it out from some misguided sense of badassery. She also pulls out a selection of DVD cases and fans them out in her hands. The nastiest, most gruesome splatter horror a bargain bin has to offer. ]

Brought some comedies for you! And--

[ A hefty axe. ]

It's decent fun, but not for me. Figured you'd get more out of it. And!

[ She raises her arms and stands in a prim little ta-da pose. ]

Me! Apartment building got bombed. I'm crashing here tonight.

[ Ah, finally. The real reason for her mission of goodwill. ]

I don’t know which I’d hate more.

[ Negs nearly misses the projectile, and almost tumbles out of the chair catching it. He gives her a dirty look. He's not going to say thank you, because he's a dick, but he does mumble thirty-six words a Disney character should not say under his breath, and that's pretty much as close as she’s gonna get. There’s also a microscopic voice in his head that says maybe he’s not as alone as he likes to think that promptly gets beaten to death and thrown off a bridge. ]

If I wanted to watch relentless carnage and senseless bloodshed, I’d go for a nice walk in the park.

[ The axe he likes, though.

Negs takes it from her and holds it up, admiring the way it catches the light. There’s a little sneer. He's a simple duck of simple tastes. Then it aaaalllll sinks in, and his eye twitches again, the malice returning full force. ]

Hey, waitaminute!! Whaddya think this is, a bed-and-breakfast?! I got big plans for tomorrow and I don’t need you here muckin’ em up!

Breakfast would be nice.

[ She'll leave the movies stacked on one of his crates. He might change his mind and she's pretty sure he would like them if he gave it a chance. ]

Okay, so you got plans tomorrow. Big whoop. You can still get your scheme on tonight, and I'll be gone in the morning.

[ She bats her lashes and gives the most shit eating of grins. ]

Or am I too distracting?

When Rocket is on the planet, then Harley is somewhere nearby. When Harley disappears for days at a time, Rocket probably took her into the stars. Everybody knows.

It wasn't something they ever talked about, really. Occasional meetings in dive bars turned into intentional meetings in dive bars, became a reliable plus one for any fussy event that would be more bearable with a partner in crime -- the crime often literal, as they developed a game of seeing who could pickpocket the best stuff by the end of the night -- and then finally spending time together on purpose for no reason at all.

The first time she took him out for a night in Gotham, Rocket had clocked the second the air changed when he walked into a bar. Some woman had looked down and he had an angry retort building in his throat as her lip began to curl in a sneer, and then Harley had launched herself over him to beat the disdain out of them. He plucked broken pieces of teeth out of her knuckles in the bathroom and called her a frickin' moron. Word spread. Nobody in Gotham gives him any problems now.

Eventually a whistleblower held a press conference about Task Force X and let the public know that a group of criminals had been government property, used as fodder in suicide missions and saved the world at least twice. Two days later, Rocket had shown up at her door with a tool kit with a grumbled lie about wanting to have the tech injected into her head. She let him cut into the back of her neck in a tiny studio kitchen and never worried for even a second that he'd make a wrong move.

Then he'd stayed at her place for the rest of the week, refusing to admit it had anything to do with her wellbeing, and bitched about the nanobomb being rudimentary and useless. Not even worth the trip.

Harley tries to name it sometimes, asking when their next date night will be, and he sneers it off. He's not stupid. She might be open minded for her species but she's still Terran. Terrans go for other Terrans or, in a pinch, at least something Terran-shaped. Rocket has seen her flirt as easily as breathing with all manner of folks, in her city and on Knowhere, and she never takes up any offers. There's just no meeting whatever impossible standards this broad is looking for. That's fine. Nothing to do with him. It's a criminal waste that she keeps herself on a shelf, but hell. Not like he was ever in the running anyway.

He's piloting a ship now, Harley settled in the copilot seat with firm instructions not to touch anything. And he'd rerouted all the controls on that side of the panel for good measure. She waits until they're out of orbit, in endless open space, before she turns the music off and looks at him with those big baby blues and a stubborn twist to her mouth.

"How many dates before you put out?"

Edited 2024-10-08 03:02 (UTC)

Harley hadn't been home when Rocket swung by this time. Her fire escape is a good place to keep an eye out, even if just a minute before deciding she was probably in jail again and waiting was pointless. And he's already got a good view.

There's a slick gold convertible on the street and some leggy broad is bent at the waist to get under the hood. It's like a shot from a pinup calendar.

Oh, so that's where Harley is.

What a sight it was to come off the fire escape and round the corner to this fuck he's a lucky boy.

He whistles purposefully loud and reaches forwards to slap one of those presented cheeks. The good news is she should immediately know who has done it because there aren't many people who know how to cat call and only have about a 2 inch span to their hands.

Course just in case he's ready to dodge if she comes around swinging. If she doesn't then he'll hop onto the side of the fender to get a glimpse of the engine which gets as good a whistle as the cat call.

"Who'd you jack this off of?" He asks, tail flicking in delight.

Even if she can knows who it is, she still hadn't been expecting that and crashes her head against the underside of the hood.

"Ow! Fucker!"

She grabs the top of her head, getting grease and car schmutz in her hair.

"Got it from a friend, and I'm giving it back. It's just a headlight change, so don't get too hard."

Normal people would probably ask if their friend was okay but by this point they both know neither one of them is 'normal' and instead the toothy laugh he emits is that of a wild man just about folding over as he laughs.

"Tooootally worth it." Even all schmutzed up, she's one of the best looking things on the block.

Well mostly he is gonna take a once over of the car. "These things are a pain in the ass to switch out lights from what I've read. Terran shit is all like that though, shits so basic but then fucky as hell." He takes a moment to scurry up the side of the car taking a peak at what she had been looking at.

"And a shame. They better be payin' ya good if not we are taking this bitch for a spin as payment because god damn." Course he's thinking about just doing that anyway.

"Tell me about it," she grumbles, gesturing broadly at the whole mess. "I can't actually see where I need to put the light. Gotta feel my way around."

She bends over the headlight assembly again and fumbles around with a scowl. It's not a hard job but it is fucking annoying, and it's kind of embarrassing to struggle with something simple in front of Rocket who is an actual goddamn genius at any kind of fiddly mechanical bullshit.

"Not paid. I bring the car back no worse than I took it, and she doesn't rat me out to the cops when I help myself. That's the deal."

Harley aaaaaalmost gets the right connection, misses but a millimeter, and huffs with frustration when she has to start over again.

"So I'm doing this because she's a good friend and the car means a lot to her. Belonged to her mom, I think?" She rubs grubby knuckles across her forehead. "Something like that."

Part of why Rocket is so good at what he does is the fact that he can fit in tighter spaces. But don't call him small that'll just tick him off. He is also very smart when it comes to this sort of thing, having a long history of taking things apart and sometimes putting them back together. Sometimes.

And when it comes to Harley this is a judgement free zone, though that doesn't mean he wont give her shit for it.

"What a sob story and a half." He sneers, but with the little story he'll actually be more careful. Still really wants to drive it though. Can you tell? He shifts so that he can lean in to where she needs to reach able to squeeze right to the end of his arms and grab the edge of the housing keeping it steady while she guides where it needs to go. Little hands make like work or something like that.

"So what you're sayin' is that we can take her out for a spin when we're done. Provided we don't wreck her." That is so not what that means

"Thanks, babe." Harley leans against him as she gets the new light in place and kisses the air by his ear. She wipes her hands on her shorts, leaving greasy hand prints on her butt. "Welp, that's it, unless you just wanna fuck around in there while I get cleaned up."

She tips her head to give him a smile. "And then if you ain't busy we can drive it around until I drop it off for her tonight. She's singing at a club. Could catch the show."

call me out

for prodigalmess

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This icon is both the best and worst choice

oh deeeear

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